advice please...

[gemini3]

Ex recently requested that I not take the kids to dinner because my summer visitation was about to start and she wanted them.  We have been following a set schedule on this, although it's not specified in the order.  (Order says "reasonable" and this is what we've worked out.)  Can I argue this without looking like a jerk when we get to court?

[Jade]

>Ex recently requested that I not take the kids to dinner
>because my summer visitation was about to start and she wanted
>them.  We have been following a set schedule on this, although
>it's not specified in the order.  (Order says "reasonable" and
>this is what we've worked out.)  Can I argue this without
>looking like a jerk when we get to court?

Doesn't she get them for dinner during the week during your summer parenting time? If so, I would deny that request.  If not, then you should consider it.  

That said, if I were in your shoes, I would only give up the dinner during the week on the week before summer visitation starts.  

[gemini3]

No, she doesn't, but my summer visitation is only 4 weeks, and she gets them for a weekend in the middle.  They go to summer camp during the day for part of this time because I work.  The rest of the summer they spend with their mother who is unemployed.

In my opinion the issue is parenting time, which I have considerably less of.  She has several days to spend with the kids after school ends and before my visitation starts, and a couple of months after my visitation ends and before school begins.  So there's not an issue there either.  I don't see why I should give up my parenting time, because summer visitation and dinner nights have nothing to do with each other, and we all know what the schedule is.  

[mistoffolees]

>Ex recently requested that I not take the kids to dinner
>because my summer visitation was about to start and she wanted
>them.  We have been following a set schedule on this, although
>it's not specified in the order.  (Order says "reasonable" and
>this is what we've worked out.)  Can I argue this without
>looking like a jerk when we get to court?

In general, you have to go by what's in the court order. Anything else is nice, but not required. Courts should not be allowed to approve decrees that specify 'reasonable' or 'agreed' visitation since those terms don't guarantee anything and only lead to battles.

If you want more visitation and she won't agree, then your only option would be to go to court and request more visitation. That's likely to be expensive and there's no guarantee that you'll get more.