New to this msg. board need advice, this is long.

[DavidW]

Hello,
My name is David and I am new to this board.  I wanted to share my situtation with you and get some advice.  For the past six years I have had joint custody of my daughter and my visitation was an agreed order of split 50/50.  I had her for seven days and her mother had her for seven days.  In July I filed a petition for primary custodian of my daughter because I felt my ex was not making rational decision for my daughter's welfare.  The last straw was when she put our daughter in a car with a man she barely knew so this man could take her across the street to get some lunch. (ex is a manager of a car wash and she took our daughter to work with her)  During my daughter's ride across the street this man's penis became exposed.  An investigation was done and the investigater ruled it as an accident.  I have been able to get a copy of the tapes where they talked to my daughter about what happened.  I do not see how it could be an accident.  Anyway, I petitioned the court for a change of primary custody.  Our first hearing lasted 5 mins.  It was ordered that we receive a copy of the tapes of my daughter's interview with the police and with the social worker and that took over 3 months to get.  My lawyer did not inform me of a new hearing date that had been set by her lawyer and I did not show up for the hearing and guess what happened...  They raised my child support and took my seven day a week visitation away and replaced it with every other weekend and two hours every other Thursday.  I was livid when I went to pick my child up at 4 and was told that I could not have her until 6 and that my visitation had been changed.  I called my lawyer and told him he was about to be sued.  He said he would fix it.  We had another hearing today and the commisioner let me have my seven days a week back until the next hearing where he stated that he would change it back the other way and that he felt it was not healthy for a child to be at one place for seven day and the other for seven days.  My daughter has done this for 6 years and she is devastated.  I am married and have been for four years and my wife has two daughters that live with us.  My ex wife keeps taking my wife's kids.  She picks them up at places and then brings them home.  The last time she did this she picked them and my daughter up and had them get on the trunk of her car and drove them 4 blocks at an approximate speed of 20 to 25 miles per hour.  My wife saw her and it took every ounce of will power not to do something to my ex.  She filed charges and my ex is now facing 3 felony counts of wanton endangerment and 2 counts of custodial interference.  The Grand Jury indited her.
I petitioned the courts because I was worried for my daughter's welfare and now I am the one who is losing my time with my daughter for no reason.  My wife fired my lawyer today and told him to give us back our tapes and info we had given him and that she was going to hire another attorney from out of our county.  Any suggestions or comments would be great.  Sorry this is so long.
David

[smtotwo]

I feel for you!!  This sounds like a nightmare.  
I don't know what to tell you other than we'll pray for you and your family.

I'm the second wife and maybe your wife would like to post on our second families board.

And maybe you could separate your posts into paragraphs so they'd be easier to read.  Things run together after awhile.

Good Luck.

[MixedBag]

It sounds like you (and your wife) are already doing what should be done.

Keep after the safety of your child!

[DavidW]

Thanks for your input.  I have made an appointment with a lawyer that i found off of this board.  

I will meet with her on Monday.  I want to hire a psychologist to testify that if they change the way our visitation is that it would have a bad affect on my daughter.  I dont know if that will help or not.  

I live two streets away from her mother's house.  This is how we have shared visitation for 6 years.  She is used to being with her step-sisters and if they change it then she will not get to see them either.  
If things dont go our way in the next hearing then they need to get ready to go back to court.  I will not give up.

David

[backwardsbike]

Good for you David.  That" I will not give up" attitude is exactly what you need.  
I used to trust the legal system.  That was until I got involved with it.  I have found it to be a system where people who do not know you or your family are licensed to make life changing decisons which often have catestrophic effects on your life and that of your loved ones.  It is not necessary for these decison makers to be either rational or accountable.  They just arbitrairly make these decisons without ever looking back and leave you to cope with it all.

You have found a wonderful resource for information and support.  Good luck and hang in there.  Welcome to SPARC.