Erin Brockavich?

[tjraid18]

 I would like to thank everyone for taking the time and effort to share thoughts on this post. I had a friend who felt he had no choice other than to give up on his children because of reasons we can all undrestand. He said to me once, "If it's not their kids, they don't care." My friend wakes up every morning and deals with a pain that will never go away. Only time has helped. But here and on other sites like this all over the country, I see people who do care. People who want desperately to be able to do something, but just don't know what it is. I've heard of efforts of all kinds that are heroic . And I've heard of efforts that end up in suicide, or worse. It's obvious there is a problem with the legal system; and huge numbers of children and their estranged parents are falling through not cracks-- but gaping holes!!!! I found another "fathers rights group" and expressed my idea their. The co-ordinator timely informed me that this type of idea has been tried and failed. So I'm going to look into the cases he's referring to and see what I can dig up. Any other feedback to this post is welcome. Theres got to be a way!!!!!  Thank you, tjraid18
     

[ready4change]

Because the laws vary so much by state, it seems like the place to start would be to gather together within states to work on getting legislative changes.
Once people start making progress, other groups will definitely be able to benefit from the groundwork laid by others.

[Peanutsdad]

that is already happening,, in Ohio, ther is a very strong voice for change, making impact there, Georgia, the attempts are going on, in Texas,, same thing.

Right now, its isolated, but its growing. NCP's, (usually fathers, but a lot of moms I deal with also),  are fighting back. They ARE starting to make change happen.

Used to be,, nowhere did you find CP's held accountable for contempt of visitation,, some cases here, its caused a change in custody,, other cases, the judges are coming down harder.

In the strict fathers rights arena, more legislature is being discussed/and or voted on. More fathers aRE winning custody today than 10 years ago.

Women started protesting for suffrage in the late 1800's. Yet in 1950,, a woman really didnt have credit,, her husband did, and he was still held accountable for her actions as tho she were a child.  Blacks were "freed" in 1865, yet fought into 1970's to eliminate biased laws, attitudes and customs.

If you look for immediate gratification on the fathers rights stage, you'll make yourself crazy unless you take a historians view.

[tjraid18]

  Right on! thank you for the input. I agree that significant changes will come primarily through legislation, which does vary in "philosophy" for whatever reasons. Example: Oregon, where I'm at, seems to accept the freedoms of homosexuals to a grater extent than I would have ever imagined. This is a state founded on the timber and farming industry. So now there are counties here that are pushing hard for legalizing same sex marriage. Local social issues and views have a lot to do with legislative policy, and law making. we need to pressure politicians and judges, and lawyers,  on a state and national level by combining resources, talents, and all of our efforts (whatever those may be) together. We should take one case where there are obvious gross injustices and biases. All pitch in to help that one person retain a high powered lawyer. Raise awareness in the media. Showcase the damage being done to that child and non- custodial parent. Like the commercial for the christian childrens fund-- the one you either can't bear to watch or end up sponsoring a child. Take this case through court. Humiliate lawmakers, state child agencies, etc.  As the case is winding up, and the world is talking about it, the rest of us would step up the pressure on our cases. Or we could pick say, 10 more cases, and begin pushing them through. If our financial resources were thin, maybe other people who are not even involved with this issue would help out. It's an issue that is important to this country. there is progress being made that I've noticed too. Just in the last 5 to 6 years I've been going through it. Thats all the more reason to take action now and not just wait. My son took his first steps at my apt. when I first seperated. They were baby steps. When he graduates high school I want to be there to watch him take those young man steps. I want other non- custodial parents to be able to do the same. Lets not take baby steps . PLEASE!! tjraid18

[tjraid18]

  I just wanted to add to my above post. The reason I am suggesting this idea is because I can't deal with my situation by myself. I don't have the knowledge, the money, family support, or the patience, to be able to be involved in my kids lives to the extent that I should be able to. I have seen a lot of other guys in the same boat. i figured that if I could'nt do something about my particular circumstances, then maybe there could be a way to get other people together to make some sort of joint effort. My $500.00 retainer and $1000.00 in fees did what it did. I'm still not a part of my kids lives. If a bunch of guys got together and put their resources in the pot, then maybe we could really do something. I could afford $10.00 or $20.00. And I would be willing to do as much of the footwork as anyone else-- especially if I thought it might actually do some good. I know things have been tried by better people than me. And I know things are changing. But it's just not enough. In history things have taken time to change. But were in a much faster paced environment now. And these computers might actually come in handy for other things besides gossip, slander, and crime.
   Also, for those of you who read the above post. I believe that my son took his first steps to me because he wanted to make his father proud. Mom is "the momma", but dads are important to build self esteem and confidence. Seeing my son take his first steps was one of the single best things I've ever experienced in this world! And he didn't take a few steps and crawl the rest of the way to me, He stood up and walked all the way!!!!!!

