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RO and visitation question-need opinions.

Started by avalon, Jan 10, 2004, 06:09:58 PM

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Another RO question"

           My DHhas an RO against him ( from Thanksgiving time and issued based on lies of course--but we all say that and we're going to get it thrown out.)which states he cannot contact his ex or any of her children from a previous marriage or his own 6 YO son.

She's just sent a note in child's back pack for our weekend visitation stating that she has arranged an annual check-up and follow-up medical appointment for 6 YO son during DHs usual Wednesday visitiation time.

'She claims that she made a "dual Appointment" for the annual physical for both the 6 YO and her 16 YO daughter from a previous marriage (who DH is not allowed contact with either). she says it's the only appointment she could get (dual) in January, so if he wants to see his son, he can pick him up at 5:30. The court appointed visitation is 3:30-7:30. We're in the midst of some sticky llegal battles anyway..

Of course we are not allowed contact to counter this via communication.

anyway my question is

1. Is DH within his rights to bring son to check up as it is during his time?
obviously he'd be playing with fire due to the RO if she shows up.

2. If she excludes DH in medical issues when they have joint legal custody can we take legal action?

3. Can she dictate this arangement of alteration of the visitation?

4. my suggestion is to inform her that DH will be taking Son to check-up during his visitation time and if he isn't available at 3:30 she will be in contempt, and if she shows up at the DRs knowing this, she is forcing a violation of the RO! Right?



I agree with your suggestion [4], but to be safe, check it with Socrateaser.

I have a RO on me. She can leave notes, say what she wants, follows me when I have my son, it's okay. But if I say one word, I go straight to jail, no stop or do not pass go.

We do our exhanges at the Police Department. You have to ring and have an Officer come down. It's a pain, but it covers my a$$.

If you need to make contact with her, go thru your attorney.


Thanks!  But should we just give in? I mean she pulls this stuff all the time...from minor stuff like this instance to  "I know it's your weekend but I'm taking all the kids to Nantucket"  tough luck for you to major stuff Like I'm Taking the kid a few hundred miles away for the summer...just proclamations like she can mess with visitation any time she wants for whatever reason.

It'll make us sound petty to fight it as it is his check-up , but darn it..she did get that horrible unfounded RO, and pulls all this crap, so why should we play nice?

What do  you think?

We do have an attorney but he's been less than aggressive.


Well, you are in a catch 22:  If you pick child up (from school I am assuming) and he doesn't go to doctor, you are bad for not doing the check up.  

If you take child to doctor KNOWING she will be there too, you are in violation of the RO.

If you let her take him like she suggests, you lose out on two hours.

I would ask Soc, but I certainly wouldn't show up there if she is going to be there.  

We went thru the "made appts during your time" thing as well, and had to get a court order to stop our bm from doing this.  Sucks.  

Good luck, will be interested to find out how this ends up...


She is playing you. Be careful. Document everything. Ask Soc.

If it were me, I would get the visitation denial form on this site and keep adding  to it. When you get 12-15 occurrences take it to your attorney or file it yourself. Include time you are losing. Is there anyway a Police Officer can be present to witness?

All she is doing here is hurting the kids. I literally beg to be at the doctors appointments and get refused. Just concerned about my son's well being. In return the ex has cut off all medical information. I sent the doctor a letter stating to him that she can not deny medical records and the doctor did not get back with me.

I wish you the best...


Thanks!  We also had trouble getting medical records...when we requested them we got just a list of vaccinations! So we had a lawyer write and we got the complete records including a lovely letter where the DR (without speaking wih my DH) wrote that she felt the SSs eating problems were due to my DHs alleged abuse in the home, and that he should only have supervised visits! This was way back when they were first getting divorced and the Ex thought up every piece of crap she could think up. even the letter admitted the DR hadn't talked to the father, but the exs lawyers waved it in my DHs face and he backed down (if only he had known ME then!!!!).

We made an appointement with the Dr separately to discuss SSs health, and we did so.

I'm sick of backing down.



Hang in there! This RO thing really sucks. I am tired of the games.

I am making it work for me, instead of against me. Get your eggs all in the same basket and dot all you I's and cross the T's. She's going to mess up and when she does, SLAM HER! Make sure you have good documentation. When I need an officer to witness, I get his name, badge and file a report. This way you can pull them into court to testify.

Funny thing about life, you can remember the truth, but seldom the lies.
If anything else, the kids will figure it out.

I had an appointment with the doctor too. I got asked "How often did you hit her?" Just shows how easy it is to convince people of total garbage. You would think a professional would be able to see thru it.