Reasonable and Generous Visitation

[Sunshine]

Hello everybody!
Can someone explain what is 'reasonable and generous' visitation. I am legally separated with sole custody and sole guardianship, one child age 4yrs.  My attorney did not respect my wish for a clear definition of visitation schedule. Said it would be better to have it that way, which causes pretty much trouble for us as the father of the child (with physical and mental abusive history) is knocking at the door all the time and interupting our childs and my routine.  How much would you consider as reasonable and generous?
Thanks for sharing your ideas.

[wendl]

in my opinion reasonable and generous visitation should NOT be used in visitation orders. Now you as a parent what do you feel would be reasonable if the tables were turned?? To be a good parent both parents need to try to work together and if one chooses not to then a set parenting plan would be best.

If you want it to be specific times then file a motion in court go to court and have the judge order it.

Now if your ex has been physical or mental with your child then I would request he be evaluated, if he was physical or mental towards you, that doesn't mean he will be this way towards your child.

So the only way around this is to have a set schedule for dad and child to see eachother, this was they will work into a routine and things should be easier for all parties invovled mainly the child.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[MYSONSDAD]

You will need to contact your attorney and get this modified with a parenting plan. Let attorney know there is conflict and the current order is not working out for your child.

this might help to clarify what you now have in place. Do a search at the top of this website for parenting plans. The more you can get covered in your situation, the easier it will be concerning time frames.

Avoiding Parenting Plan Mistakes
We see divorced couples going back to court frequently for post-divorce litigation and mediation. Often, what brings them back are errors, omissions and oversights in their original parenting plans. Listed in this article are some of the most common mistakes and oversights related to parenting plans.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pplanmistakes.htm - size 8kb - 20 Oct 2003



 
"Children learn what they live"

[FLMom]

I have a question. Is "this physical and mental abusive history" documented? Was this something that was brought up at trial and is what led to you having sole custody and guardianship? Or was this something you asked for and that ex did not fight you for at the time of the divorce? Is this history something that is backed by evidence such as arrest for domestic violence or child abuse?

Yes, it is up to you to help foster a healthy relationship between father and child, and you've pretty much got all of the marbles now. If a Judge ruled using evidence presented you're going to have to go back to court and get supervised visitation set up. I know in the state that I live in "sole" custody is reserved for when a court perceives a danger to a child and that's about it. Supervised visitation is sometimes overused by a parent that wants to keep a stranglehold on an ex's relationship with their child, but in other cases of TRUE abuse it's a way for a parent to rebuild a relationship gradually.

Now, if the other is true and this is not something that a Judge ordered due to evidence presented then it's up to you to go back to your lawyer and have a stipulated agreement added. This is an addendum to your Final Judgement which can detail a parenting plan that has specific dates, times and holidays listed. The "norm" in most cases is every other weekend and a few hours one afternoon a week, but in the eyes of most that is only convenient for the custodial parent. It's never enough time to adequately have a relationship with a child. If you're really serious about your ex being in your child's life your timeline will be closer to 50/50, especially after the child goes to school.

On a sidenote, I think lawyers do this on purpose. They leave loose strings and know that eventually you'll have to come back to them and have them tie the knots. If this is something that you originally asked your lawyer to do and she neglected to abide by your wishes, you should not have to pay extra monies to her for her to do what she should have done in the first place.

Good Luck,
FLMom

[Sunshine]

thanks for responding to my issue.
the abusive history was documented as I reported to public health nurse, involved ministry for children and family, social worker, filed police report and spent some time in a womens shelter as I was a new immigrant and have no familiy/relatives here. I believe this was enough evidence for the judge that I received sole custody and guardianship, I should mention that I am residing in Canada so the institutions might have different names here than in the US.

My question about reasonable and generous visitation was because I am very afraid. I just read a case about a women in Toronto in the same situation like me who had to go to jail for 60 days because she denied here Ex visitation once. So my understanding is, that you have to have your door open at all times when it pleases your Ex. And that is exactly what is happening here.

[wendl]

Well I would be going back to court and getting visitation spelled out clearly so their is no misunderstandings about visitation.

Also if this abuse was towards your child, I would request supervised visitation.

But the more specific your court order is the less times you will be going back to court to have it changed.

Good luck.
**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**