It's been a while since I've been here...

[DeterminedForTheBest]

Well, here's the latest- I think it would be more comprehendable if it was in the "time line," form.

10/03- The Court Clinic (the evaluation) recommended that DH attain primary custody of SD, and that BB get one overnight a week. DH declined that offer (stupid, he knows now) and said he wanted what was best for Cecilia, and agreed to let BB keep primary custody, if she would agree to a few of his stipulations. A parenting plan was established. Vistation would occur 3 on, 1 off, on "weekends." Weekends would be Friday from 12:00 p.m. until Sunday at 3:00 p.m. The parenting plan also included that SD would get counseling, per DH's request to help cope with this turmoltuos situation. Also, it was in the parenting plan that SD stay in daycare, since BB was working full-time. BB's mother is a psychotic spawn of Satan, and that's who SD was staying with while BB worked. BB took SD to maybe a months worth of counseling, with one visit per week, then stopped taking her siting that "her insurance wouldn't cover the visits." Also, after 3 months of SD being in the daycare, she took her out of it, siting "she didn't need to be in daycare anymore since she (BB) wasn't working." Both decisions were made without DH's consent, a requirement of the parenting plan. When the parenting plan was created, signed and ordered, BB was living by herself, and with SD, supposedly. BB moved back in with her parents, without DH's consent, a requirement of the parenting plan. You know the usual "won't make any decisions regarding the child, without the other parents consent," wording.

4/04- DH decided to take a "break," from visitation in an attempt to have SD potty-trained for preschool in the fall of '04. Yet again, one of his intentions to do good, for SD. His intentions were to have visitation stopped during the summer, and then resume them in the fall, at the same time she started preschool. His student attorney royally screwed him on this one. Instead of putting in the motion "up to 6 months," which is what DH had told him, he put in a solid 6 months of suspended visitation. We didn't find this out until we tried to resume visitation in September of '04. Infact that motion suspending visitation, was never viewed, or approved by DH, or signed.

Fast forward to now, we have yet to see SD since 4/03. BB and her attorney are playing "stupid." The have stated that they're going to require an "integration," period. Which means DH will have to start out having supervised visitation. However, another ironic thing, is BB refuses to pay for ANY of the supervision fees. She said that if DH wants to have visitation with SD, that he will either pay 100% of the supervision fees, or the visitations can occur at a battered womans shelter, in BB's town, which will be free of charge. Since BB is claiming that DH abused her. DH said that he wanted to see SD for Christmas, even if it was supervised, out of desperation. Since our attorney is a student attorney, being supervised by a professor, the Law Clinic closes for the holidays. In the letter requesting some sort of visitation for Christmas, the attorney made clear that their offices would be closed from X date to X date, for the winter break, and to make sure to return their correspondence prior to those dates. BB's attorney sent an offer AFTER the day it closed. I know it's just an attempt to make it look like they're trying to cooperate, knowing well that there couldn't be visitation, since they Law Clinic was already CLOSED!

We have a court date 1/18/05, that I am immensly looking forward to. I hope the judge tears her a new arse hole. However, we doubtfully will be that lucky. Maybe at least we'll be able to start seeing SD again. DH has said that he'll settle for no less than 50/50 split of the supervision fees, since BB's requiring them.

All of this mess has only confirmed my opinions that BB is PASing SD, and using any utility she can to remove DH from SD's life.

I wished we could get her for custodial interferrence. It'd never fly though.

[olanna]

Why in the world would you stop seeing your child for an entire summer so the other parent could teach the child to use the toilet?  

[Stepmom0418]

 By chance are you in the state of Iowa??

The reason I ask is because my DH too has a student attorney and we are dealing with a Law Clinic. But so far DH has had excellent attorneys. Just wondering if we are dealing with the same place?

[MYSONSDAD]

Did your DH sign this agreement? My thought would be to read it first.

And sorry, 6 months to potty train? My son is 2 and he was fully trained in a week. Sound like someone pulled his chain on this one.

And I see why they would play stupid, they are trying to discredit your DH and go for supervised. It will make things much harder on your DH.

Have you been documenting all of this? I would keep all documentation regarding his trying to get visitation, phone records, things like that. Has he ever made an attempt to get her?
 
"Children learn what they live"

[olanna]

"And sorry, 6 months to potty train? My son is 2 and he was fully trained in a week. Sound like someone pulled his chain on this one."

Would you have bought that?  Sorry, but this is one is on Dad.  Playing stupid now might be the case, but I don't think Dad was brilliant, either.

[DeterminedForTheBest]

That's what I'm saying, NOT 6 months, DH was unsure of how long it would take to potty-train SD, and since BB might as well be mentally handicapped, that would only exacerbate the process.

DH wanted it to say UP TO 6 months. Which is law student (no we're not in Iowa) screwed up, by not letting DH review the motion, or aprrove it.

BB had been attempting to potty-train SD for months, and was a miserable failure, like she always is, in her ventures in motherhood.

DH's mistake was getting involved with the Law Clinic period, they've done nothing but f*ck things up, thus far.

The document should have read "once the child is potty-trained visits will resume the following weekend," though BB would have just lied saying she wasn't done potty training.

[MYSONSDAD]

No way! He should have taken custody and ran. Now he will have to play by their rules. No fun place to be.

I can see where they are going playing stupid...

Get a Family Law attorney quick!
 
"Children learn what they live"

[olanna]

I still say that there should be NO wording that would keep either parent from a child during toilet training.  One parent can do just as good a job as the other, and the reality is that the child will be using the toilet at BOTH houses, so it's even more important that the child learn to use the loo at both homes.

Next thing will be wording about the child can't visit with Dad until she learns to wipe her butt.  Ya know, if it seems ridiculous, it probably is. Your DH doesn't need a law clinic to tell him how to parent.

[DeterminedForTheBest]

Now that is something that we bang our head daily on the wall for, we should have taken custody, we should have, but DH was trying to make things easier on SD. I don't know where his reasoning was coming from, but that was his decision.

If  we had the money for a Family Law attorney, we wouldn't be in this Law Clinic that doesn't know their arse holes from a hole in the ground. *sigh*

[olanna]

Do it pro se and get out of there.