Violation of Court order

[Joanne1979]

I need help everyone. My husband has a wonderul son named Dante, who he has joint custody of. We have lots of issues with his son's mother one being she wants everything done her way all the time. Even when it is not in the best interest of her son. She has even gone so far as to disappear with his son for months at a time just because she didn't like how my husband talked to her.

Anyways, we have been to court many times and had to set everything in stone in a court order on when we talk to him on the phone (when he is at his mothers house) and when we pick up and drop him off. She has violated this order once before and we paid alot of money to go to court for her to just geta slap on the wrist.

She just recently (yesterday) didn't drop his son off at the appointed time at the transfer center for my husband to pick him up. Now what do we do. Do we have to file contempt papers again? Can we call the cops and have them force her to return him. How can we stop this stuff from happening in the future? Please help. I love my husband and my stepson and want to see this ended once and for all. She does these things just to be spiteful.

Thanks Joanne

[Peanutsdad]

Heres a little suggestion:

If you filed contempt previously, then you still have copies of that motion. Adapt it to this episode and file it yourselves, thus saving legal fees.


The only way to stop it, is to continue filing contempt each and every time. I promise you, the judge will get sick of seeing her.

[Joanne1979]

Thank you very much for the response.  I spoke with my husband and he said that is prob his only route right now.  Thanks again and wish us luck!

Joanne

[Peanutsdad]

Good luck.


hehehehehe,, just for giggles,, get a look at how booked up that judges docket is. THEN you'll understand why he/she will get sick of seeing this.

[wendl]

Each county is different as to if the police will become involved, in my county the cops are great and help see that the parents exchange the kids per court orders, other counties in my State refuse to do this.

From what others have said you could file a report and keep taking her back to court, until the judge/commssioner does something.

:)

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[LostDad]

My heart goes out to you.  My ex violates our court order twice a month with about 1/3 of my visitations going unexercised because she is a no-show.  If you ex is mentally sane and normally thinks logically rather than emotionally, I think going for contempt is likely your only approach if you want to stop the behavior.  It will point out the behavior...hopefully they will get the clue.

Another approach is to only worry about the big issues.  If you taken him/her to court on every little thing it may just upset them and cause more strife.

However, we took a slightly different approach since my ex is insane and vindictive and incapable of buying a clue.  It's based on the old saying "Give them enough rope to hang themself."  Essentially it's a painful, long-term plan that allows and even sometimes encourages the other parent to live up to the full poor-behavior potential.  The key is to have excellent documentation with lots of credible third-parties involved.  When you have a good case of no-shows & other violations you can batch them all up at once and ask for a change of custody or for significantly more time.

I think that it will allow the judge to see a long-standing pattern rather than periodic disconnected minor violations.  Seems to work fairly well as everytime we go to court with a long list of violations, my ex is forced to negotate on my terms because she doesn't want to go in front of the judge.  Your results may vary of course...

[msme]

You might also try to get the judge to write in the order that any police officer is to enforce the order. I have heard of this being done & working.

You never get a second chance to make a first impression!