How to tell my son...(long, sorry)

[Amy_in_MA]

We're actually heading up on Sunday afternoon to go visit with Tracer and her family who are up in NH for their annual vacation at the lake. I'm pretty psyched to see them again and just get away. If R decides not to take a visit at all, I may call and see if we could come up a day earlier. And thanks for the kind words. I lose patience with Z a lot more lately...I'm tired, I'm stretched thin, and there is no real space for me to grieve (or at least it feels that way)...and I question all the time whether I'm a good enough mother to him. I don't want to mar him for life with my expectations for his behavior, but damn, the kid can be SOOOO hyper and NEVER stops talking. LOL.

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Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil.

     ~ James Allen

[Buff]

we really need to get CG and Z together, maybe they'll wear each other out.  I have deemed George Thoroghgood's "You Talk Too Much" as CG's catch song.  You heard it?  Here..

http://entertainment.circuitcity.com/Music/Album.aspx?p_id=P+++++5645&a_id=R+++689122&search=GEORGE%20THOROGOOD&sec=all%20music&prodid=CAP98430.2

[Emma]

i don't know what to tell you about r, it just seems he's continuing to be a lousy father...poor z :(

[becky]

left a message to you on the CS board this morning, but wanted to be sure you knew I have been thinking of you.  I sure miss your thoughts and opinions on the SWB.  I'll have to think over the post before I can offer any insight.

[Buff]

http://www.amazon.com/gp/music/clipserve/B000002UZM001004/0/ref=mu_sam_wma_001_004/103-2690624-7321427

[Amy_in_MA]

Every time my brother has spent more than an hour with Z, next time he sees me he says "my hat is off to you...I don't know how you do it, I'd go insane". LOL. Constant chatter.

I was actually looking at airfares to Denver and considering giving DS a call about taking a long weekend out there this fall sometime.

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Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil.

     ~ James Allen

[Amy_in_MA]

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Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil.

     ~ James Allen

[Stirling]

Amy, it's so nice to see you here.  I have missed you.  I was thinking about you the other day, wondering what you've been up to.

I know I have said this in the past, I think your Ex is only going to be the type of dad that is is comfortable with.  I don't think that he will ever be the dad to Z that you would like him to be or that Z deserves.  

I really don't think that you can force your ex to step up to the plate and take his time with Z.  If your Ex is no longer comfortable with the amount of parenting time he is exercising then he will find a way to reduce it to where he is comfortable.  If your counselor thinks that it is best for Z to spend time with his dad then all I can say is some time together is better than no time together.  

If it is decided that your Ex truly steps out of Z's life then I do think that it is up to your Ex to explain it to Z.  If Z asks you why maybe respond that you really don't know why and perhaps you should ask your dad that question.  It's really a difficult situation.  You don't want to say anything to Z that will make his dad look bad, yet your ex has placed you in a situation where it is almost impossible not to do so.  

[Buff]

nm

[Amy_in_MA]

I know, and everything you've said makes sense. Hard to imagine that he can't even handle a day...but in talking to him, he kept saying "Amy, I have 4 kids to worry about" (yes, his step-son is included in there because he has him those days as well). He's got more than he can handle, and Z is the dispensable one. :( Sad but true.

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Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil.

     ~ James Allen