I need some medical advice

[tulip]

DH's latest co states that bm will have supervised visitation with kids e/o Sat and Sun (not overnight.) One phone call per day between 8am and 8pm. It also states that bm will remain clean and sober, not use any mood altering substances, including alcohol. (This does not specify when the kids are with her, it means ever.) It states that she will submit to random ua's. Doesn't specifically say that she has to provide dh with the results, but the judge DID specifically tell her in court that she has to do that.

Two weeks ago, she tested positive for meth. She has refused to give dh these results, but told him that they were positive. She was upset that it didn't measure the level. She claims that she had been off meth for over three weeks at the time. She claims she has been off it for more than a month now, but it stays in her system for 30-40 days. She has not taken any more tests, even though dh has asked her to at least three times.

I have a very hard time believing anything she says, because she has lied about this so so many times, but I want to make sure. My brother, who is a recovering meth addict, told me that an occasional user would be clean within 72 hours, and a chronic user would be clean within two weeks at the most. But he's not a medical professional, and I know some of you guys are.

[momof3]

your brother is right it will get out of ur system within 72 hours and a chronic user would be clean in almost 2 weeks.  i been through rehab and gone to na meetings and that is what they say. but hopefully i ansered your question.

[Kitty C.]

tulip, even if it did stay in her system for 30-40 days, the positive test means she WAS using, it doesn't make any difference when, she used.  That's all that counts.  Not how long it stays in the system..........

[punkinhead]

I know for a fact in dealing with my ex and his habits that what she says is true but if she were clean she would be happy to take as many ua's as possible to prove that not try to hide the facts..

[Bolivar OH]

Ask a specialist who is doing the ua's.  Your brother should know the system and who can give an answer to your question.

Who ordered this random ua?  How many have been done?
Who does get a copy of the ua's?
Who does the supervised visitation?
Why did she confess to taking a drug test and the results?

[tulip]

The judge ordered the random ua's. BM asked if she could do them at her clinic instead of court services, and the judge said "yes, but you will have to provide (dh) with the results. She did the first one at the ER, and did not give anyone a copy of the results. She has not taken anymore. She told dh that she took the test at the ER because it was the only way she could see the kids.

The supervised visitation is to be with an adult that is mutually agreed upon by both parties.

DH called the person at court services who administrates drug testing, to ask her about these claims that it stays in her system for 30-40 days, and was told meth is out in a couple days.

A friend told me yesterday, "Don't try to make sense of what a drug addicted woman does. It will only drive you crazy." I think he was right. Dh has decided to leave it up to the kids if they want to talk to her on the phone. They will not see her until she can prove she is clean and sober. He is not going to do anything more until she does.

[Bolivar OH]

I have been reading posts about separated people for a number of months.  I am saying this only to prepare you for what will probable happen in the future.

She will be taking you back to court for custody.

If you don't know already the courts are very bias against men.  If mommy wants the children, then that's what she will get. (Yea I know, somewhat sarcastic, but more true than you may know)   I hope DH as filed for child support.  Even if she doesn't pay, the arrears add up.  And the arrears may be useful in the future to show that bio-mom has not supported the children in the past how can she support them now.

[tulip]

I just don't see how she has any chance. She lied to the judge about her drug use, and the judge knows it. Many sources have told us that judges in our county are totally fed up with meth addicts and move swiftly to permanently remove parenting rights from meth addicted parents.

She signed away custody of the kids permanently to avoid appearing in court. Every atty we spoke to when WE wanted to get custody told us that when there is a permanent custody order in place, we would have to prove a serious change in circumstances or that the kids were endangered, which is very hard to do.

DH has filed for cs, and has been told by his case worker that the amount they are going to ask for is almost what he was paying her. We're just waiting for the order to get signed. That's another thing he was told by an atty, "Don't bother trying for custody if you're behind on cs." DH has never been behind. In fact during the month before custody changed, he overpaid, and now bm owes $$ back to him! She is already in arrears. She owed $242, and has paid $42 of it in 3 months.