Length of visitation

[Shaggy579]

  I have been awarded "a minimum of 1 day per week" supervised visitation of my children. The approved supervisors are good friends of mine. Thus far, I have been refused more than 1 day per week. Is there anything I can do about this? Also, does 1 day constitute 24 hours? I have nothing in the order that states no overnight. Can my wife limit the length of time of the visitation? There is nothing specific to times in the order.

Thank you in advance

[gipsy]

I don't know why you have supervised visits .  When I had them it was because the mother falsified allegations . But once a few of these visits have taken place , Go back to court for more , Thats what I did , I had an atty , And he said to call the GAl And tell how excited I was to see My son . And  I did , And Then My time was increased , Just play it cool don't do anything out of anger , Mind your own buiseness , and be a good parent , Some how . You are now sucked into the twilight zone [My Opinion] And now you have to be cool and try to make all the courts jesters like you and , Then this will straighten out ,
  Basically  I am assumeing the mother went and told a whopper to the court , And they have to play along with this , Because there are an occasion or two when these stories are true so the court has to take the High road , even though they know its probably not true . I just think the court wants to make you jump a bunch of hoops and pay $$ And see how you fare , they all give it  too ya with out the vaseline < ,
 If you suite up and show up , Dureing the process . You get the stamp from the court that say's , Vaseline free , And  You passed with out any wierd reactions .
  Like think of this , If they didn't hold the dearest thing you have from you and make you play along , You would go to the court with shot gun , But they all know that would defeat the purpose , And you wouldn't get to see your kids , So they live ,
   So the best way to take the whole thing (with out ) The vaseline is .
  Just think of it as a big game now and you have to suit up and show up , then this will all pass eventually , And if you really keep your nose clean , And the mother keeps up the bad faith reporting , then she will come out worse , If you react , Then the court may not know who's pulling the crap .  
 Been though the whole thing , Stay cool let her pull the crap , And don't play into it , If you meet her some where bring a video camera , That way she won't be able to even start some crap . I had to video . Upon the advice of my atty . and it does put them on their good behavior , And the meetings and transfers will Be uneventfull .Give her a chance and she'll make up another story to cause trouble , She already has remmeber you have supervised visits ,

[Shaggy579]

Yes, the allegations are falsified, at the very least exaggerated. Granted she has reasons to have concerns, but nothing to require an order of protection. I do beleive the the lack of comunication is only hurting the situation..

I wish I was able to afford and Atty to get advice from- I have been hoping to work with her to attain a compromise without having to spend a fortune, but the further along I go, the more I don't see it happening

[joni]

how long have you been going for these?

are you on time, do you exercise it once a week?

I would wait two months and then file in writing for a change in parenting visitation, asking for the increase.  don't wait for them to give it to you.  you have to appear to be motivated to do this.

squeaky wheel gets the oil

you should be able to get these forms through the court

[Shaggy579]

Unfortunately, my friend who is the 'supervisor' if chronically late for things, so this last Sat, they were 20 mins late on the pickup and 20 mins late on the dropoff - Totally out of my control..
I have had only one visitiation to date, I would never let a weekend go by without seeing my kids- they are a bright spot in my rather dim life

I was just wondering what constitutes a 'day' of visitation, and if the mother can impose time limitations upon it

[gipsy]

 About limitations , She will probably try , And If the order is so unclear that you don't have a pick up time and a drop off time [mine does ] And the place , Then you may have to file another order , I would just follow through , As much as possible , A Then file an order , I have some Ideas because I have been to court a number of times ,
   Just file an order for a parenting plan stateing that there is a lack of definition in the order as to what a day Means , And the mother won't cooperate , So you have to ask the court to make a ruling , And propose a regular parenting plan that gives you every other weekend , Holidays , and half the summer , And file an order to appoint a Guardian ad Litem or CASA , What ever they use in your area . And this person will report to the court , And My atty advised me to have things set up for My son, Bed clothes , Toys , And the GAl reported such , Through out this process , Just stay with the facts , The court hears how you don't like each other all the time , Just state you want the parenting plan and she will make up stories etc , And tell the court then if the court wants we can appoint a GAL ,And this will show she is telling stories .  But in the mean time the visits  Are going well and there is no reason that the Kids are in danger ,"
She did not file an order on behalf of the children  , I wouldn't say that untill you are standing in front of the commissioner or judge so she won't have time to make up a story about how the kids are in danger , And if she does saythe kids are in danger  ,  say She never filed an order on behalf of the children , And You want your visits . In My court appearances , The court seemed friendly to me because I didn't sling mud , And just stayed with the facts , As a matter of fact when I appeared pro se once the commissioner thanked me for keeping it short ,
 I could go on and on , But Basically here in Wash state They have the basic process of appointing a GAl because the court doesn't know what to believe that you say about each other , So the GAL interviews people , And checks the police record , And reports the findings back to the court , Then if  the report comes back Like mine did , Wich basically said ,
 GAL report ::: Mr XXX Has a place for the kid , Toys, crib , Job, house , And moms allegations don't check out , So dad gets the parenting plan "

, But unless you know this the court won't do much till they see the report ,
   And again the DAY is a bit unclear , I don't know what would happen if you kept the kids over nite , but There is one thing that was unclear on My parenting plan , And my atty said if its unclear then the court can't really find me in contempt .
   I would just be at every visit and bring a  camera if you have to deal with Mom , Then she can't tell a story , AND IN MY CASE EVERYONE WAS ON GOOD BEHAVIOR  with the video running , My atty told me I should use the video , There is a lot of info on this site in the drop down menues , If you want a sample parenting plan . Post asking about it , Or an order to appoint Guardian AAd Litem on behalf of Minor child etc , Post the question , And eventually some one will help , I think the guy that posts as Brent , Has the info links on this site down pat < post a question to Him about where the info is , Ask about  Pro se repesentation links  etc , He seems to be knowledgable of this site !

