Should we or not?

[Imom]

Some may remember me asking for advise pertaining to transportation. CO reads the ncp at the time is responsible for transportation. Bm had asked for about three years to meet halfway, we agreed if she would sign a modification she said she would, she told me all the things she wanted I added them, WE (hubby and I) wanted a stipulation that if one party failed to show the transportation would fall back to the ncp at the time being resopnsible in the future with pick up/drop off times added. As there is none in the co right now.  I turned it in th our lawyer and he said to give it a try first, he did not disagree with the modification but he said she could take us to court with a sob sorry and the judge might bit. So we agree to meet this x-mas all went ok she was late for return, but called. I think we should try a few time before anything.

But how hard would it be if she took us back to court down the road and say we have been meeting since xxxxx I want the co changed? Then we would have no recourse ie no stipulation and would be stuck taking her for contempt right.

I understand our attorney, right now we can fall back to the co, but hubby and I have a strong feeling she will take us for custody again and this will be changed since we have been meeting per say.

How do you all feel should we just not change the co and hope for the best?

[Peanutsdad]

I've found that its a bad idea to do anything different from the cO unless you can live with it permanently.

Doing what you are doing IS setting a precedent for her to obtain a mod.

While I commend you both on your willingness to try to work with her, just be careful you dont get locked into anything you dont want.

[Imom]

This is what I'm saying or my point....................how are stipulations handled, they would both have to agree I understand that. Well if they do then it would be forcable right............don't get me wrong here if she called and said there was sometype of emergency well  we can work with her etc.  How would you word a stipulation like that.

[nosonew]

So what you are saying is you want an addition to your current order stating that IF the transporting party is late for pick-ups or delivery, you want to revert back to the ncp doing all the pick up and drop offs?  

Honestly, I think the easiest way to handle this is to do this:

1.  The parent receiving the visitation picks up.
2.  The parent getting the child back picks up at end of visit.

However, if there is distance involved, like over an hour, you may want to meet half way to make it easier for all concerned.  I don't believe it is fair to make the ncp responsible for all pick ups and drop offs if there is road time.  

Just my humble opinion, good luck.  If you do meet, you may want to put in a stipulation that if the party with the child is late by 30 minutes more than twice in a 3 month period, that transportation issues are changed at that time to whatever you are wanting.

[Imom]

ok sorry I didn't mention, its a 9 hour drive one way. Lateness is not really the big issue, its her not show at all to return the child then we must travel the rest of the way.

Right now co reads the ncp at the time is resonsible for transportation.


We want to cover our butttts as much as possible with meeting halfway, so we want it to say something like if one party fails in there duty to meet then the travel arrangement  gets changed to xxxxxxx. (back to the ncp at the time is responsible for transportation)


See with the way the co reads she is the ncp when hubby has physical custody, then hubby is when she does.