Help!!! VERY STICKY situation!!!

[Missmel44]

Thank you! I can not say how much your words lifted me, the tension in the knots consuming me are a little less at this moment. Any advice you have is always welcome. Again thank you!

[Giggles]

and judges are seeing more and more the importance of the "Father's" role in rasing children.  Prior, many based their opinions on the "tender years doctrine" thinking that women were better suited for child development...not always the case as you can see with what you're dealing with!!

It's very sad when parents aren't able to make the right decision in regards to the "best interest" of their children, they become tugs of war in a battle that drains finances and shatters families.

One thing I've learned from being on this board for almost 10 years is the extreme importance of having a very detailed parenting plan.  From the sounds of your fiances case, he's is going to need one.  However, the sad reality is that it is damn difficult to get a judge to take a hard stance on violations.  I have a friend on these boards that has paid out over $175K in legal fees to just try and enforce visitation!!!

It's a long hard road, very costly with sometimes very little satisfaction.  My best advice is to focus on "the best interest of the CHILD" and not so much on the comings and goings of the BM.  Try to nail down a iron clad parenting agreement and keep posting here...even if to just vent about the F'd up "Family" court system...we've all been there done that.

Good luck!!

[tigger]

your finance  was a part of that night and had no more morals, standard or etiquette than she.

[Missmel44]

You are right he is just as guilty as she, but that was not the issue. The issue is the quality of life...ect and lack of cooperation on her part. Keep the topic on track, thanks

[tigger]

eom

[Missmel44]

I did not bring up " who is worse than who"! I sought advice in regards to a mother that did not want to share custody and be cooperative. Do not put words in my mouth, I am trying to get advice not get a lesson in morals, because in this case, you are correct it took two to get into this situation. Now if you do not have anything beneficial to add to this topic, please keep your two cents to yourself, I am tired of sparing, we are not ten. Thank you

P.S. Im new...what does EOM stand for?

[Giggles]

You did come across very judgemental in your original posting and you continue to be "snotty".  If it's advice you seek, then ask questions and be prepared to get some answers you may not like.  Tigger is a very long time poster here and has a ton of very valuable advice.

In the courts eyes, they could give a rat's behind at what pedigrees you and your fiance have.  Sure you probably could give this child more in the way of materialistic than the mother....but what is important to the court is that the child's best interests are met.  So what if the Mother is on welfare, so what if she has to live with others to make ends meet...none of that is any of YOUR concern.

I've been on these boards for over 10 years...and you come across as someone who feels they are better than everyone else....that you want to take this child away from it's mother because you have a pedigree and could do so much better than her....wake up call....SHE is the childs mother...NOT you...so BACK OFF!!!

[MixedBag]

EOM -- end of message.

A person will usually put that in the subject line when there's no content to be read by clicking on the subject line.

I stand behind what Giggles and Tigger said.

Think of it this way....

You posted your situation or "the" situation giving out the facts that you thought were relevant to the story so that we could understand the whole picture.

What is being said is that some of what you think is relevant, really isn't at all when it comes to making the final decision or course of action.  

I too made the mistake years ago thinking that yes, we could provide a better home than EX#3's EX and my EX etc.....and found out in court that it was probably considered "irrelevant" on a scale of 1-10.

Hang in there!!!  It will get better!

[Giggles]

although I think I pretty much have a clue...hehehehe

[Missmel44]

I am going to put this out there for the last time. I am not snotty, let us not forget that computers do not have the ability to give off inflection. I do not think that I am better than anyone, at all, this has nothing to do with material items that can be provided, I am not trying to be this childs mother. My post was about a mother who WILL not let the father have anything to do with his child, who will not cooperate, the list goes on. Forgive me for being concerned with the well being of my fiancees son, but when my fiancee has a private investigator watching her every move, sees her leaving her kids to go party, get high or whatever activity that day brings, then you are correct my "pedigree" might get the best of me.  Is there anyone here from Washington on this board by chance? In my investigation of this mess I have found that Washington has the most hosed up family law system, so if anyone has been through the system there, your advice is welcome.  I would like to ask questions but just seem a little deflated after fielding all this nonsense, my attempts at keeping this post on track have been tossed to the side. So how about this, lets just end this post, if anyone knows how to take it down or to leave it alone, let me know.