My Ex is driving me CRAZY

[djjames0410]

Hello all,

I'm brand new to the site as I've never had a need to use it... until now.

First, some background:

My Ex and I have been divorced since 2000. We have a son together who is now almost 8 yrs old. We have "joint custody" (what a joke).
She also has 2 daughters from a previous marriage - one of which legally emancipated herself from her mother at age 16 and is longer a part of her life.

My Ex is a strong believer in living off the system - she barely works - she survives on welfare and child support from her 2 ex-husbands. When she does work, it's so she can have extra money for herself (she treats herself to vacations - without the kids, and constantly wastes money at Bingo and superfluous shopping).

Since the divorce, my ex has moved 4 times. Each time she moved it was further and further away. Her most recent move (2 years ago) was to a location 6 hours away. It was that move that made weekend visitation impossible.

Last night, she dropped a new bomb - she wants to move to Florida (we both currently live in Maine). She is planning on spending the whole summer there, then most likely, moving down there for good - taking my son with her.

When she moved to the place that was 6 hours away, it was to move in with her new husband (her THIRD, and they have since divorced). I wasn't happy about that move, but it was at least still within driving distance, and in the same state.

What rights do I have? She has always been an extremely selfish person, and does not consider the thoughts of others or consequences in her decisions.

As it is, I now only see my son (a wonderful kid) a few times a year, and it's not fair that because SHE wants to move to Florida, I will not only see him even less, but will have to incur the expense of a plane ticket when I do want to see him.

She has also decided (mandated) that this year she will be claiming our son for tax purposes. I have claimed him the last 3 years, and have sent her half of the increase in return I get for claiming him. Now, she wants to claim him, and (as usual) is screaming poverty and she NEEDS to keep all the money she will get for claiming him. (about $1500, all from Earned Income Credit)

Why is she making everything difficult? Please help me in any way you can.

[Kitty C.]

Do you have anything in writing from her that gives her intentions to move?  If so, then you need to file for a TRO NOW, to prevent her from taking your son with her.  This isn't to tell her she can't move, it only menas she canNOT take your son with her until it's decided in court whether she can or not.

If you don't have anything in writing, see if you can con it out of her, like asking for dates and locations, so that you can prepare yourself.  Then get a damn good atty., get the TRO filed, and also file for modification of custody, based on a significant change of circumstance.

As for claiming your son, the IRS has some new rules this year, but what does your CO say about it?  If it is specifically stated in your CO whom gets to claim, that will supercede anything the IRS does or says.  Our PBFh has tried to circumvent (DH gets to claim every year he's current on CS), but we've beaten her to the punch by filing first.  I was told by an actual human being at our local IRS office is that the first to file is the first to get the refund, so we ALWAYS file immediately upon receipt of all necessary documents, usually in Jan. and always on line.

[djjames0410]

Hello,

Thanks for the quick reply. No, I don't have anything in writing - she just told me about her plans last night - which ended in a loud argument and me hanging up on her. I highly doubt I will ever get anything in writing.

I always thought that the parent that the child is not living with has to get permission from the other (there is an IRS form I print out every year to mail to her) in order to claim the child. Did that change this year?

What is a DH and a PBFh?

I assume a TRO is a restraining order, right?

[Kimberly9]

DH -- is Dear Hubby

PBFH -- is Psycho B---- From Hell

TRO -- is Temporary Restraining Order

You asked, "I always thought that the parent that the child is not living with has to get permission from the other (there is an IRS form I print out every year to mail to her) in order to claim the child. Did that change this year?"

No.  This hasn't changed.  There is still this form.  As an alternative to this form, I have been told that you can mail a copy of the Divorce Order first page and the page relevant to who gets to claim  the child.  We (as NCP -- Non Custodial Parents) have always had the ex sign the form.  The IRS doesn't want to get involved in divorce matters so this covers everyone.  And by her signing it, she acknowledges that she isn't going to claim him.  

If you file a tax return claiming the child before she does, she will get a letter stating that the SSN# has already been claimed and to provide proof that she should claim (in which case you would get a letter) or file an amended return.

Filing first does have its advantages.

On the other issue -- search this site on Move-Aways.  You can stop her from taking the child.  But there are motions you have to file ASAP.  Also, if you can't stop the move, then you can get a revised parenting plan that spells out when the visits are and who pays for them.  You could also use this opportunity to clarify the tax issue.

Good luck and keep posting.  We are here to help.

[Kitty C.]

Your goal should be to keep your child with you, but if worse comes to worse, make DAMN sure that she is forced to pay for ALL travel expenses, since SHE is the one moving away.  Might very well put a damper on her motives.  Either that or get your CS lowered for the expenese you would accrue with travel.  And ask for ALL summer visitation, minus 2 weeks either at beginning or end.  yes, you can legitimately ask and get all summer.  DS always spent all summer with his dad in CA.

But that is secondary to fighting the move of your child, as that should be the top priority.

[wendl]

Welcome to Sparc.

Check you court order to see if it says anything about removing the chidl from their home state.

Mine says that neither parent shall remove said child out of xx state without written consent of BOTH parents.

Also in my court order there is a section regarding relocation of children regardless if its' in the same school district out of school district and out of state.

I would file a TRO on her prior to her leaving for FL this summer, she may not come back. This way you can request that the child NOT be removed from said state until ALL legal matters are resolved.

Good luck

[doood]

> > RE: My Ex is driving me CRAZY

>Welcome to Sparc.