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Started by bamountainboy, Dec 21, 2003, 04:27:08 AM

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I would greatly appreciate anyones help.
 My visitation was denied this past weekend with my son. My court order states his mother gets him during Christmas vacation which begins Monday 12/22/03 (per school schedule), although  there was an in-service day on Friday 12/19/03=no school. She refused my visitation stating the Holiday vacation began on Friday, this denied our Christmas together this weekend. My son lives in MS., I live in WV and have been making every effort to see him, I go to MS. one time a month (1st weekend) and his mother is to bring him here one time a month (3rd weekend). I have a signed document from her stating she will do so.
This is not the first time my sons mother has tried to keep him from me.
I am in need of help.  


You might need to re-read your order.  MOST holiday visitation starts the last day school is released, and holiday visitation can cut out weekend visitation schedules.  So, actually, the holiday started when school was dismissed on Friday (although your weekend, her holiday, thus SHE gets the weekend, not you).  
Keep in mind, NEXT year, if you alternate who gets the first part of xmas, or alternate xmas altogether, YOU get the child from the date school is dismissed until...whatever the order states.  
If your order is not VERY specific regarding this, she will not be found in contempt (it will be considered a communication issue as you both read the order in a different way).  I strongly suggest that you look at the parenting plan articles in the archives and make up a new one that is more specific.  *And, our order used to state that if a weekend was missed due to a holiday, we got the next weekend that wasn't part of the holiday.  So, no actual time is missed, just made up on a different date.



I agree, my order reads that way also, it's the first day school is let out for the holidays, so any standard visitation would be denied due to the holidays superceding that weekend.

Read it very carefully, before you jump in with a CONTEMPT, because it's probably not one.

Plus if you get the children after Christmas, let's say Dec 26th thru when school starts up again.  So check with the school to be sure of the exact date school starts again.


What I get a kick out of with the whole holiday stuff since I have my daughters for the entire time from noon Christmas day until they go back to school on the 5th is that I still have to pay support even though I am the one incurring the increased costs...and yes pay close attention to the calendar as school i sback in session with minor variations year to year


Well, you think that's bad...My dh asked for (had previously had 6 weeks during summer),,,asked for 9 weeks.  Judge gave him 7, Judge said if I give you 8, I have to give you back 2 months of cs, but I don't have to with 7 weeks! (We did get back one month already by having him 6 weeks).  Judge was "afraid this would negatively affect bm's finanaces!  What about ours??? Oh, that's right, it doesn't matter what bills the ncp has! What an ignoramus!


Sorry to hear you have problems. The other posters have given you good counsel.  

My comment is about your statement "I have a signed document...."

If this document is not filed with the court I don't think it means much if she decides not to follow it.  You might ask Soc to be sure though.

Good luck.



If She's not in contempt on this one then you mentioned there has been others ,
    So Heres the atty's theory of The fired atty and the good atty I have now

    Fired atty response to me : contempt "   " Blah Blah Blah History of contempts ,
    Good atty , If you let her get away with it you are training her to get away with it , By filing contempt some things happen although you  won't be likely to get a contempt the first time ,.
    1 She has to take the day off work to appear or hire an atty
   2 You can ask for make up time
   3  By filing EVERY TIME  You are showing a history to the Judge or commissioner <
  4 Eventually you will get contempt on her it mat take A few times
  So find an atty thaT WILL HELP YOU DO IT PRO SE OR   do it your self , If you mess it up the first time then Then you will be better prepered the second time . After the contmpt hearing go back to the court , [pierce county ) And get a CD of the hearing listenm to it a few times and figure it out , Next time file again ,
  After a few tries you will get it right all the while she has to take time off or hire an atty , If they ask for atty fees . Make sure You speak up and say no , "We would not be here if She was letting me see my kids "
   , What He tells pro se litigants to say at contempt hearings ,
     " I am forced to bring this to the court or she will keep doing it and My kids suffer ,
    If commissioner say's no contempt .
    " Ask for make up time " And have a date ready
   Get My good atty's theory , And a contempt hearing should only be like 300$
  The fired atty wanted 1,500$ So Go figure , You have to interview atty's contempt is a good way to find a good atty , Because all the slackers want to charge an arm and a leg , and the ones that are realistic Like My good atty , Schedule hearings before the commissioner With like 5 Men lined up He represents a lot of Men thats another plus , He's a guy for the underdog , So call A bunch of atty's and ask about filing contempt and how much they charge , And mostly if they talk to you like a realistic Human . I found that this is just like any other job , You want a realist , And a realist Is just like , My job as a contractor , There are contractors out ther that say all kinds of wierd stuff to people and want a lot of money ,
    I have learned from My atty , this is simple , You want to file contempt and why ? and he doesn't make you go broke doing it . And he does it in like a day or so and you get the papers showing he filed . then thats it theres no Bs , Or long story , Let Me tell ya: atty selection is every thing . And don't bother to hire an atty that tells a big story or talks up a story about" getting her "


I wholeheartedly agree that the legal system is skewed to not take into account the NCP's financial position. Which would make most semi intelligent people (non divorce attorneys and family judges excluded from that group) realize that one reason NCP's have a higher incidence of bankruptcy is that main point. Fortunately for me my second job as a bartender I have alot of income from tips which helps out. But I think that for the system to take the childs welfare into account (if that is what they are turly worried about) then they would take into account both the CP and NCP's financial positions when "awarding" CS...happy new year folks!!!!