BM will not follow decree 1 bit

[Stressin Out]

Looking for into and how to handle a BM who refuses to follow her divorce decree / visitation order.  Can't continue to call the police for assistance cause the kids think I'm picking on the BM.  Tryed emailing her, mailing her certified letter and still NO response to date.  I've been divorced for 2+ years yet separated for 4+ years and remarried for a almost 2 years.  The last email I got from the BM discussed the fact that I suggested abortion 6 years ago.  Since then, I've been the best darn father any kids could want.  With her bringing this up, I'm looking at is as though the BM still has issues from the divorce and discussing abortion is her only recourse.  Any suggestions????

Also, every attorney that I've talked to once the retainer of $1500.+ upfront.  Anyone know of any good attorneys that will take payment as we go?  Once we can prove the BM has broken the decree, the decree states that the other party (in this case, the BM) must pay all of my court cost.

[patton]

Unfortunately, you are probably going to have to pay the retainer up front, to get a CONTEMPT of the COURT ORDER in court.

I filed 6 CONTEMPTS on ex and won five of them, should have won the 6th one, but couldn't locate paperwork right then, as ex lied about that one, but what the heck, 5 CONTEMPTS are good!.  Ex was ordered to pay attorney fees, and was put on 5 years probation.

List each VIOLATION separately

Collect all evidence you have for each violation and put that in a folder or something with the violation

Judges HATE visitation VIOLATIONS that appear to happen around all holidays, so if this is the case, use these up front, to show a pattern!

Good luck, as my ex thought she was above the law and the court order also..........still does to some extent and I'm the sole custodial parent now.

[Stressin Out]

WOW Patton, congratulations.

I do keep tight documentation but I do need to color code the offenses right, for easy access during trial?

BM doesn't really play with Holidays yet she plays with every other day on the calender.  I have joint w/ liberal visitation yet the BM doesn't allow me to exercise my parental rights.  I've though about going to the school and just picking me kids up after "notifying" her weeks prior but I know what she'll do.  She'll either not take the kids to school that day OR advise the school that I've treaten to remove the kids and request that the school not allow me to pick them up.  I don't want to put that "teaste" in the school's mouth.  

I'm trying to pick up a second job just to gather some cash to put down on a retainer but in doing so, employers are asking if a Support Order is in effect and they'll take funds out of the second check to pay the BM for support which I do not think is fair.  To date, she gets $1k monthly and live at home with her parents while holding two college degrees, now that's BS.

[patton]

The more you have "prepared" for your attorney the less it will cost you.  You do the leg work as much as possible.  Get everything organized, Violation #1, Violation #2, etc. etc.  I did mine in date order over a two year period...and most were around some type of holiday.

You need to get SET times, when I was the NCP I had the following:

1st, 3rd, 5th weekends of each month
Every other Holiday (Christmas break was split was EOW each year)
42 days in summer (we live 100 miles apart)
every spring break (we live 100 miles apart)

Now that I'm CP she has the same visitation schedule, except she does not exercise all the times.

P.S. Right now I have 39 CONTEMPTS against her in a one year period!, but most are petty stuff.  The CSE just charged her with 4 CONTEMPTS of non payment of child support and in she goes back to court in Dec 17 and if she has not paid $500 in arrears she is to be arrested that day, per the court order, and spend 180 days in jail.  I don't agree a lot with that decision, why not let her do a work release program as to not lose her job!

[MYSONSDAD]

I have a problem getting the Police to file a report. They say it is civil and won't get involved. Bring someone with you that will testify in court. Camcorder exchanges with her denying you.

I made up a notebook binder for the Judge, indexed the pages, using different colors. Police reports, maps on distance, and so on. I catagorize everything individully. Also have color pocket folders with pictures and other documentation. If I am asked for anything in court, I have it within 2 seconds tops. But keep all folders in their own catagory.

I use red for critical stuff, green for money issues, blue for medical and so on. You know what your going for in a glance.

Also use a calendar on-line that changes font colors, you want graphics for court. I also use the Optimal for documentation and their graphics are wonderful.

"Children learn what they live"

[MYSONSDAD]

Another way to llok at it. If you pulled this, you would serve time, no doubts...

"Children learn what they live"

[Stressin Out]

Love the quote.

I too have experienced that same response from the police in my area.  I live in Norfolk Virginia yet was divorced in Virginia Beach.

Sounds like you really had your stuff in order, I thought I did until reading your message.  I use the Parent Tracker spreadsheet that SPARC's has.  I've been using it for two years now.

What do you think about using Outlook calender or would you recommend so other type of calender software?

[Stepmomnow]

If your divorce decree just gives you "liberal visitation", then it is not specific enough to set you up for contempt.  You ahve to go back to court to get specific dates, times and travel arrangements in order to get contempt for denied visitation.  It sounds like you try to set up visitation and she just egnores you.  

[Stressin Out]

Your assumption is correct.  The good thing is that I send half my letter certified and even leave half my voicemail messages of her Sprint phone which has a feature that will allow me to select options, such as a "heard" receipt.  I get noticed of the date and time BM hears my messages.

In the meantime, any suggestions of software I should / could use to make my case easier?

[MYSONSDAD]

Neat trick on the phone issue, I like that...

Several good Parenting Plans on this site, work on up that fits your needs. Ask for more then what you have now.