ORTHODONTICS NIGHTMARE

[antonin]

Two months ago, I took my daughter to the dentist. The dentist reffered me to an orthodontist. My daughter is almost nine. I took her to the orthodontist today. The orthodontist stated she needed braces because she is sucking her thumb. Orthodontist stated that if she cannot stop sucking her thumb in three weeks, that he will install some kind of device to make her stop sucking her thumb and then proceed with braces.  Daughter has been with mother for past two years and I was the weekend parent, although I have taken daughter to dentist, doctor, exclusively. Mother did nothing about daughter's thumb sucking. I now have 50/50 and joint legal. I informed mother of this tonight. She says the dentist who referred daughter to orthodontist is getting a kickback and that orthodontist is forcing braces on daughter to make money and that she does not need braces until she is 12. (With no professional or factual basis). Mother says she is going to call the orthodontist. I am worried she will intimidate the guy and daughter will be neglected.

What experience have you guys had with orthodontists? Is nine too young?

My ex is a psycho. Everything I try to do to help daughter she's against. This is the same woman who wants to keep daughter back a year in third grade even though daughter has a 3.0 grade average!

Is there legal recourse if ex keeps this up?

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[nosonew]

To cover your butt, get a second opinion from another orthodontist. I was always under the impression that around 10 years of age children began to get braces.  Luckily, my ds and ss have straight teeth, but I take them faithfully every 6 months to get them cleaned and sealed as needed.  

My ds, has never had a cavity, he is now 15.  My ss has tons, but was never taught to brush his teeth by none other than moty.  

I would get a 2nd opinion, send her a certified letter stating your intent, and go do it.  Period.  Make her pay for half.  Take it to court if you need to, and do an emergency hearing if needed.  The girl is waaaayyy too old to be sucking her thumb.  She obviously needs it for security reasons, and if she just got with you, she wasn't too damn secure with mommie dearest.  Perhaps the judge will see the light.  

Good luck, sorry I couldn't be more help.

[grazer]

I totally agree with nosonew. Get a second opinion!! If second opinion recomends starting braces now or soon(within the next 6months) then I would for sure file for a hearing. Get this issue exposed that the BM is refusing to do what is in the child's best interest. And refusing to cooperate with your attempt to secure care for your child. And that you wish to stop the madness.

Also, if the child's BM is not willing to cooperate with the child's need, then demand that the BM make an appoitment with the orthodonist and have the orthodonist via an office visit tell the BM what/why the orthodonist is recomending the braces. Make sure that the orthodonist tell the BM via in office appointment. The orthodonist should/would make office notes in the child's record/file that the orthodonist had an appointment with the child's BM, and the notes will reflect that the BM had been told of the need and the reason. Then request and/or suphoena the orthodonist's file. Then bring the copy of the file to court where the offices notes clearly reflect that the BM was made aware of the need.

I have experinced years of my ex/BM thwarting or refusing to get medical help for my special needs child. And the above is one method that I used to sucessfully expose my ex. But the trick in my method is getting the BM to attend an office visit. But if you set a appointment for the BM yourself and send via certified/return reciept letter telling the BM of the appointment for the BM with the orthodonist and the BM refuses to attend the appointment. This also will expose the BM as being un-willing to be cooperating with the child's care/need.

Don't stand idle and hope things will get better. They seldom do with parents that do what your child's BM has done. And it's much better to stop/expose BM's behavior NOW, before other medical needs occur and your faced with having to fight this type of behavior over and over again.

Per my divorce decree, I am responsible for all insurance does not pay.  Ex was court ordered to cover the medical insurance. My ex took son to orthodonist and started getting son prepared(teeth cleaning, teeth extraction, ect.). Then ex stopped and didn't further my son's braces to be installed. When ex started son's orthodnist, ex had dental insurance via her company insurance. Ex then dropped her dental coverage that would have paid for at least half of son's orthodonist's costs. Then ex completely dropped her medical insurance, claiming she could no long afford the costs of the premiums. Ex obtain medicaid.

Within 2months of ex dropping her dental insurance, ex resumed son's orthodonic care and son was fitted with braces. Ex sent me the bill, $3,200.00. and son's orthodonist, of course doesn't accept medicaid.

Who do you think should pay the orthodonist bill?? I feel I should only be held liable for 1/2. Because ex voluntarly ceased her dental coverage that would have clearly paid for at least 1/2 of the costs.

P.S.   Also went ahead and installed son's braces 3weeks before we were to have a custody hearing. I am requesting custody of son and feel that I have a very solid case for being granted custody(other issues). My ex had full knowledge that we were having the custody hearing and also had full knowledge that son may not be living with her in the very near future. But went ahead and allowed braces to be installed. Ex and son live 3.5hrs away from me in another town/city.

[Kitty C.]

I agree also, get a second opinion.  DS is in braces right now and he just turned 15 yesterday.  PBFH tried to get SS in braces last year (when he was 9 also) and that's when we found out that there is NO reason to get braces as long as the child still has any baby teeth.  What's the point if the teeth are still going to come out?

I would agree with the device to keep her from sucking her thumb.  I had two cousins who had extremely deformed teeth because of it.  Unfortunately they never got braces because there were 7 kids in the family and no dental ins. back then.

[antonin]

Thank You. Kitty, I believe the point the doctor was making was that daughter's two front teeth are screwed up becuase of thumb sucking and should be treated now before they continue to grow crooked. The idea being that if we wait, they will be more difficult to deal with. I wish I knew something about this. The web sites all say the ideal time is between 10-12, but do not address special problems such as thumb sucking.

[antonin]

You have a vindictive ex.

When you take her to court for these things, are you filing contempt? Are you takeing her to court because she is not acting in child's best interest?

I was not aware two parents with 50/50 physical and joint legal could take each other to court for these things. I guess i am asking what is the legal device, (contempt, not following court order, not acting in  child's best interest, not cooperating, etc?) (Most decrees state that parents should cooperate, right?)

What legal document is used to get a hearing? If it is a motion, what language does the motion contain that references the problem and it's relationship to the decree?

[forthekids24]

She didn't suck her thumb, but chewed on her fingernails.  The pressure on her top front teeth made them grow in really messed up, they looked like a "V".

She was 9 when we had the braces put on and she only had to wear them for 6 months, and then a retainer for 6 months.  Just long enough to get the adult teeth back to where they should be.

Her teeth are now beautiful and straight, she is really happy, and smiles a lot!!  We didn't realize how self conscious she was about them being crooked.

Good Luck!
FTK

[exwiferuinsson]

My daughter had braces put on when she was 9, she also had to have numerous baby teeth extracted that werent coming out and her adult teeth were pushing in behind, she had braces for about a year, orthodontist pulled all her teeth back into alignment, now at 13, she's just fine. Oh and the cost was half of what it would have cost had we waited until she was older and let it go. I now understand the reasoning of catching some of the orthodontic problems early, as I thought she was too young at the time too.

[grazer]

Yes, I believe you could file either way, file contempt, or BM not acting in child's best interest, or BM "neglecting" child's care, or BM interfereing with your(a parent) attempts to secure help for your child. Or all of the above. Different laws for different states, please check with an attorney for correct legal advice.

In my case, I was filing contempt!

Filed contempt and listed the records and documents that were pertaining to the case. Did not include the actual documents, rather just made mention of them so that the judge and opposing party knew that we had documented proof as to what we were complaining.

[antonin]

Thanks!