Please help...I want to stop a relocation of CP

[blondewithabrainil]

Thanks in advance for any who can give me any help at all.

I am a NCP that has been highly active in the lives of my children for the past 3 1/2 years. In fact, they have spent half of their nights with me and my wife, we have provided 100% of summer day care, done the after school pick-up and made sure 90% of the homework was completed when the CP did pick them up for her nights, have provided transportation to sporting events, summer camps and summer activities. In short, my wife has not only accepted my children but has spent considerable time doing things that they wanted and needed that their own mother was not willing or able to do.

In fact, the care my wife and I have provided enabled the CP to return to school and to cut back her work hours to part-time.

Now, my ex wants to move the children across state lines to an as of yet undisclosed location. She states that she is getting married and wants the children to live with her in WI. Of course, she prefers that I "give permission" and save her a bundle in legal fees. The fact that she is marrying a man who thinks $$ is more important than being close to his own children and being an active father further concerns me. This man showed no concern and moved to WI leaving his two daughters in FL for a better job. He has changed jobs three times in the past three years and have lived in three different states. I have no confidence that a move across the border of IL to WI would be their last move. He has already proven that he is willing to move away from his own children for a better pay check. What is to stop him from thinking I value the same things he does? (Which I do not in the least.)

I want to remain active in my children's life. My children are 8, 10 and 13 - two girls and a boy respectively. I maintain that it is most important for them to have a highly active father and to stay in a location where they have the majority of their ties both with school and church.

Realistically, what are my chances of stopping this move? I would appreciate hearing from anyone who has been down this road. Any help on what documentation to get ready for my attorney would also be greatly appreciated.

Thanks.

[Peanutsdad]

First thing,, is file now,, dont delay, dont read any further,, get it filed.


Ask your ex if she would be so willing to move if she had to leave the children and become a part time visiter on thier lifes during summers and holidays.


You need all the documentation you can get showing the kids have had a stable life with you and your wife, and that it is your opinion that it is not in their best interest to be removed from the daily contact with you.

Subpeona scout masters, church officials, teachers neighbors,, anyone who is NOT related. Sorry, but relatives testimony is typically given very little weight due to bias.

What I have SEEN here on the move away issues,, is a mixed result. Some parents are able to stop a move, some are able to overturn custody based on a move, others get smacked down and the move happens. It's really more based on the individual judge.

[joni]

I agree with prior post, don't delay.  You're also fortunate, your children are older and the judge would be interested in what they have to say about moving away from their dad.  Certainly, your Ex's fiances' history will not yield positively on him either.

Your concerns are valid.  It also appears as though you have great evidence to provide in not allowing your children to move.  Remember, your Ex wife can move, it's up to the judge whether or not your children will be accompanying her.

Do you live in the same school district?  That would be a huge plus.  Get your documentation and evidence together and use this when you file.

It's a fine line between filing a motion to stop a moveaway versus filing a motion for a change in custody.  They are mutually exclusive events.  In fact, many state laws state that you can't file for a change in custody just because the custodial parent wants to move away.  There has to be a substantial change in circumstances in order to file for a change in custody.  Of course, if the judge says the kids can't move, your Ex has 2 choices a) stay with the kids or b) don't stay with the kids and the kids have to stay...so where would they live....with you.

Here are the factors that Illinois applies to a move away case.  Many states follow these same guidelines:

1)the likelihood that the move will enhance the general quality of life for both the custodial parent and the child

2) the motives of the custodial parent in seeking the move to determine whether the removal is merely a ruse intended to defeat or frustrate visitation

3) the motives of the noncustodial parent in resisting the removal
the visitation rights of the noncustodial parent; and

4)  whether a realistic and reasonable visitation schedule can be reached if the move is allowed.

There's actually alot of good info for Illinois that I found at this link:
http://www.divorcenet.com/il/ilfaq-09.html

Don't use that Jeffery Leving, the "Dad's Rights" attorney.  I've heard more negative things about him.  Like that bankrupcty guy, Peter Francis Gerarci.  They're just the PR guys for the firm.  They get you to sign on with them and then dump you on an inexperienced, young attorney.

Good Luck!

[blondewithabrainil]

Thank you to those of you that replied. I will be speaking with some more attorneys since the one I spoke with advised me to wait until my ex filed the papers for the move. It seems to me much easier to try and stop the move before it even gets started. This proactive aproach seems much smarter to me than waiting until she files her motion to move them.

