Alienating dad

[fldad]

What can I do about my wife alienating my 12-year-old son from me?
She has shut off her home phone so the only way I can call or get a hold of him is to call her cell. She then commences on dictating to him responses while she sit there off to the side and give him the thumbs up for being rude. She is bringing in all the things from the past that has happened between her and me and weaving it into his head and trying to drive a wedge between my son and me. On my visitation days she says he's got other plans, and doesn't make him available, Now he (with her laughing in background) has been disrespectful cursed and bad mouthed me on the phone, he, (my son) thru her cohearsing and approval (because he is 12, and Knows what he is doing is not right) now don't want to come and see me because he is afraid of my reaction. I have assured him that I don't blame him and that I just want to spend time with him, she has expressed in the past her worry that when he became of age to do so that my son would want to come and live with me (we like to do a lot of the same stuff) She was in an abusive family and her brother even killed himself a few years ago from depression she really has no family and is trying what ever she can do to hold on to the one she has (my son) by turning him against me What can I DO? I haven't seen him in a month and my court papers say 2days a week and every other weekend. I love my son very much and think this is detrimental to his well being Any help would be great! thanks

[ConcernedCP]

If you haven't seen your son in a month and the Court Orders say that you are to have visitation EOW plus 2x a week, then you should consider taking her back to court for contempt.  

[Bolivar OH]

a copy/paste from Peanutsdad

Heres a little light reading to get ya'll goin....

Tips For Getting Started
http://www.deltabravo.net/news/10-19-2000.htm

How To Hire An Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/hiring.htm

Hiring An Effective Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/effective.htm

Success Factors In Obtaining Custody
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tips.htm

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/missed-visit.htm

Suggestions When Falsely Accused
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/falseacc1.htm

Dealing With Threats Of False Allegations
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/blackmail.htm

URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/guide.htm


http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pplan3.htm

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pas-vassiliou.htm

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pas-gardner06.htm

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pas-navarre.htm

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pas-gardner01.htm

THE SPECTRUM OF PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME (PART I)
Parental Alienation Syndrome is a distinctive family response to divorce in which the child becomes aligned with one parent and preoccupied with unjustified and/or exaggerated denigration of the other target parent.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/rand01.htm - size 40kb - 20 Oct 2003
12. Mediation And Parental Alienation Syndrome by Anita Vestal
This article looks at parental alienation syndrome (PAS), which is a complex manifestation of mental and emotional abuse resulting from conflicted parents fighting for custody.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pas-vestal.htm - size 52kb - 20 Oct 2003
13. Recommendations for Dealing with Parents Who Induce a Parental Alienation Syndrome in Their Children
PAS is commonly seen in highly contested child-custody disputes. The author has described three types: mild, moderate, and severe, each of which requires special approaches by both legal and mental health professionals.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pas-gardner02.htm - size 54kb - 20 Oct 2003
14. THE SPECTRUM OF PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME (PART II)
Studies of target parents who are falsely accused of abuse report they tend to be less disturbed than their accusing counterparts.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/rand12.htm - size 53kb - 20 Oct 2003
15. THE SPECTRUM OF PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME (PART II)
Parental Alienation Syndrome is a distinctive family response to divorce in which the child becomes aligned with one parent and preoccupied with unjustified and/or exaggerated denigration of the other target parent.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/rand11.htm - size 44kb - 20 Oct 2003
16. Parental Alienation Information Archive
All the information on the SPARC site regarding Parental Alienation has been consolidated on this central reference page.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pasarchive.htm - size 17kb - 20 Oct 2003
17. THE SPECTRUM OF PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME (PART II) (cont.)
In the following case, the accused father was an officer in the military. Testimony on PAS by the defense expert provided the judge and jury with some alternative explanations as to the reasons the children accused their stepfather of abuse.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/rand13.htm - size 31kb - 20 Oct 2003
18. THE SPECTRUM OF PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME (PART I)
Parental Alienation Syndrome is a distinctive family response to divorce in which the child becomes aligned with one parent and preoccupied with unjustified and/or exaggerated denigration of the other target parent.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/rand02.htm - size 44kb - 20 Oct 2003
19. Expanding the Parameters of PAS
The newness of the parental alienation syndrome (PAS) compels its redefinition and refinement as new cases are observed and the phenomenon becomes better understood.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pas-cartwright.htm - size 32kb - 20 Oct 2003
20. PAS: How to Detect It and What to Do About It
Although parental alienation syndrome (PAS) is a familiar term, there is still a great deal of confusion and unclarity about its nature, dimensions, and, therefore, its detection.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pas-walsh2.htm - size 24kb - 20 Oct 2003




One of the first things you'll hear around here is "Document, document, document!". Having good records is *crucial*. Get yourself either the Parenting Time Tracker (PTT) at: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tracker.htm or the OPTIMAL Custody Tracking service at: http://www.parentingtime.net. The PTT is good, but the OPTIMAL service is definitely better.

[Bolivar OH]

P.S. there are three other steps you must take to insure a win of contempt.
   1. Document
   2. Document
   3. Document

In OHIO a custodial parent's willful deprivation of a noncustodial parent's visitation rights has been viewed by court as inconsistent with a child's best interests and may be the basis for awarding custody to the noncustodial parent.  

Another possible consequence of this interference may be the suspension of the noncustodial parent's obligation to pay maintenance and child support including any arrears during the period that visitation was denied.

[Peanutsdad]

Snicker,, Hey Bo....I copied most of it from posts of Brents. Welcome to the club,, keep it up ;)


Some of it I did dig and read,, mostly, the PAS links. I cant remember who it was at the time, but someone needed the information for their case and I guess Brent was outa town that weekend. I've spent  many restless nights reading the info here. It's incredible in the amount there is.


First timers can feel rather daunted by the sheer volume of articles and helpful info . I found condensing it down to what I post helps somewhat.

[Bolivar OH]

Ok from now on I will credit to Brents & Peanutsdad.

I have been on other sites and if I do a copy/paste and do not give credit "WATCH OUT"!!

Peanutsdad, also let me say Thank You for sticking around.  Even though your case is signed, your experience can greatly help others who want a relationship with there child(ren).

[Peanutsdad]

LOL, ok Bo,, but its not my work,, its all available right here on sparc.


As far as my staying,,, how could I not? Others helped my way be easier,, thats a debt that has to be paid. I pay it willingly until such a time comes as no one needs the help.

[rainbow1]

Start taping the calls. Keep a log. Check your states laws on taping phone calls. My state says as long as one person(me) knows the call is being taped it's legal and admissable. You may have grounds for a change of custody>