Just want to know what people think...

[Brent]

>Regardless of what anyone tells you, no one, male or
>female has the scale weighing on their side.  

Well, unfortunately that's not really true. Fathers are nearly always at a disadvantage in divorce and custody issues, and to deny this is to deny reality. As a longtime user and supporter of this site, I can tell you that without a doubt, the scales are tilted. If that wasn't so, this site wouldn't even exist. It's politically correct to say that "no one, male or female has the scale weighing on their side", but the evidence shows otherwise.

SPARC started as a mostly 'father-focused' site. Over the years that's changed, but I can tell you from experience  that if I had to go into divorce court today, I'd rather go in there as a mother than a father, no question about it. The courts still favor moms over dads very much. That may not be your personal experience, but I can assure you that by and large, not much has changed. :(

[Jeepnut67]

Pretty much most of my evidence that is hard evidence is the pictures of the 15 yo's room, he has the anti-christ symbols, beer cans, booze bottles, porno DVD's and just a plain mess. Also the record of the police visits, the police may have been called to the school when the 12 yo brought the medicines to school too. I am considering calling the courthouse and checking with someone who really knows what they are talking about, the last person I talked to didnt seem to know what I was talking about, it is possible AZ doesnt have an official form for parenting schedules like some states, but I'll find out for sure. I may drive up there (50 miles away) and talk to someone face to face and see what can and cant be done. If I find out that if I keep my son here and only let the BM have visits here she cant do a darn thing until the court appearance then I will definately keep him with me. My father is even threatening to have her arrested for tresspass if she shows up here unannounced. I could just see her face if the sherriff showed up to remove her from his property (where I am living actually).

Thanks again and I'll keep everyone posted.

Dave

[antonin]

Take the child, file an exparte motion. mothers do this everyday upon the advice of THEIR attorneys. If I would have done this, my child would be with be full time and I would not be in poverty. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

[tjraid18]

 The reason I even suggested holding on to your son if their is no court ordered custody is because when I initially began seperating from my ex-wife I got tired of never seeing my kids unless I kissed but and begged. And even then it was her whim wether I ever saw them or not. One day, after we had been "trying to work things out for a few days" a fight erupted and instead of leaving my kids---- I picked one up in each arm, and proceeded to my apt. 4 blocks away. I dragged my ex wife for about a block and 1/2 and lost a good t-shirt and some skin. It was the kind of scene I would never want to expose my children to or see any other parent expose theirs too. But after awhile, seeing my ex get away with anything and everything short of murder & never getting to see my kids who I loved a great deal, I decided to do what I felt I had to do. She called everyone to try to get the kids back under her roof, but NOBODY could force me to give them to her. At this time I new nothing about the laws on this stuff. I just didn't have the resources behind me to work and have the kids 24-7. On top of that I would have to worry about the ex trying to swipe them back and that whole game was not part of my plan when she told me "Honey, I'm pregnant." So, I let some mutual friends talk me into taking the kids back to her house and talking things out. I didn't fully realize the position I was in and the opportunity I let go untill a lot later. I hope that if you even consider this as a strategy you will think about what it will mean to your son first. Then what it will mean to you. And if you want to gloat at any discomfort you cause your ex then wont that bring you to her level? If you do it, do it with regret that you have to stoop that low because the law leaves you no choice. Thats just my opinion, and I wish you luck!!!!!!!