My children are in a private parochial school so that would remain constant if they remained local or lived with us. They also have strong ties to families in our church and our family all lives within 30 minutes of our home. We have asked repeatedly for information on schools in the areas they are house shopping and have received no information at all. How can my ex provide a plan to the court that shows the move is in the best interests of the kids if she cannot tell me where they are house shopping?

Let me very clear, if I thought there were more pluses for my children that minuses, I would agree to the move even though I would miss them terribly. I am not trying to be unreasonable or to stop my ex from marrying or being happy. I just want what is best for my children and I don't believe being away from their father, their step-mother and their step and half siblings is in their best interests. My family has been the constant in their lives for the last 4 years. When their mother traveled for business and pleasure, they were here. When they wanted to play sports and couldn't because my ex could not get them to and from practices and games, my wife made that happen. When they kids were going to be dumped with "friends" so my ex could "have a life", we took them with no thought to our own plans. It is pretty unfair that we are where we are now.

Does a half-sibling have any impact on the situation? Both of the girls are EXTREMELY close to their half-sister and it would be hard emotionally for all three of them to be separated for long periods of time.

Again, thanks for the information. I am extremely stressed about this.

[blondewithabrainil]

Any information on judges in Wheaton IL, DuPage County?

[Peanutsdad]

Yes half siblings do make an impact.

Thats another plus for not letting the children leave the state,, its hard to have a judge order sibs or half sibs be split up by a move.

[Davy]

Any information on judges in Wheaton IL, DuPage County?

YES !  I don't mine saying so !!

I've lived in Texas for 23 plus years and I've never been to Wheaton or Dupage.  My family's ONLY connection with that jurisdiction is a divorce/custody petition filed by my now ex-wife (a Texas resident) the day after she arrived there about 20 years ago.  She only resided there a matter of days.  

My wife's attorney was Msssss Bonnie Wheaton.  Msssss Wheaton  was a judge there as recent as a year (?) ago when she was under some sort of public/legal attack for her judical rulings according to newspaper accounts.  In my opinion (and case) Msssss Wheaton was very CORRUPT as an attorney which later led to Federal court rulings in my favor for the actions Dupage County and Msssss Wheaton took against my children and myself.  Their legal/judical behavior were deplorable.

I retained an attorney from Texas by phone thru a 1-800 number for the state bar association.  To this day, I've only had long distant phone communications with a Mr. Stephen Bell (Wheaton).  I can not find enough words to define his extraordinary consultation, briefs, etc.  
His knowledge of interstate (UCCJA;PKPA) custody matters were exceptional.  He and I prevailed in Dupage and set the tone for all
subsequent proceedings in three other IL jurisdictions, my TX jurisdiction, Federal court, and even about a year ago in a FL jurisdiction concerning two grandchildren ...yep ...she's still at it.

You might want to try a free consultation with Mr. Bell ... I doubt you will be disappointed.  His fees were very very reasonable 20 years ago and he was worth every penny.  If you show Mr Bell this posting he will remember in detail my case and perhaps the names of my kids.
 

The judge in my case was named Wertz (?) and has since retired.

I was able to raise my kids as a single father (sole).  A great joy !!!

[Indigo Mom]

-----I am a NCP that has been highly active in the lives of my children for the past 3 1/2 years.-----

-----I want to remain active in my children's life. My children are 8, 10 and 13-----

Just curious...how come you say you've only been a highly active father for 3 1/2 years?  What happened before that?  You weren't a father?  Did she not allow you any contact?  I don't understand.  

[blondewithabrainil]

I have only been NCP for 4 years. My first job after the divorce was 16 hour days plus commute so I could pay more than state minimum child support so my kids could eat. One of us had to go through hell to put food on the table. I assumed in excess of $20,000 debt out of the divorce. Between the two I was doing good to get the 2-3 days per week I was allowed to have them.

By highly active I mean that I have had my children over 50% of the days and nights for 3 1/2 years while paying FULL child support, 1/2 of school expenses and providing 100% of summer day care. My new wife has enabled me to provide this level of care while still paying full child support.

It is time IL went the route of other states and recognized that involvement cost $$ and uses a scale based on time spent with each parent rather than a flat percentage. It is also time for recognition of PHYSICAL custody rather than just legal.

[MYSONSDAD]

I can give you the name of an Evaluator you should avoid...


"Children learn what they live"