Letter of intent

[WhatToDo]

My fiance' is being denied his visitation so he's going to send a letter of Intent to exercise his visitation rights. What is the appropriate amount of time to give his ex to respond between the day we send the letter until the day he wants to exercise his visitation? For example (since I don't know if I'm making sense) say he sends the letter tomorrow (10/21). When should be the earliest he should request visitation? Should he request next weekend? or 2 weekends from now? or when?

[Giggles]

What does the court order state in regards to his visitation?  Is it specific...(ie, father shall have every other weekend, plus one night per week..etc)?

[WhatToDo]

It says he gets his daughter every other weekend and have reasonable phone access to her. Which so far, his ex isn't allowing either one.

[dipper]

What to do....I would say pick a weekend he wants to start and state that one....expect the bm to either ignore the letter or state a different starting date.  However, I would not accept anything other than the next two weekends.  

If she ignores or tries to hold off on visitation, I would file a show cause for violating the custody order.  As a matter of fact, depending on how long this has been going on...I would do that regardless.  He deserves to see his child and she cannot legally keep him from the child...

Remember, to send the letter certified so you have proof of contact.  And, document everything!

best wishes...

[WhatToDo]

So, friday his ex calls him and says that she has decided that he should take his daughter to her therapy sessions and the therapist will decide if he should see his daughter more or less than he currently is. (He hasn't seen his daughter since April. SO what's less than never?) ANyway, he is going to take her for the next 4 weeks but she said other than the 2 hours he'll have her for the therapy, he doesn't get any visitation. I don't know what she's up to...the last time he talked to his ex (about 1 months ago), she said he was nothing more than a sperm donor and that's all he'd ever be and that she wasn't going to talk to him anymore. So I don't know what changed in the last couple weeks but she must have some motive.

[ocean]

huh? will he pick her up and drive her to the therapists? She trusts him to do this and not have visitation?
Not sure what she is up to but I would call the therapist ahead of time on the phone (get the therapist not the secretary). Tell her what transpired and say you are willing to make this work and see what the therapist has to say (should be interesting!).
Your DH will be able to have 1:1 time with daughter and get his side of things and the counselor "should' help. Unless SD was prepped and is going to tell DH not to come anymore or confront him. OR counselor is asking BM things that SD is saying to her and the counselor wants to hear from him.
Good Luck!

[WhatToDo]

Yes he will pick his daughter up and he gets to take her to supper after therapy. We don't know what BM is up to. According to her, all this is the therapists idea so who knows. We're just glad that the therapist will hear his side of the story before we go to court! We know the therapist is being left in the dark about some issues...

[dipper]

I would request a copy of therapy notes on my child.  DH can get these.  We did this months ago when bm had custody and was taking ss to counseling and would not give dh any information about counselor.  We sent a letter to the clinic and requested all.....some forms were mailed to us and dh filled them out and returned them.  

When we received the copies of counselor's notes we could see why bm was keeping dh out of it..she was lying to the counselor, blaming dh for all of ss' problems......After we wrote to counselor requesting a correction in his records and offering dh's opinion of matters....BM stopped taking ss to counseling.  It was only fun while he listened to her biased side.....

[WhatToDo]

I've been trying to get the number or address of SD therapist but can't seem to find it. If this all works out that DH gets to talk to the therapist (therapist is supposed to call DH to set up therapy sessions) hopefully he can request a copy of all the notes at that time.

We know BM has been badmouthing DH and would really like to know exactly what the therapist is being told! BM is always telling us what the therapist recommends like, "DH should only have supervised visits with his daughter." He has never harmed his daughter or put her in harms way and has never been convicted of a violent act and has never done drugs or anything so there is no reason he should ever have supervised visitation.

[Sherry1]

any circumstances to the other parent.  It would be considered client/patient privilege.