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Sigh...it never ends...input please!

Started by I cry_ in_the_dark, Jan 09, 2004, 01:00:15 PM

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MKx2

GREAT idea!  The best of both worlds, and grandma gets to be involved with something that is obviously so important to DS!

It might mean some extra driving, but ya know what?  It will be MORE than well worth it!

I cry_ in_the_dark

I posted in haste this am after I decided to let my son go to his event and postpone my trip to my mom's.  I had a lot I wanted to squeeze in due to the loss of my time this weekend. So it doesn't really say what it should have.

Ah well. My bad attitude.

   

I cry_ in_the_dark

Ah...here I am posting in haste again because we rented a movie and have popcorn to make....

But, while it sounds good in theory...

Grandma is elderly and doesn't have much time left. She can't possibly come here. So, what is of worth to one, isn't of much worth to another.

I made my choice. Grandma loses. I'll pay the price for that one.


MYSONSDAD

Grandma does not have to lose. Is she close enough where you could go get her? If not, offer to tape the derby for her. On your next weekend with your kids, make a special effort with Grandma. [Maybe a overnite camp out in her living room.] I am sure she will be disappointed, but if this is very important to your son, she'll understand. Funny, Grandparents are like that. Very patient and understanding. That is what makes them so special!

Sounds like your kids are old enough to know what is going on with their activities. If you have access to a calender on your computer, AOL has a pretty good one. Next time you've got the kids, have them bring a list of things that are coming up. You can change the font color for each person, son blue, daughter magenta, you green. Have them add their stuff to the calendar, you do the same. Might be a fun project you can work on together and you will always know what's going on in their lives and they will know what's going on in yours. And they will make sure to get a list of  their events to add, whether it's from school or scouts.
It will also keep you up to date so that you can attend some of their activities.

Grandma won't be stuck out in the cold again.

The ex won't be able to pull anything like this for some time.

gipsy

 to   I cry in the dark
   Please tell me that You understand that the custodial parent is doing this intentionally , But on the other hand I hope you understand that this is an event that Is not going to chaNGE  for visitation purposes ,  I believe if the custodial Is hisoricaly doing this ,then he is giving the last minute changes  purposefully
      , I personally have a printout of My son"s school schedul;e In My billfold ,  I have also just Written in events On mY calendar
     Trust Me they won't do any thing for you ,  I have to constantly read the parenting plan , And Mark on the calender the days of the events ,
    I suggest that You also call His boy scout troop master And Get a schedule , then  As I said Before I showed at the school for an event ,
    With atty's blessings . I know CP talks all kinds of crap about me to any one she can so I intentionally went to ask questions and talk to the teachers , GET IT !!! MY atty. advises to go to His events , And be very nice and MAtbe she will do something stupid and there will be witnesses ,
 The Jest of this is , Do healthy things to be an involved parent and let  the CP prove themselves , Unless You can't Be civil around the other parent , I can Because Its just a game to Me , A test of time , My sister went through a similar thing when she wound uo With a child being left indefinitly after Baby sitting , My sister is a strong person and she took Mom Dad and Grandma On  Moms Side On in a court battle , And won period , My sister Tells Me again and again and My mom tells me from this expierience , It hurts the kids when they say things about the other parent , Heres the kicker , Now this child is an adult , Relaively well adjusted , Has a job etc , And Guess who the child /Adult now resents the most ,      ,,,,, It is certainly not My sister , And our family Is sort of her family . She to a degree  resents the side of the family that pulled all the crap , I hear again and again Children figure this out , the thing is before you know it they grow up < and then they like you or Not . I ask My self to be the parent That will be the one that has a relationship that will last past the current court order

I cry_ in_the_dark

Yes, I'm fully aware mr. dad is doing this on purpose. After my talk with my kids this weekend about "what were we going to do?" I explained to them that from now on, if I don't know about something enough in advance, it might look like I'm being mean but I'm going to keep my original plans.

You're exactly right. I had no issue with the fact that the Derby was on my weekend. But dad knew about it for months. I had the kids for 5 years. I always obtained extra ball game rosters for dad. He was always informed of concerts, and school activities.  Silly silly me for expecting the same in return.  :(


MixedBag

Chiming in late, but my EX did (and does) the same thing to me and I can share what happened last September.

I went to pick up my son and he came out of the house with no weekend bag.   No notice given by the EX, so the first priority was to BUY clothes.

Then my son says "Hey mom, there's a dance at school TONIGHT!"  Followed closely by "Hey mom, can I go to my best friend's birthday party Tomorrow?"

I made the best of the situation -- and in my opinion, yes, the EX should have told me beforehand, but then, THAT's why he's the EX.

Family comes first and that means following the order and NOT letting an EX intrude.

Hope your weekend went well...