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PBFH upset stepdaughter!!! Need help before Sunday!!!!

Started by madstepmom, Nov 29, 2003, 01:37:42 PM

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madstepmom

Ok SD came for thanksgiving and she will be here until Sunday.  Her mom called while we were gone, so she went straight to call her mom and her mom says did your dad talk to you, or  did he ignore you?  (DH has never done that ever) and then SD asked her if she could meet us halfway to bring SD home (trip is 10 hours), and she was like I have no money, my car broke down, and its gonna cost me 150 to fix it.  She told SD to tell her dad to send more CS.  SD told PBFH that CS has been sent (She gets it like clock work every 2 wks.)SD said you have gotten 2 CS checks already.  (BM acts like she doesn't ever get a check) Anyway, SD said you have gotten it, and she goes since you did, I really need clothes.  PBFH said we have already discussed this.  Tell your dad to buy you some clothes.  SD is really upset about this, because she hasn't talked to her mom in 6 days and all her mom can do is gripe. SD started to cry, because no matter what she tells her mom, she screams at her, and puts her in the middle re: CS!! SD said that this happens all the time and she is sick of it.  They argue all the time, and her mom calls her a bitch.  She really wants to live with us, but is afraid of what BM will do (because she is a PBFH!!!!!!!!!!) anyway, if SD decides not to go home (P.S. SHE IS 17)what can BM do?  We have always told her she is welcome here, but PBFH refuses to let her live with her DAD!!  HELP quick, she is to go home TOMORROW!!!! (all is in TExas)
Most of this is because she is jealous of SD and me (stepmom)she never does anything with SD.  She always tells her that the CS is none of her business, and it is to be used to pay bills.  She is not to know when PBFH gets CS check.  HELP~!!!!!!

tulip

Now it's Mon, so I'm wondering--did she go back to her mom's? If not, your dh could be charged with a crime for keeping her. How long til she turns 18? I would just ride it out, I know that sounds miserable but it takes so long to change anything anyway. Maybe dh could file for custody and see what happens. When she turns 18 cs will stop right? Then bm will have to support herself and sd can live wherever she wants. In the meantime, I would not encourage her to have bad feelings toward her mother. Refrain from sharing your feelings about the unfairness of it all, she already knows what her mother is. She shouldn't be encouraged to take sides, that will make her always feel defensive. Just let her know that she is welcome in your home, and when she is 18 and can make her own decision, that's probably where she will be.
About the clothes--my 17 sd lives here with us, and we haven't bought her any clothes for a very long time. She is old enough to work and she buys her own clothes.

madstepmom

The BM called after calling and freaking out as always, and said SD can live with us...Yeah thats right.  She is staying for the first time ever!!!  I enrolled her in school.  
Just a note to everyone, when you situation seems hopeless, just pray. Things will get better, because this change was instant.  She was absolutely against it the day before and has been for 8 yrs.  
Anyway, thanks for the response.  
Now Im nervous for some strange reason.  I don't know why.  I have 2 children of my own, but still nervous.  Anyway, thanks to all, and will let you know how things are going.  SD is very happy!!
~~Renae~~

sweetnsad

Congratulations....just goes to show that the good guys do finish last....