ex trying to reduce visitation

[texastracy]

short overview.. divorced when kids 6 mos and 1 1/2 yrs... visitation was every mon and wed and every other weekend.  ex remarried and never had kids when married to second hubby - either with us or her mother.  ex married third time and moved about 45 minutes away.  dad agreed to waive weekday visitation (too hard for the kids) and retained weekday during summer and every other weekend.  ex taking to court to reduce visitation to 1 day per month citing kids are 13 and 14 and social lives are busy.   Every time we get the kids, they say they did nothing on their weekend home.   The kids are happy and have fun when they come on the weekends..  we allow them to go to whatever events fall on our weekend and work the visitation time around it - ex refuses to switch weekends.  1 day per month works out to 12 days per year to a dad.. this is not fair - how can he maintain his relationship with his kids when he wont see them.   Both kids complain that they do not like the 3rd hubby... can a court honestly take reduce visitation to this with a father who has always paid support and been involved with the children's lives... this is dad who in 13 yrs has never gotten a sitter when he has his kids !   HELP !

[mistoffolees]

A court can basically do whatever it wants if it believes it is in the best interest of the child. But I don't think that's the question you really want answered.

The first thing to check is what your divorce decree says. If it grants you certain visitation rights, you ex can not take them away from you. If she tries, file fore her to be found in contempt of court.

But it sounds like the situation is even simpler than that. You have a court order which defines visitation. Ex is trying to change that. In order to do that, she's going to need to prove to the court that it is in the children's best interest to spend less time with their father. THat is going to be pretty hard to establish.

In your shoes, I would consider a counter suit (since she has filed to adjust visitation). Father would argue that since Mother is now living only 45 minutes away that even more visitation is warranted. It would not be at all disruptive for the kids to spend a lot more time with their father. Ask for every weekend and one night a week during the school year and every other week during the summer. There are plenty of research studies that establish that when kids spend lots of time with both parents they are far better off - so you could offer that as justification (studies are available on this site).

You might not win, but I would bet that the most likely outcome would be for the existing court order to be reaffirmed without change.

Although this one shouldn't be that complicated, your odds of favorable outcome probably improve if you can get an attorney to handle it. He/she would be familiar with the case law in your state and might know how the judge is likely to respond to any given argument.

[texastracy]

Thanks. We do have an attorney.  Yes the SA and subsequent court order call for certain visitation.   She has moved to a small county in NY where her cousin is the DA... All previous court appearances where in county where we reside but she brought this action near her home and our request to bring back to our county was denied.   I believe she feels that since her cousin is the DA and she has basically talked the kids into the fact that seeing their father is ruining their social life.. that she has this in the bag.  We have brought a motion for contempt and requested additional visitation.  A law guardian was appointed and our next court date is in a week or so.  She brought several untrue allegations in her petition and we have requested a deposition.  She was not happy about that at all....  Our fear is that the kids will say they want the visitation reduced and due to their ages of 13 and 14 that the court will make their decision based on that...  We know that once the kids are 16 that we wont see them much but we are not willing to give up this time now.  Where are they research studies located in the site?

[mistoffolees]

When did she move? If it was not too long ago, I'd go back to the court which issued the decree initially and file for contempt - particularly if she didn't move too long ago.

Where did you request bringing it back to your county? If you did it in NY, it's not surprising that it was denied. If, OTOH, you file in the jurisdiction where you live (assuming that is where the original order was issued), you have a better chance.

[texastracy]

we are in ny.. original divorce and all subsequent proceedings in monroe county.. she brought it in Orleans where she now resides and cousin is DA.  She moved out there in July 2003.  She ignored the courts direction at that time and we ended up settling on the day of trial.  This time around after denied to bring back to monroe, we brought motion for contempt.   Family Court is crazy in our area.... the Judge handling is a 1 man show - supreme, family, surrogate, you name it.   Let me know where in this site I can find the info regarding children doing better with both parents... thanks again.

[mistoffolees]

After 4 years, I guess it would be hard to bring it back you your district - especially since you agreed to allow her to move. You're going to be stuck dealing with it in her court - or appeals, although that's pretty expensive and hard to win.

To find the articles, to go //www.deltabravo.net. On the bar near the top of the page, there's a link called 'articles'. You'll find a ton of articles on that page. Look under 'studies and statistical information'.

[texastracy]

Hello again.. to update, when returned to court, the law guardian reported that the kids wanted to continue 1 full weekend and another weekend but flexible in that they pick the weekend the come.  The Judge at that time recused himself and another judge will handle.  We offered settlement based on law guardian report.  Ex rejected it completely.   We took a deposition of the ex.  Outcome was father does everything he is supposed to, never not gets the kids, take them to their events, works around the kids activitites and yes she basically calls the shots... not very favorable to her... and yet still not willing to settle.  Claims this is at the children's request to visit 1 24 hour period per month.   The law guardian contacted the children again and yes they have reversed their position - they are ok with basically 1 weekend a month from Sat-Sun and the option to visit a second if they want to but not required.  The matter has been set down for trial.  Our attorney advises that she has not been able to show a change of circumstance but that the Judge will take the children's position into consideration - ages 13 and 14.   At a loss, do we spend another 5,000 for trial to end up with one weekend anyway.  The law guardian is favorable to our side as he has complied with and has been flexible with the children and their schedules.  Any suggestions???