Vent....

[oklahoma]

We had our 5th supervised visit with SDs.  BM stipulated 6 and then we'll "look at things."  We ended up having a family get-together with my husband's family, and BM **allowed** SDs to come.  BM's mom is supposed to supervise the visits, so she came along too--after much whining and complaining.  (We told BM and her mom when we set the visit up originally that we would plan on 2:00 pm, so when we called to say "Meet us at 2:00 pm," she wanted a more specific time?!?!)

Anyway, we had a lot of fun.  SDs love being with our family and especially with their dad.  You could just see OSD (11 years old) just craved for that daddy-daughter relationship--he threw her in the pool, she pretended to be all upset, etc. and then asked him to throw her in again....  At the end of the visit, BM's mom mentioned to my husband that it seemed like such a loving atmosphere and that she didn't think they needed to continue the supervised visits.

Grrrrr!!!!  It's aggravating on so many levels--first and foremost the fact that NOTHING has changed!  My husband parents his children exactly the same way as he did two years ago when this all began, and yet somehow BM and her mom have somehow deluded themselves (and SDs) into thinking that he has changed for the better and it is "safe" for them to be with us now.

Then to hear a comment about "loving atmospheres" from a lady who abandoned her own children on multiple occasions, and who was found       and drunk by her teenage daughters on numerous occasions.  Incredible what the family "justice" system has done to my family!

We probably will still have to do the one more supervised visit.  Then we will probably have to wait longer for BM to "write a letter"--she's not the brightest--it took her a couple weeks to write a letter saying we could start supervised visits in the first place.  She's totally cooperative when she speaks to my husband on her own, but if anyone else is around, including me, she plays the victim.  At least we are on the tail-end of this whole big mess.  My husband just wants to get them in our home in time to go to a college football game with him:)  And I have a deep belief that BM (and her mom) will come to know, if nopt in this life then in the life to come, that they really screwed up.......

[stepmomtwo1]

I had to laugh when you said she needed a "more specific time" when you told her 2:00 p.m.  Maybe you should have told her "When the big hand is on the twelve and the little hand is on the 2 is when we want to meet.  Hummm might still be a little too confusing for her.

I guess I don't understand why she is able to decide on supervised visits but it sounds like things are going to be better soon.

It's common knowledge that our court system has no clue about families and what is for the best. I think if they put step moms in charge things might just work out. I know my step mom had great ideas and I'd have loved for her to have the first say instead of my parents who were too busy fighting after they divorced.

[joni]

You have to learn to emotionally disengage from the situation so you don't take it so personally and so that you don't drive yourself crazy for the rest of your life.  

Like it or not, this probably won't get any better....it's always going to be something.  We've been going through this for over four years now and it doesn't get better...there's always going to be something that this BM will try to interfere with or sabotage.

Ours too started with supervised visitations.  We now have the EOW and extended during the summer.  The BM always finds some wrench to throw in our cog...during our visitation time....making us miserable.