Sole custody

[cwoolco]

I have a question and this probably has already been addressed. My boyfriend had an ugly break up with the mother of his child. So now she is very stingy with allowing him to see their 2 year old child. he goes moths without seeing him sometimes.  She threatened him with child abuse tha last time he kept the child. She said that she filed for sole custody. Is that possible since they were never married??? Also he does not pay child support but he does provide for the child.  We feel the only reason she hasn't filed for child support is because she would not be able to control the visitation. Legally what can he do without having to consult an attorney.

[patton]

What state are you in?  

Your BF needs to file for at the very least JOINT custody.  And here is where he's going to get into it if she's as vindictive as you say.

I was never married to mother of our child.  She filed thru the attorney general's office for child support and the attorney general's office set up child support and visitation.

The downside in letting the government take action here is (1) you have very little sayso in the matter (2) they give you standard or minimum visitation (3) child support is set by a system of the state.

If he's NEVER paid child support she will probably PUSH hard for back support unless she's been drawing some kind of state aid like TANIF (which the government/state will make him pay them back for)

He needs to FILE now, before he owes thousands and thousands of dollars.  Plus he'll have a LEGAL right to see the child at set times, which if she does not allow he can take her to court for contempt.

Has he had a paternity test?  If NOT he needs to do one ASAP, or the state will usually ORDER one needs to be done.

Some others will probably give you tips for getting started.

[cwoolco]

>What state are you in?  
>
>Your BF needs to file for at the very least JOINT custody.
>And here is where he's going to get into it if she's as
>vindictive as you say.
>
>I was never married to mother of our child.  She filed thru
>the attorney general's office for child support and the
>attorney general's office set up child support and
>visitation.
>
>The downside in letting the government take action here is (1)
>you have very little sayso in the matter (2) they give you
>standard or minimum visitation (3) child support is set by a
>system of the state.
>
>If he's NEVER paid child support she will probably PUSH hard
>for back support unless she's been drawing some kind of state
>aid like TANIF (which the government/state will make him pay
>them back for)
>
>He needs to FILE now, before he owes thousands and thousands
>of dollars.  Plus he'll have a LEGAL right to see the child at
>set times, which if she does not allow he can take her to
>court for contempt.
>
>Has he had a paternity test?  If NOT he needs to do one ASAP,
>or the state will usually ORDER one needs to be done.
>
>Some others will probably give you tips for getting started.
>
We live in Texas.  He is on the birth certificate and the child has his last name. I know that means he IS the legal father. Does filing for joint custody mean that he will have to go through the attorney general's office. I am some what familair with them. I am in the process of doing ALOT of research before taking any legal action against her. You have helped tremendously already.

[Bolivar OH]

If she filed for custody the party has begun.  Get ready for war.  He needs a lawyer. Period.

Here is a list of links created by Brent & PeanutsDad.

Tips For Getting Started
http://www.deltabravo.net/news/10-19-2000.htm

How To Hire An Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/hiring.htm

Hiring An Effective Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/effective.htm

Success Factors In Obtaining Custody
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tips.htm

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/missed-visit.htm

Suggestions When Falsely Accused
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/falseacc1.htm

Dealing With Threats Of False Allegations
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/blackmail.htm

URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/guide.htm


http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pplan3.htm

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pas-vassiliou.htm

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pas-gardner06.htm

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pas-navarre.htm

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pas-gardner01.htm

THE SPECTRUM OF PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME (PART I)
Parental Alienation Syndrome is a distinctive family response to divorce in which the child becomes aligned with one parent and preoccupied with unjustified and/or exaggerated denigration of the other target parent.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/rand01.htm - size 40kb - 20 Oct 2003
12. Mediation And Parental Alienation Syndrome by Anita Vestal
This article looks at parental alienation syndrome (PAS), which is a complex manifestation of mental and emotional abuse resulting from conflicted parents fighting for custody.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pas-vestal.htm - size 52kb - 20 Oct 2003
13. Recommendations for Dealing with Parents Who Induce a Parental Alienation Syndrome in Their Children
PAS is commonly seen in highly contested child-custody disputes. The author has described three types: mild, moderate, and severe, each of which requires special approaches by both legal and mental health professionals.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pas-gardner02.htm - size 54kb - 20 Oct 2003
14. THE SPECTRUM OF PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME (PART II)
Studies of target parents who are falsely accused of abuse report they tend to be less disturbed than their accusing counterparts.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/rand12.htm - size 53kb - 20 Oct 2003
15. THE SPECTRUM OF PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME (PART II)
Parental Alienation Syndrome is a distinctive family response to divorce in which the child becomes aligned with one parent and preoccupied with unjustified and/or exaggerated denigration of the other target parent.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/rand11.htm - size 44kb - 20 Oct 2003
16. Parental Alienation Information Archive
All the information on the SPARC site regarding Parental Alienation has been consolidated on this central reference page.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pasarchive.htm - size 17kb - 20 Oct 2003
17. THE SPECTRUM OF PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME (PART II) (cont.)
In the following case, the accused father was an officer in the military. Testimony on PAS by the defense expert provided the judge and jury with some alternative explanations as to the reasons the children accused their stepfather of abuse.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/rand13.htm - size 31kb - 20 Oct 2003
18. THE SPECTRUM OF PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME (PART I)
Parental Alienation Syndrome is a distinctive family response to divorce in which the child becomes aligned with one parent and preoccupied with unjustified and/or exaggerated denigration of the other target parent.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/rand02.htm - size 44kb - 20 Oct 2003
19. Expanding the Parameters of PAS
The newness of the parental alienation syndrome (PAS) compels its redefinition and refinement as new cases are observed and the phenomenon becomes better understood.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pas-cartwright.htm - size 32kb - 20 Oct 2003
20. PAS: How to Detect It and What to Do About It
Although parental alienation syndrome (PAS) is a familiar term, there is still a great deal of confusion and unclarity about its nature, dimensions, and, therefore, its detection.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pas-walsh2.htm - size 24kb - 20 Oct 2003




One of the first things you'll hear around here is "Document, document, document!". Having good records is *crucial*. Get yourself either the Parenting Time Tracker (PTT) at: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tracker.htm or the OPTIMAL Custody Tracking service at: http://www.parentingtime.net. The PTT is good, but the OPTIMAL service is definitely better.

[cwoolco]

Thanks so much for the resources!

[patton]

If the BF has not taken a paternity, TAKE ONE.  Be absolutely 100% sure, just because he signed an AOP and is on the birth certificate does not mean he is the father, and before you take on 18 years of child support and hassle, be SURE!


If she has filed for something you should have received something in the mail from the AG office.  You can call the AG office and give them your case number/cause number and they can look up and see if there is an active case.

Personally, I wish I would have had an attorney when we went before the AG office, but if you want 1,3, & 5th weekends and EOW holidays, that's about what you will get with the AG office of Texas.  You can type in Texas Standard order in your browser and that will show you the basic standard order the AG office will stick you with.

Now if there are specifics in the order, you will probably need an attorney.  If you are not the custodial parent you will pay child support (20% of income for one child) , medical support, and do all the traveling to pick up and return child. As far as I know the AG office does not ask for SOLE custody of one parent, they push the JOINT custody issue, with one parent having primary residental.

Be sure you get into the order if possible, a move away clause, or the custodial parent can pick up and move whereever.

Be sure to read each paragraph carefully, YOU have to live with this the next 18 years.........Think in the FUTURE, down the road a piece.  

Give in on little things, stick to your guns on big things.  What county are you in?  Lots of people on here from Texas that could give you some specifics on the different counties and Judges in your area if possible.

If you are on MSN IM me at deesj1  or if you are on AOL IM me at pattonj1951

 

[cwoolco]

I am in Dallas county.  Yeah I knew about AG pushing the joint custody issue. I don't have AIM or MSN only Yahoo IM. And I use that primarily at work.  Thanks so much for all the help and advice you have given. It helps tremendously.

[Peanutsdad]

If you are in Dallas county,, heres a excellant father friendly attorney:

B.J. Thompson  972-726-0535