Establish paternity questions-- unmarried parents

[chorichori]

I'm the nervous grandma who posted a month or so ago.    In the meantime, our son had a consult with a good father's rights attorney here in Portland, Oregon.   Son decided to try to get BM to sign the paternity papers and hold off on getting the attorney involved until mediation/custody.   She is cooperating because she's defrauded the state for years with false income statements to increase her welfare/child care benefits and is afraid son will say something.  

So son goes to the state and asks that they start the process for paternity.   She got served some kind of initial paternity paper by the sheriff last week.   We have no idea what it says.  She is now saying that this paper says our son must pay her $467/monthly and health insurance for daughter.  This seems odd-  he hasn't recieved anything at all yet-  doesn't the state tell a man that he has been named the father, and at least ask for verification of his income before setting a monthly child support payment??  Also, isn't parenting time established first?   She has,  well, difficulty telling truth from fiction, and of course will not produce the papers for anyone to view, so this may be a lie.

So she either is in agreement and signs the paternity papers within 30 days or the court orders genetic testing, right?  Just seems early in the game for her to announce what he should be paying per month (directly to her of course!)  In the meantime, I'm pushing for the attorney to get on board soon, and also that he put his voluntary child support (he's been paying 300/mo) in an escrow account.  Any other nuggets of wisdom?  
                        Thanks SO much--  Oregon grandma
                   

[Sherry1]

Is this to establish paternity or her agreeing he is the father without a test?  And your son is making a huge mistake doing this without a lawyer.  He pays nothing and does nothing until paternity is established and I hope he has the sense to pay for a get a lawyer retained immediately.

[chorichori]

Hi Sherry and all,

Yes, I fully agree about the attorney-  He is getting one.  This is to establish paternity on his daughter.  They were not married but lived together 3 years-  just 4 months ago she found a new boyfriend and kicked our son out.  

So, he is going through the steps to establish paternity, with the goal being to establish his rights as father and have access to his daughter that is court ordered.  

All we know is that the Oregon Department of Justice had papers served to her about the paternity of the baby.  We don't know if she will sign them or not.   She probably will, now that she thinks she'll be getting $450+ a month!  


                   Thanks again....

[Ref]

First, you and your son have to realize that the attorney will only have to work with the information that your give him/her. If you walk in prepared with a drafted up parenting plan and child support calculation worksheet, he/she will be able to have a good foundation to start on and it will give you an idea of how to proceed.

This is a link to a child support calculator. Play with the numbers and you will see what you are getting yourself into. I played with it a little and it is possible that she put her income at 1299 (the minimum allowed based on min wage), and your son's at $2,800/month. Adjustments to this number could include % parenting time; she would have assumed your son to have 0 overnights a year to get the calc to work the way I did. Child care, medical expenses and health insurance for the child are also contributing factors. Like I said, play with the calculator and see what the best case scenerio is the worst case and the most realistic one.

http://www.dcs.state.or.us/oregon_admin_rules/guidelines_information.htm

This looks like your standard parenting agreement for your county. It doesn't really allow a ton of time so I would have him ask for more time that this. This should be the very minimum that he will get.

http://www.ojd.state.or.us/osca/cpsd/courtimprovement/familylaw/documents/mul8075.pdf

This attachment is from the State's page for creating your own plan.

http://www.ojd.state.or.us/osca/cpsd/courtimprovement/familylaw/parentingplan.htm

Good luck and keep asking questions.

Ref

[chorichori]

Thanks Ref!

Finally, finally got son to take all the papers and retainer fee to the attorney this morning.  Attorney says she is underreporting her income and he will re-figure the child support amount, request temp visitation orders, and a no-move order for BM.  

Is is normal to set up "temporary" child support and visitation, then do something final through the court later?  Seems that we just have support request and blood test request from the state child support agency.  

The state is also ordering blood tests for all 3 of them,but he is to pay $456/monthly in child support NOW!  Is that strange?  I thought only established fathers paid child support.  

This is our first experience with separation/child support/visitation in our family, and it is making me crazy.  I really have compassion for all of ya'lls out there who live with this year after year.  
                   
                                 Nervous Grandma
 

[Ref]

I am not sure about what is normal in your state. He probably has a better idea of what is normal.

When he talks to the attorney next, have him ask if there will likely be a retroactive adjustment if the child support order is too high or if he will get the $$ back if the blood tests show he isn't the father.

