father accused of sexual exploitation....follow up

[darrell]

Well, I got a lawyer to deal with CPS - she saw through the accusation right away and called it extreme PAS.  She will assist me with dealing with CPS - who seem to be dragging ass since I got the lawyer.

The order of protection is in effect until April 8th - we will probably continue that until after CPS leaves - then we are filing for custody.

So, I need ideas of how to arrange our journal - it doenst have lots of information in it but some and need ideas of how to make it useful to the attorney.  She has the rough copy and all our emails (which are bad for both sides - she uses the kids and we were just asses to her - hindsight 20/20 - lol)

Anyway - we are waiting for CPS to leave - the accusations were made while we have been fighting about visitation -  had threatened the ex with a change in custody if she didnt comply - seems she found a way to not comply by making accusations.

Any links or suggestions would be appreciated.


Thanks

[Peanutsdad]

It sounds as if you are already doing all you can. Trust me, the courts see it all,, both sides acting like asses,, is nothing new to them LOL.

What I WOULD do, is absolutely NOT respond like an ass any longer. Your credibility is already damaged in the courts eyes with the emails, and they will see any change currently as a "being a good boy" for court.

The difference is, you behaving, and her continuing to act out, shows an ability on your part to show restraint.

[darrell]

Oh yeah - no more stupid emails - it was only one month of arguements but still.... will freely admit poor judgement and not happen again.

Cant have any contact now anyway - with OP in place.

[DecentDad]

Hey Darrell,

If you like this attorney (I assume criminal defense), I'd ask him/her for a referral to a family law attorney who may have experience in false abuse custody changes.

Yeah, all you can do is get your ducks in a row right now.  Forgive yourself for giving in to very normal (but unproductive) ass-being, and just let her be the idiot now.

It could be months before you get a custody change hearing, so that's plenty of time to demonstrate not just being a "good boy" but being World's Best Dad.

Document everything from here on out.

I've found with my ex that I avoid those stupid circles of communication by given her a polite, reasonable request or question, and outlining my consequential action if she doesn't respond within X days or if we disagree.

That way, you only need one letter per topic.

AND... when the insults come, I just take them as compliments that she's not feeling confident in her position and has to resort to that.  So I ignore them and smile.

"Dear Ex,

I'm planning on picking up Child at 5pm on April 5 at Location.  Please have child dressed and ready.

If I don't hear from you by April 3, I'll assume you agree.  If you don't agree, or if you fail to show up, I'll need to approach the court for resolution.  I hope we can avoid returning to court on basic issues.

Also, to ensure there is accurate documention of our conversations, please be aware that I'll be recording all future exchanges.  Please don't say anything that you don't wish to be recorded.

Sincerely,

Me"


So, no matter her response, you no longer have a need to correspond on this topic.  You totally kill her desire to engage.  :)

Regardless of my two cents, you're handling the sexual misbehavior accusation like a champ.  Most would be the victim, so kudos!

DD

[darrell]

Actually at this point it is the family lawyer we are going through - she has more experience with CPS and seems to know what to do about the investigation - (the criminal I started with only knows what to do IF actual charges are filed - we arent there yet (and hope we wont get there - at this point it is an accusation from my 13 yr old and ex - he goes to couselors and the school has been very involved with him and nothing of this sort ever came out there - so.... we are just waiting).

The lawyer has suggested it could take 6 - 9 months for a custody thing to get resolved so.... trying to get organized.


Thanks!

[Brent]

>So, I need ideas of how to arrange our journal - it doenst
>have lots of information in it but some and need ideas of how
>to make it useful to the attorney.  

Try this:

Tips On Keeping Documentation
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tips1.htm

Another way of keeping documentation: //www.parentingtime.net

[wendl]

Darrell,
Keep documenting, good and bad things, just put the time date and what happened.

6-9 months isn't long dh filed for custody in 2/2002 and trial is still 2 months away.

Read everything you can and good luck.