wondering about supervised visits

[melissa3]

Hello,

Recently, my fiance's ex told the courts he was abusing drugs and, as he undergoes evaluation, he can only see his daughter through supervised visits.

We have no idea what to expect (or think!) and we have no clue as to how you are supposed to be with the child or if you're supposed to just act normal. We figured it would be a little odd if we asked the evaluator what "the rules" are so I thought I'd post here first.

We were wondering what the rules are (if any), how these visits work, what are the supervisors "looking out" for and if the superviser can just take your child if they feel it's neccessary?

If anyone has any advice to offer your input would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you.

 

[sherrie ohio]

My best advise to you is to go act normal,and be polite to the person there.And what ever you do dont say anything bad about the BM,even if the child brings something up.And dont cuss in front of the evaluator either.
Take something his daughter would like to do,(example)coloring books,game or some type of toy.If older something else.
My husband's  EX played this game of supervised visit's( for another reason) while the case was going through the court AGAIN. And the GAL seen real fast they werent needed.
Only the visit's were at BM house.My husband would take coloring books,play games,read books and just talk to her.Best of luck!!!
 Sorry i couln't be more help..........

[gipsy]

The only thing I could add is to be nice to the supervisors ,
  My psycho was so intent on causing trouble that the visit supervisors did not like her and they told me ,
  The reason they told me was I talked to them like regular people , Like about what I do and vacation to mexico , etc , And the visits moved to my house in wich the supervisors came over , And this was good for the situation as they saw that I am a normal person , And  they weren't really looking ,but notice some of the books I had etc , Like Mark Twain , Louis Lamor , No porn ! Nothing wierd , And The Guardian ad Litem  Of course talked to the supervisor's , And it seemed thay had a good impression of me ,
  So Make it work for you , And don't bother bad mouthing the mother , this is a day in day out occurance , Think of it ,when the visits are supervised every one knows there is something amiss with one of you , So Let them figure it out , And they will . IF you just act like a normal person , And she is constantly trashing you , The mother will eventually say something that is obviously not true and that will blow her credibility .
  And remmember " you want a report that say's you are a good parent and was playing with your child . Had food , Diapers whatever is needed For the age of the child , Like it would be cool if you thought of the childs favorite type of toy or food , And the child had a good time , And this was reported ,
  You don't want a report that say's " Mr XXX Was pre occupied with Miss XXX and was angry complaining and unfriendly ,
   Like don't over do it . But hospitality is bringing some snacks and offering them a cookie , Although they won'tbe likely to take you up , Hospitable offers make you look good and friendly and thoughtfull ,

 Play this card to your advantage I did it sort of accidentally ,

[melissa3]

So basically, just be yourself and everything should be alright? We can do that!

Is there a difference between "custody evaluations" and just plain "supervised visitations"?

[gipsy]

The difference between a custody eval and supervised visits ,
   A custody evaluater Is also  Known as A Guardian ad Litem / Parenting investigater ,
   The supervisor of the visits will be in contact with the GAL , Parenting
 Evaluater , And Some of what the Visit supervisor said Made it into The GAL report in mY case ,
   But as I said Youmay as well keep the bad mouth to a minimum Because the Visit supervisor ,:: MILDY : Reported the BS that the mother was doing ,
   BUT !!! the good thing Is The visit supervisor reported there is a bond between me and My son ,
   And too me that is the points of law that I am talking about That are the MOST IMPORTANT !!!  Because  As I went through this process I found that  the courts decision has WAY LESS to do with the crappola between you two then it has to do with the fact that you have a bond with the child ,
  So If I were to say there is one thing I could give you as  far as information for you to focus on in your visit It will be this ,
   Focus on being understanding of the child and ready with what is needed , as Far as food Diapers etc , And most important , that you are bonded to the child , I As dumb luck brought a snowman puppet , And a little clown that has the spring that when you depress the bottom the clown moved up and down , And played and interacted , Secondly ,I
  AGAIn By dumb luck very gently scoopped my son up and fed him and held him ,
  These are the things  that are going to generate a report that say's
  What Mine said , The most important infromation that was reported  In the : Report Of the Guardian Ad Litem ; That is filed to the court
   Mr XXX Visitaion supervisor reported that there is a bond between father and son ,
  Ok Now to the point of law , Visitation , The law states there will be meaningfull contact to  both parents , And the criterian that establishes this is that there is a parent child bond "
  THATS the law , NOT all the he said she said , And the minute that this is told to the court your case is won , As Mine was ,
  Now it sounds as if there will be drug testing , If not get it done and file,the results with the court or GAL or whomever , And I would not go into any long dialog about qwhat a dork mom is , Don't bore any one too sleep with the Usuall and customary bad mouthing , I would say upon passing the drug test ? Eval ? She is doing this for the purpose of interfering with my relationship to my child ,
  Now here's the rub on this deal , I reacted to the BS , And it's a mistake ,

 I tried my case based on bad faith reporting , Wich By law is a reason for change of custody , BUT ! I reacted and was part of the BS , And that  Made My side less clean , I will alway's wonder what would have happened if I went to trial clean of BS interaction ? I suggest you try it , Because I know with out any doubt Involving My self in the mud slinging did nothing at all that was used in any way , :: Except against me !
  And I see your case as easy . Just go through the hurdles ,
  Now !!