denied visitation again .........

[Stepmom0418]

Ok heres the story ........

Last weekend we had SS because of a week that we got to spend with him for Christmas break. SS was returned to BM on Sunday. DH told BM that this weekend is his normal weekend because it is his weekend off and that he would see her Friday for the pick up at 8PM as the CO states.BM said ok.

We went to pick up SS and they never showed up.

CO reads DH gets every other weekend starting the weekend of April 2, 2004.

DH final hearing is on Feb 9th and 10th along with several contempts on BM to be heard for denial of visitation on the same day. (i think there is like 12 or 13 of them) Should we do as we normally do and send a letter in refrence to this denial and if so how would you word it?

DH and I are so angry that everything that we come up with seems.......well like something that we would not want a judge to read! Dealing with her not following the CO for so long is starting to weigh on us. DH has been denied 35 days of contact with SS since April of 2004 when this temp order was entered.

Any ideas?

[wendl]

I would write a letter:

Dear XX,

I came to pick up the kids on Friday and no one was here. Per the court order this was my weekend for visitation(see attached visition order). I am sorry you feel that this was your weekend but as you can see in the court order holidays take precedence over normal visitation.

Please inform me on when you will be giving me the make up time for the weekend of xx date when I was denied my visition time with our children

Please respond within 10 days.

Sincerely,
xx



**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[Stepmom0418]

Hey Wendl that is great!! I am so bitter over all of this that for the life of me I couldnt come up with anything! I was so frusterated when i posted that I had to just get off the computer and take a break from it all.

BM has denied so much time that for us it is starting to be a normal thing but we still get angry and the pain is still there. I just couldnt put aside the pain and anger to get the letter typed!! Thank you very much!

[smtotwo]

letter for DH to send psychomommy.  SHe denied his week at x-mas and last weekend.

Thanks Again.

I was also sooo angry that coming up with a diplomatic letter just wasn't working!!

[wendl]

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[LizaLou1]

The SPARC archive has sample letter for use as well.

[SadStepMom]

Thank her for supplying you with more examples of how difficult she is :)

[patton]

Okay, I have been through the denied visitation stuff.  I filed in court 6 denials and won 5 of them.

Ex was put on probation for 5 years and had to pay my attorney fees.

I don't know if you have filed the contempts yet, but be sure you can back up the contempts with absolute hard evidence.  And the more evidence you have for each violation the better.

Examples:

1. Violation No. 1 - Ex never took parenting course which Judge ordered taken by a certain date.  (Ex could not provide certificate, I had already filed my with the court).

2. Violation No. 2 - Ex denied visitation this date. I gave a brief statement like. Talked to ex earlier in the day and she said nothing about being gone, arrived at time to pick and no one was there. Drove 250 roundtrip. ( I had for evidence on this one a taped telephone conversation, the sheriff's department did a well check and there was no one at their home, I had a signed note from the guard on duty at the entrance to where they lived, also telephone bill proving I had called; also had witness with me)

3. Violation No. 3 Ex denied visitation on this date.  Ex made me sit outside guard gate for an hour after pick up time, then finally let me in, whereas sheriff's dept was there and she was trying to convince them that  I didn't get child for Spring Break. ( I had for evidence, taped conversation, sheriff dept actually there and had copy of report, had signed statement from guard that I did not get into the gate until after 7 PM, also had witness with me.)

So I won't go into the detail on the other 3 contempts, but you need to back up your contempts.  The contempt I did not win, I could not put my hands on the paperwork from the doctor's office and she flat out LIED on the witness stand that the doctor said the child could not travel, if I'd had that piece of paper, I could have proved her wrong there too.

But 5 out of 6 contempt is not bad.


 

[Stepmom0418]

Thanks for the advise Patton!

We do have some solid evidence. We have letters sent CRR, telephone conversations, voicemail messages, doctors records, police reports, reciepts from neutral drop off point from when we arrived and when we left, letters stating that BM will not allow SS to come if DH does not do this and this which is not in the CO, ect.

The part that I like about all of this is that BM thinks because she is "mom" that Dh will never get primary physical care. Our final trial is Feb 9th and 10th. We just recieved the interrogatories from the opposing counsel today. (well we got them from our attorney today, he got them on Jan 7th the last day they could send them to us) Opposing counsel has to respond to our interrogatories by Jan 18, 2004.

BM and her attorney have made requests for documents only concerning DH's financial records and employment. Nothing, except criminal record, to do with actual primary physical care of SS. They have made this all about $$$, rather than the reason DH decided that he wanted this to go to trial, Physical care. They even want to know if DH has ever tried to get a loan or credit card!!!!

SS missed 37 days of school last year.

8 so far this year all in a month and a half.

BM has denied 38 days of contact with DH since the order was signed in April of 04.(less than a year)

SS actually lived with BM's mother for the first 6 years of his life.
BM has recent criminal activity and so does her mother (drugs), brother(OWI), and her live in boyfriend has had his parental rights terminated in 2003 to one of his children by DHS removal.

There are many other facts to the case but there is a few of our major points. Financial wasnt the basis of what we requested. We just requested any and all DHS reports that involve SS or anyone with whom he has resided, criminal records of all people he has resided, school and medical records, and ect.