Advice on letter

[NEmomof3]

I was refered to this website and hope someone can help..

Divorced in 2001, and my children have not been back to Ex's house since. The reason for this is his house is completely filled with mold. (basement, walls, the roof has holes in it and part of the ceiling has collapsed in, so you can only imagine how much is up in the attic space now) and if he has seen the children, it is either when he drops by for a 1/2 hour or so, or here and there he *might* take them to lunch or such.

He has told the children that starting here soon, when he gets them new beds, they can start coming over to spend time there with him. I am really concerned about this. I have 2 children that have an extreme allergy to mold, (one is so bad he requires a breathing machine if he's around it more that a few minutes, the other requires an inhaler if she's around it at all). I did contact an attorney about this and during my free consultation was told I can legally keep them from going over till the entire house is cleaned and it is documented by an outside source (not just him stating it's done), citing that it would put our children in "emanate danger for their health" for them to go over. I can not afford the attorney fees for them to do the letter themselves, and they said I could do it myself.

Question (finally), does anyone have any advice on how to word this letter? I have sat here for 2 hours and can not come up with anything that sounds right. I don't want it to be a threatening one, just let him know I am serious about my children not being in that type of environment, and that he can still see the children, just not at his house. Any ideas?

[Ref]

Have the child's allergist write a letter stating the child's condition, symtoms, causes, treatments and ways to avoid reactions.

I would state:
.........
Dear ex

As you know, BS1 and BS2 have ___allergies. They are severe and I was told to pass along this information from the doctor. I have made some adjustments to my household to make sure BS1 and BS2 don't get sick as I am sure you will do to your home.

In the interest of BS's health and this specific condition, I would understand if you need some time to prepare for his time with you. I would be happy to help you find a professional that can help you with any mold issues so that BSs will be healthy and comfortable in your home.

I have enclosed a letter from their allergist to help you understand their conditions a little more and maybe answer some questions you might have. If you have any additional questions for him, his name is ____ and his number is____.

Please contact me by phone or email to discuss this.

Certified letter #(or fedex or ups#)________

........

How do you know his house is still messed up? Maybe he fixed it up before he put the beds in???????

I think this is a good start. As far as not being able to afford legal bills, you might be in for thousands if you straight out deny him the ability for overnights, if they are allowed in your parenting plan.

You should also get a letter from the doctor stating their condition and that spending the night at dads could endanger them and keep that in your records. This could save you from contempt charges.

To get the certified letter ahead of time, go to the post office and pick up a handful of the green slips then write the letter with the tracking number on it. I personally think UPS or FedEx seem a little less official and might not make Ex feel like he is being served with papers, just me.

You are walking a fine line but if the kids are really in physical danger, you should be fine (as long as you can prove it).

Good Luck
Ref