 Also read your current order , It may say that you have to go to mediation before rerurning to court , If so Call the court , And talk to more than one person till you find out who does mediation in your area , Here the courts place is , PIerce county Center for dispute resolution , Try this and if she refuses take that to court and ask the court for more time based on what I already stated . Just remmember , This will pass ! . And we all think a few thoughts of what we would do . But forget all that and keep your end clean .  If you do any thing she will exagerrate a big story of it , Women seem to go into some wierd mode during this process , And  I even think they can't control them selves from Lying , So jsut don't do any thing , Be a good parent , When you go to court You are better off talking about how you love your children , And things you do with them then talking about her , The court knows you have problems , As I see it now it's laughable to waste the courts time telling of what A butthead she is , Just keep it simple , And stay calm ,
  I figured this out and I told My atty once to say After her atty  As usuall wasted the courts time trying to trash talk me ,
   My atty was told to say " My client has ALL KINDS of ALLEGATIONS
  But today he  Doesn't want any thing to do with the mud slinging "
   Once , Her atty at another appearance slung the mud , And I told My atty to just say . " Not true " And just tell the court  what I want " Wich was visits , And the Female commissioner smiled at me > And said
  " What does He want ,
  Another thing you can do in Pierce county is go to the court and get a CD of your last hearing , And  Listen to it < And see if you can figure out what to do next from what was said at that hearing , I got that advice from an atty , And fired the piece of garbage atty I had that didn't even do what the court asked , And the reason I knew was from listening to the recording , So there my friend id a few Ideas for you . STAY CALM !!! The worst things used against me was My reaction to some of this , But still yet I came out OK

[dsm]

If this has only happened once and it's only been a week since you've been on this plan, you don't have anything to base a motion on.

A 'day' could be openly interpreted (it could mean 8 hours = standard work day; it could mean sunrise to sunset = daylight hours; it could mean 24 hours = one full calendar day).   You mention that the supervisors are good friends of yours.  Ask them how they interpret the 'day' to last.  And then play by their rules for a few weeks.  The order says 'a minimum of 1 day'.....so therefore, you begin asking for the one day and also request (in writing of course for your documentation) an additional day to go for ice cream or to the park or something.  And when they deny it, don't argue - just document.  When you have a decent period of time where you are playing by their rules, and they are denying you more time; that's when you file your motion to review the time.   Do you have a status hearing scheduled?  If so, how long until that happens?  You very well may be able to stick your motion to that status date.  Is there a GAL assigned for the kids?  Do you schedule directly with the supervisor or through your ex?   Also document the times - and DON'T YOU EVER BE LATE OR GIVE UP TIME!!!  Keep it all documented and use it for your advantage at the review.


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dsm - 34
DH - 38
SD - 16
LO - 9
BB - 2
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3 Cheap Entertainment cats - Sam (4 months) Snoop & Dagger - 5 years and counting.....

[Shaggy579]

First, I apologize for the delay in reply. I have been staying with a friend on the weekends (helps save me from empty house)

I should add that there is a temporary order of protection in effect, so I am not allowed to ask fo visit time by word, or by mail. I am lucky that she agreed to let good friends of mine supervise, so they make all the requests. I have not asked them to do so in writing, I figured that being a third party, they could just sign a statement confirming visit times and such.

Now, This last weekend, I was not allowed by the mother to see my younger daughter (6 mos.) as she was 'sick'. The visit supervisor went to the house to get my older daughter (3 yrs) and said the baby looked fine. No Dr.'s appointment was mentioned. This to me seems like a blatent denial of visitation. Would this help to make my case in court?
I would like so much to calmly work with my wife to plan visits, watching kids while at work, and just offer support, but she refuses any communication. I do not want this to be a bIg expensive mud-slinging battle, but I feel that I am being pushed in that direction.

 I had the visit supervisor mention talking in mediation and she denied. Can I have the court order this?

 She is also denying to allow visitation at my house saying that it would be unsafe for the children. Who/how could I get a walkthrough to disprove the allegation?

Thank you again for your replies

[gipsy]

In wash state , You would  File a Motion To Appoint Guardian Ad Litem On Behalf Of Minor Child
  This all depends on whaT the judge thinks , But for now do the best you can to get the visits ,
    About the so called sick baby . My Atty told me " tell her to give you the medication when she gives you the baby "
   If she doesn't its contempt " My psycho tried the sick child crap , And I told her each time . And that I will be there to sewe how sick he looks,
   The problem subsided >
   You have a different problem with the restraining order ,
  Again It doesn't matter if she refuses to mediate  Here , Pierce Couinty Wash . My pplan say's "
  ' Before returning to court the parties must mediate '.
   So I sent the request in < And in a couple weeks it comes back with the box checked saying < respondent [Mother ] Did not reply to mediation request ,
  So I gave it to my atty and he filed it with my proposed temporary  Parenting plan , And then I got more visitation
  And don't bother slinging mud !