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Visitation Denied -- Lesson Learned

Started by MixedBag, Dec 30, 2003, 12:05:47 PM

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I just returned from a short vacation and have to share my latest court experience regarding my time with my son and my request (Motion to Show Cause) for make-up time where I asked the judge to allow me to make up 3 weekends (one per month) missed.

I got mixed results.

I am allowed one weekend per month in addition to everything else if I give my EX 2 weeks notice.

For July and August, I was denied make-up time.  Why?  Well, according to the judge and my EX, I never ASKED for a weekend in July or August.

Back in April, I received a letter from my EX saying that my son had "plans" over several weekends listed out all the way to October.  I answered his letter stating that he had created a problem for the months of June, July and August because he didn't leave a free weekend every month AND 6 weeks.  I suggested an alternative solution of taking mid-week days instead of a weekend.

He responded and said something like "Maybe you didn't understand me, I suggested you work around those weekends or consider the consequences your son might feel."  (Like miss a sport because MOM wants the weekend with him...)

I again sent another letter outling a solution -- EX refused.  By then it was too late to fix July and August.

Judge decided that I never ASKED for a weekend, so a weekend in July and August was never denied.  No make-up time will be given.  

Lesson:  I will tell the EX which weekend I want -- and no longer make the effort to "work with him" because it went to the point where I lost time with our son.  

Yes, I am disappointed in the judge's decision and I think the judge  knows that.  But I will respect his decision and won't make that mistake again.

October was the third month that I asked for make-up time and this I was given.  The weekend that I asked for started on Oct 31st and the EX denied because Sat and Sun were in November.  Fortunately, the court has defined that a weekend starts on Friday and that the entire weekend doesn't have to fall within the month.  Many of you here told me that too -- and I thank you.  I get to decide WHEN this weekend will be made up before the end of June.  No problem.

More to tell....but I read others who have visitation problems too.  Like "I cry in the dark" and turning her kids over 5 hours early when the EX didn't agree to make up time ahead of time or sign a paper -- my experience is that a judge will not give her that make-up time.  Period.

Funny how I don't have this problem at all as a CP to my daughters -- as a matter of fact, they just returned from a 10-day trip to see their dad when it was only supposed to be 7.  And then there's the trip out again for a weekend in February that's not even on the books....


"Funny how I don't have this problem at all as a CP to my daughters "

Hmmmm .... imagine that!  No problem when you're reasonable and sane ... what a NOVEL thought MB!

Is it possible that lawyers would not get rich and judges would not be appointed/elected if "reason and sanity" were words that could be used in the same sentence as "joint parenting"??

You've taken the higher road m'dear ... too bad others hold the child as ransom.

A dirty rotten shame.