Is there a way to handle this out of court?

[dadintrouble]

Ever since we moved in together, my fiance's ex-wife has gotten more difficult about letting him see his 6 year old daughter.  It has gotten to the point where she hasn't let him see her at all for the past 3 months. Every time he calls she tells him that he can't see her because his daughter doesn't want to see him.  I keep telling him that we need to do something now, but he is afraid of confrontation and getting his daughter hurt in the middle of it.  He is not asking for any custody rights that he doesn't already have.  Is there any way of resolving this out of court?  If not, do we need to hire a lawyer?

[maid marion]

The longer he goes without seeing her and does nothing about it will only cause the courts to frown on him if and when he goes.
Is there a visitation scheduale through the court? If so, is she in violatoin of it?
If she doesn't have a valid reason for denying the visits then I don't see why a court, if he doesn't have a scheduale, wouldn't give him one. Again, the longer he goes with no contact the worse it looks for him.
If they had a regular scheduale before, can he prove it? Did he document all his visits?
If and when he does get his visits back be sure to keep a journal of all the time he is with the little one.
 Also, try and document the attemps he's making to see her so that if it does go to court he can show his efforts and her denial.
Good Luck,
Maid Marion

[Ref]

or it will only get worse. I would seriously look into filing for contempt. A 6 year old not wanting to go is a load of crap. No normal human would say that is a valid reason. You know why she doesn't want his daughter there. She is threatened by you and your relationship. Look up info on PAS (Parental Alienation Syndrome)

First, I would write her a letter asking her to explain why she said that the daughter doesn't want to come. Have him ask what he can do to change that. Make the tone of the letter that of a concerned dad. Have him express how he misses her. Have him express how important it is that the child has both parents. Everything in the letter should be about helping the child, except the missing her part.  Send it certified. Hopefully she will respond in a letter back agreeing that she is denying visitation based on the 6 year olds wishes. Keep that letter and the envelope.

Then, prior to next parenting time, send her a certified letter stating "as of paragraph *** of our divorce decree" I will be exercising visitataion" listing time, place and duration.

When the time comes, show up at the pick-up. If pickup is supposed to be at a public place, get someone's name that is there and contact info. If it is at ex's, you stay in the car and have him bring someone more impartial to the door. I say stay on the car just because I have learned over the years that things tend to go smoother if I just stay out of sight. If they are a no-show, document it and keep the witness info.

Next step is to file contempt charges. If you have a letter from ex stating that she is denying visitation and you have a record of her not being there at pick-up, you should be able to support the contempt charges. You can do this on your own, but I recommend you post here or get some other help along the way. It is really easy to make serious mistakes going it on your own. If finances are an issue, many times if the other party gets found guilty of contempt, the judge will have them pay your legal and court costs. You have to ask and sometimes it is based on ability to pay. (If mom is unemployed, judge may not make her)

To get the papers on your own, many counties and states have the forms online. Post your state here and someone here might be able to point you to the right direction. You can also go to the courthouse and ask someone to tell you where they keep the forms.  After you get the forms come back and post the exact wording of the visitation section of your fiance's divorce decree. Actually, you may want to do that first. You may have no case if it says something like "reasonable visitation". And post what evidence (I mean HARD PROOF) that BM is denying and we can walk you through it.

You are in a tough spot. I just recently got married to DH after a 11 year relationship and having to deal with being an invalid Step-mom. Being the person to help your fiance is going to be hard on you and there will be times that it will put a huge strain on your relationship. The fact of the matter is, you have the ability to be more emotionally detached (not completely, but more detached) so you will end up doing the legwork. It is a very good thing, but extremely frustrating. Just know that there are tons of us here on this page that can support YOUR needs too. Take care of yourself first, then help your sweetheart and his daughter.

best wishes
Ref

[SMLoyal]

NO. GO GO GO.

Beg, borrow, get a lawyer. NOW, while he's still got some leverage. My dh went an entire year without his daughter for her 6th year- don't let your fiance go through that torment. When she finally came back, she didn't "remember" stuff we had done- said her "new daddy" has "known her longer" than dh, called him by his first name. Very awkward and sad to see dh so upset because of that miserable woman! Don't let yours go through that. Dh wanted partial custody but was told no since she hadn't evne seen him in a year- that it wasn't good for her. Now after 2 years he's scared to file again... Get it while he still can!

Document. Dictate phone calls. You can't use half of it, but Murphey's law says the one piece you don't keep you'll need.