I think the reason why the State is making him pay the money before the proof that he is the father is because they are assuming that that would be the best thing for the child.  Also, child support is usually ordered retroactive to that date that they moved apart, so your son may owe some because of that. I would ask that any overage in the support he now pays goes towards that (unless the court accepts the voluntary support payments as that and not as a gift). If they do consider his voluntary support payments he should have future support reduced by the overage (usually spread out over time).

Good luck, he is lucky to have you on his side.

Ref

[gipsy]

the way to get Paternity established is Done like this , So Call child support and get a superviser And ask t
 questions ,
   "what to we do about support if we don't know for sure if Son Is Dad ?
      All My answers will Be from what happened to me InPierce county washington
       A: They will send it to the prosecuting atty and they will order a paternity test ,
       I started the child support order My self cause I didn't want to get 2 years in Debt before It catches up to me <
      So He could file the support papers himself , And put down that he has reasons to believe he May not be dad , But wants the matter cleared up . Just call the DA and child support before getting an atty , As Due the situation She may just agree under the pressure of it all , Or she has to get an Atty ,
    And ask where the child support guidlines are and find out what he would be paying , If she has support coming in already . She probably has the guidlines already ,
    "It's pretty simple , And you won't need an atty , At first , Then as this goes on You will be getting ready to file for a Parenting plan , And get the child support work sheets ,
  This is what Happened to me , My aty said this is what they do evey time ,
  But then Atty's got involved cause she got one first , Then I got one ,
   I would try to Avoid atty's by doing this first ; This will take a few months . But if you get the support guidlines , And the papers rollinng then he could say , Look Why don't you just agree to Joint Custody ,
   If she doesn't then all sahe has to do is say " their is no history of cooperation " And He won't get Joint period , People don't know it so they make all kinds of trouble trying to make each other look stupid ,
   Don't waste time with this and take My atty;s advice ,
   He said " Get on with your life and do things to show you are a good parent " Get a Place to live ; Toy;s And a bed set up forthe child "
   And Guess what Happened ? thats what got reported By the Guardian ad Litem "
   This Is way simple , And it gets blown to an emotional degree of despair that's Demoralizing ,
   My case is done and All the Hoopla And Bs Doesn't get brought up at trial , UNLESSS Its a legal proveable fact that showes the parent as Unfit or a pedophile or the like ,
   So Chill , Be a good parent and Call these people I said to Then post again !

[williaer]

Gypsie-
This was the most convoluted post I've ever seen- no offense intended...but I didn't understand one thing you were trying to say.

[gipsy]

>Gypsie-
>This was the most convoluted post I've ever seen- no offense
>intended...but I didn't understand one thing you were trying
>to say.

Oh, Some time's I run It all together ,
   It's an answer to the first post ,
      Basically What I am trying to say Is ,
   1, Call child support
   2, Tell them you have a situation where  You Want to  file to Get child support started, When you get the paperwork Say "He think's He  could be the Father ,But Have reasons to believe That He May Not Be , Or ,deny Paternity
   3 It doesn't matter who Starts the child support Papers
   4 , In Washington , IF He say's He may Not be the Father , CHILD SUPPORT , Will Automatically send the Papers over to the Prosecuting Atty for Pierce county ,
   5 After The The PIerce county prosecuting atty Recieves the paper work with a request to Collect child support < With a Father that doubts Paternity , The prosecutor HAS TO Have a Paternity test , Because they can't waste there time trying to get the wrong Dad paying child support .
   6 Thats What I did  By Accident, I told My atty what happened and he said thats what they [A) Child support enforcement, And (B) Pierce County prosecuter Will do Every time thier is a collection action , And a Dad that denies paternity ,
       That  Is how you do it without  Hireing an Atty , And the first Post was about Hiring an Atty to do this ! I am Just explain How I did it ,
    If there Is some part that Is hard to Understand Post Again particlularly What Part you don't Understand , As this is quite Important to get this right and NOT Go Just say He is Dad And want's to pay ,
   Then when He goes to court for a parentin Plan , He Will have paternity established ,
    She could deny Paternity in court , But He could be just volunteering to be dad as far as paying ,
     This is a very wierd deal . Where Child support will take money if you SAY you are dad ,
   But In an Unwed Parenting action there has to Be a paternity action to prove parentage for Visitation ,
   So I could see how this would be confusing , because I know this , And Other;s On this Board don't
  When I write I some times run things together , Because  think that every one Has the same Knowledge ,
   Thanks for clarifying . And I hope the Original  Post Is Answered [TO ] the Original person