[Rysimps0419]

Your last post brought tears to my eyes. I am with you on this all the way. I don't work at the moment and I am spending all my free time working on this. I have seen my son so depressed over not being able to see his son it breaks my heart. I am going to keep studying and if I have to take this all the way to Washington. Maybe we could start a class action suit against the legal system for being prejudice against men. Just in my paper work alone I could come up with a good case. I also believe there are a lot of Constitutional rights being violated here. I have access to one of the finest Law Libraries in the US, and I will be utuilizing it. I would love to get the media in on this, but I want to be prepared first. Anything that you think can help me please let me know.

[tjraid18]

  Funny. I have a law library very close to where I am living. I;ve gone in to look around and asked how to reference the information I might want to look at. The trouble is, I've gone to the library before a long time ago and found a few good sources to reseach, but I quickly realized that it's like looking for a needle in a haystack. I might be able to figure out what I was doing but it could take me a lifetime or two. It's frustrating.
    Also, I have lots of free time at the moment and don't mind using it to see what can be done. Good point about naming the legal system in a suit. I've had thoughts along those lines myself. My divorce attorney was going to name the Oregon department of justice/child support division and my ex wife in a suit for fraud that my ex-wife did, but I ran out of money.(And I let my deprssion get the better of me) He had the papers drawn up and everything. I was very interested and excited and would like to have seen it through for more than one reason. If something like that can be done, it makes you wonder what else can. We would have to be very specific about who to go after and how. I have read a lot of other sentiments along those same lines in this web-site and others. Are there any fathers rights groups that meet near where your at? If your son didn't go I'm sure they would consider you very welcome!!! Preperation for something like this is key. It would make it a lot easier if other people would get together to help out. Have a good one, Tim.

[Troubledmom]

Brief Child Custody History:

 In feudal England, custody was incidental to guardianship of the father's lands, and it eventually came to be regarded as a trusteeship with responsibilities toward the child.
 In 1839 that the Chancellor was given statutory power to award the custody of infants under seven years to the mother rather than to the father.
 Sir William Blackstone stated in his "Commentaries on the Law of England" that, under the law, the father had a natural right to his children and that the mother was "entitled to no power (over her children), but only to reverence and respect."
 Until the 19th century, American law reflected English canon law and the feudal order, and since the father completely controlled the finances, assets and property, custody ordinarily went where the money was, except in rare cases where a father had abused, abandoned or neglected the child.
 It was not until 1817, when the "Rule in Shelley's case" was adopted, which interjected the issue of parental fitness into custody cases as a major issue and also eliminated the former automatic preference for the father as custodial parent.
 By the 1920's, the maternal preference for custody in English and American law, regardless of the child's age, became as firmly fixed as the earlier paternal preference, and was encoded in statute in all 48 states.
 In 1979, the first joint custody statute was enacted in California, followed by Kansas, and Oregon. By 1991, more than 40 states had shared parenting statutes in which joint custody was either an option or preference, and most other states had recognized the concept of joint custody in case law.
 
Changes happen... they happen slowly. Today there are actions being taken in several states for Equal Parenting Time.
In order to make child custody equitable for the children, this is the only solution. Equal Parenting Time REGARDLESS of the parents sex is in the best interest of our children who are suffering at having one parent reduced to the roll of a visitor in their life. This isn't a father's issue or a mother's issue, this is a parenting issue. As parents together we can make changes.
You want to make changes? Gather the same history I have just shown you, gather the statistics on single parent households, gather the statistics on the difference between a single parent household and those families which excercise EQUAL access after divorce. Arm yourself with the information that shows what you are asking for is truly best for society as a whole.
 Learn who your Senators are, who your congressmen are, your local legislatures, who is the attorney in charge of your states bar association? That is a place to start.

Good Luck in your endeavor.
TM

[Peanutsdad]

Awww TM, I said the same thing,, you just gussied it up some.. :)


Ever get the feeling we are educated beyond the bounds of decency? LOL

[Troubledmom]

**Because the laws vary so much by state, it seems like the place to start would be to gather together within states to work on getting legislative changes.**

Actually because there is such a variance among states the place to begin would be to implement a federal law that would include presumptive EQUAL PARENTING TIME in cases where parents are no longer raising children together in the same household.
Until laws change at the highest level in our country, parents will continue to be relegated to the roll of a visitor in their children's lives when relationships fail.

TM