From a concerned wife...

[jillynbrad2006]

My husband and I just got married in February, and he has a 4 year old daughter from a previous marriage.  The child's birth mom has been very hostile towards me since day one, and she say's nasty things about me in front of the child.  Last summer we had his daughter for 3 weeks, and for a week I took care of her by myself with no problems from the mother.  This summer, we were supposed to go and pick her up this upcoming Saturday, and now the birth mom says that she is not comfortable with the daughter staying with me for a week while her dad is at work. She said that we can come pick her up the following week when her dad is on vacation.  This essentially leaves us with 10 days to spend with the child instead of 20.  Also, she does not let us have the child for major holidays such as Christmas, Easter, etc.  She says that her family wants to spend time with the daughter.  The custody agreement between the two of them is joint legal custody, and she has full physical custody of the child.  Can she just deny visitation like that?  She has known our plans for the childcare since April?  Any assistance I can get would be appreciated.  Thanks!

[Kitty C.]

If everything you've stated is in the custody order, anything she does counter to that is in direct violation of that order and you can file a petition of contempt of court.  BUT, you can do this ONLY after the violation has been committed.  Meaning, even if she tells you she will deny visitation, you can't do anything about it until it actually happens.

So if your DH's CO specifies how holidays are shared and how many days area allowed in the summer, and you have documentation to PROVE what she's denied in the past, you will need to contact an atty. to get the contempt process started.  It's a crap shoot as to whether to tell the BM that she is in violation of the CO and you will be forced to file contempt against her or to just go ahead and do it.  It's very possible that, if you tell her, she might make matters worse, so only you and your DH can know how she might respond to this.  I still would recommend conferring with an atty. first to get their opinion, preferably the same atty. your DH used in the past, as they will know the history of the case better than anyone else.