Visitation and Transportation

[TPK]

I'm in NJ, my wife has defacto custody in NY right now. We live only 1-1/2 hours away from each other. Right now I'm doing all the transportation for my weekend parenting time, and also driving to NY on non-weekend visits.

We are separated right now, visitation has been ordered by NY judge. This is only temp. til a divorce is finalized.

I think transportation should be 50/50, my wife disagrees with that.

I'd like to hear from people who live at least 2 hours apart from a NCP or CP and what was court ordered as far as transportation responsibilities.

I find it hard to think I'm out-of-line requesting 50/50 on the transportation.


Any insights??


TPK

[Kimberly9]

You are not out of line in requesting it.  You could either meet at a point that is  half way for both of you, or you could pick up the child to begin parenting time and she could pick up the child at the end of parenting time.

But it might be a fight because temporary orders often become permanent.

Please read the sample parenting plans on this board and get EVERYTHING that you can think of spelled out now to protect you and your children in the future.  You need a specific plan with specific time and places etc.  The more clear cut the better.  Adapt a plan to fit your child's needs now and in the future and propose it.  

Always remember. . . it is "parenting time"  not "visitation".   Good luck.  This board is a great resource.

[TPK]

It's only temp because wife secreted herself and child from me for 4 months.  The judge gave me the parenting time because I hadn't seen my daughter. That judge only did a hearing for a venue transfer which went thru. So we really haven't even had 1 day in court in the proper county for a divorce.

I'm not concerned the temp order might be permanent as it's not officially "court ordered" on paper rather it's from the court minutes of the hearing. The judge had to stop the bleeding, and did so by ordering some parenting time.  

Thanks for the input.


TPK

[patton]

I don't live in either state you mentioned, but I think it's pretty standard in my state that the NCP does ALL the driving back and forth in the standard order.  Then there is a clause in there that IF the CP moves to another county the NCP picks up and the CP retrieves the child.

The only people I've know that this was not standard were people that agreed on some other arrangement.  The Judge hear seems to pretty much sign off on things that are agreeable.  

But things that are not agreeable then reverts to standard visitation agreement.

[smtotwo]

"He Who Wants Fetches" meaning that if you want the children then you'll go pick them up, and if she wants them back then she'll come pick them up.

DH and I live just over 2 hours from his ex and this is how the order is written..

DH picks up at 5 p.m. on fridays and Psychomommy picks up at 6 p.m. on sunday.

It seems to work pretty well here, unless she's got a bug up her butt, then we don't get the kids at all.

[TPK]

"He Who Wants Fetches".......sounds fair to me....as does your court order. I'll make sure my lawyer makes a fuss about this.

Thanks

TPK

[Forthelittleones]

In OH - One county we split transportation.  The other NCP does all.  It also depends on who moved first.

Good luck

[rainbow1]

Make sure your attorney gets this settled at your first hearing. Best is for you to pick up at start of your time and she picks up at start of her time. Meeting halfway gives her too many opportunities to not show up, be late and make you wait, have "car trouble", etc. If she is not home when you go to pick up children have her local police dept. write up a report. Get a few of these reports and you have a case for visitation/ placement interference.Have it written in that if she can't pick up on any date that it is her responsibility to make arrangements to retrieve children, and THEY STAY WITH YOU UNTIL SHE DOES. If they miss school because she didn't pick up it is her fault. Make sure your attorney asks for placement time, not visitation! Your children are your family, not guests. Try for half of their summer vacation too.