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BM working her magic on SD again

Started by Ref, Jun 01, 2005, 12:22:48 PM

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Ref

These boards are so seasonal. It seems every Xmas and every summer the posts fly around here with similar really screwed-up issues.

Anyway, DH just spoke w/ SD about the summer. She seems excited about coming but she dropped a bomb on him. BM apparently told her to once again "fight her own battles" with DH.

For those of you not following the story, DH has weekend visitation whenever he wants it. He simply has to give 5 days notice and pay for a hotel, airfare, car rental, and 3 meals a day. He also usually has to miss work for at least a half day. The only other restriction is that it has to be in BM's town. BM gets the same rights and responsibilites that DH has for visitation. She sent him a letter saying that she was flying SD back to FL for 4th of July weekend because she has her for the 4th. DH said that she can see SD but it should be in PA. SD has all sorts of drama from BM when she has to fly here and he would prefer to not put that on SD.

Well drama has NOT been averted. BM obviously told SD to tell DH to write a letter promising to let her fly back to Fl for the weekend. She has banded together w/ SD about how DH is interfering in her (SD's) life and not respecting the fact that she might want to hang out with friends.
SD is upset. She told DH these things. Ofcourse she thinks that it is all her idea and mom has NOTHING to do with it. She also mentioned that her mom gave her the parenting agreement and told her to discuss it with DH. Is that F'ed up or what? He just got done telling BM to stop putting SD in the middle. AAAARRGH.

What should DH do? Should he discuss the parenting agreement with SD now that she has already seen all the legals? He told her that she should not be put in the middle and that it was wrong to put children in the middle of parental decisions. It was too much pressure. She has hear all of this before.

I need advice. I am upset for my SD. She is being torn all to pieces.

MixedBag