Grandparent visitation, and sibling visitation, and his ex is driving me nuts, oh my

[whippertizzy]

Anyone have any advice I can pass on to my mother in law. She is going to retain a lawyer and ask for some visitation rights to her grandchildren.  

Since my child has yet to be born, obviously the children won't be visiting him in utero or anything. But when he gets older CP has already told me she wants her children having nothing to do with me or my child. If my child is at my mother in laws, and her children are there, can she take her kids away.(assuming granma gets some rights)

Geez this gets worse and worse. His job called and informed me that his ex has been calling them several times a day trying to get life insurance info. His Doctors office called me because she has been calling them several times a day. They wanted to know if I would release records to her.  A couple other places called all with the same thing, her trying to  get info that is none of her business.  I am trying to keep it all together, because I am due in a month and I don't want this child being born into a mess.

I am trying to straighten out their backtax mess. Actually I really don't have to, because DH is gone, it is soley her back tax mess now. But when it comes time to file taxes it would be really nice if that money didn't go to a mess that she could clear up by taking in ONE FREAKING PIECE OF INFO INTO. Since the whole bill is her now, I suspect it was probably cleared up yesterday, but you never know. She is spiteful enough to let it keep going just to get his last but of tax money in on it. What really cracked me up is when DH was alive, The IRS said there wasn't much they could do about her not filing, and not paying the bill too. DH had been making all the payments. Now that DH is gone, The IRS jumped all over it, and told me very seriously that it was fraud, and she could get into alot of trouble for not filing taxes since 99. Wish they cared when DH was around to see it :(

[Kitty C.]

WT, you really need to let some of these things go, or it is going to tax you emotionally and physically too much, what with the baby coming.  She is obviously making a total nuisance of herself, not only to you but to many others as well.  Get an atty. NOW to get her reined in.  You need to delegate someone to get a hold on this for you.

Let the IRS take her to task.  Yes, it's unfortunately that they didn't do something before now, but they ARE doing something now...better late then never.  You do not need to help the situation, it's not your responsibility.  Let go of what you can and should let go.  For the sake of you and your baby.

As for grandparent visitation, I do know that there are some states that have laws or statutes regarding it, but I'm unfamiliar as to which ones and whether they're positive or negative.  Only an atty. can help you with that, as well.

I'm very worried about you, WT.  It's a strong possibility that you could go into premature labor with all this stress.....it is something you DO not need right now.  Find an atty. to deal with all the ex's BS, then contact your DH's old employer and whomever else she's been trying to pilfer info from and tell them that if she calls again, refer her to your atty.  DO NOT take any more direct calls from her, except to tell her that ALL communication will take place thru your atty.

And if you have to, file charges on the *itch, for harrassment and anything else you can legally come up with.  An atty. can help you with this, too.  Taking advantage or harrassing those in a vulnerable position, such as yourself in dealing with your spouse's death, can have added consequences in some states.

Bottom line is that you do NOT have to deal with all this BS on your own.  And you SHOULDN'T.  This *itch needs to be put in her place and it's obvious that the only thing she will listen to is someone in authority over her, only because she has no choice.  But let someone do it who has the means to see it thru for you and to take the emotional stress of you having to deal with it away from you.

And keep coming back, WT.  I'm so worried about you!   You have a LOT of friends here, too.  Let us know how you're doing, okay?

[MYSONSDAD]

I could not agree more with Kitty C. Let the attorney take the blunt of her crap and you go on with your baby. Let that b!tch hang herself.

Your first priority is the baby and I think granny should go for Grandparents rights. GOOD FOR HER! When she has them established, her time with them is just that, HER TIME. IF IT MEANS HAVING THE BABY AND YOU THERE, THEN SO BE IT. Nothing she can do. B!tch cannot tell her what to do with her grandchildren.

Have to laugh about the IRS, what goes around, comes around!

[whippertizzy]

If it wasn't happening to me this would almost be comical.  I just got off the phone with his job a few minutes ago.  I am kinda shady on the details but they think she just called pretending to be me. I deal with one lady soley, and she knows who I am and my voice.(didn't tell the ex nada) But any paperwork or checks or anything like that they are only going to release to me with me showing up and identification. She has called so many times even the job is sick of her. What the heck is wrong with this woman? I don't even know what kind of lawyer to get for this!

[Kitty C.]

All I can recommend is either ask the atty. you used (if you had one) in your custody disputes, and ask for a referral if he/she can't take it on.  I'd lean more towards a personal injury atty., but if you're not on track, they'll tell you what type you need.  

Thank God you're working so closely with his work!  And that they are willing to stick up for you as well!

This woman is mentally ill, she doesn't have to have a reason and it does NOT have to make sense, at least to anyone else. It makes sense only to her, in some delusional fashion, and that's ALL that matters to her.  Don't bother trying to figure her out, as it will drive you batty!

Who knows, put a bug in the ear of someone at his work....there's a possibility that THEY would be willing to tell her to kiss off or they will file harrassment charges!

[Stepmomnow]

Hi Lizzy

You need to get a good probate attorney (should be in the phone book) or an estate planning attorney and tell him to get a restraining order against ex immediately, if not sooner.  

It sounds like the ex is letting her "grief" and anxiety go into over drive but there is absolutely no reason to allow her to harass everyone.  Use your condition to get protection for yourself and your child.

Good Luck

[catherine]

You don't need this right now.  Not at all.

[4honor]

You need one to go after any malpractice suit. They usually pay a settlement rather than try to defend a full blown lawsuit. $25K in attorney's fees goes fast and their insurance will likely pump out $25-30K without batting an eye, whether there is merit or not.

As for the crap that BM is pulling... ask a good attorney for a referral. They will pint you in the right direction. Paying for their services by the hour would be good. 2-3 hours of work would likely put BM in her place.

[Genie]

I would recommend getting a Probate lawyer for sure b/c that is going to be needed to handle the estate.  

And I would get a restraining order against her to for harrassment to you and his work.

What state are you in if you don't mind me asking?  This will help in knowing how to handle some situations.  I'm sorry if you have said this somewhere else.