The shoe is FINALLY on the other foot!!!!

[madstepmom]

Well as some of you may know, my SD BIO mom finally let her come live with her dad at 17.  Anyway, me and BIO mom are talking.  I mean I let her complain to me about all the things she was mad at me, and all I said was hmm yeah I understand...because I didn't want to rock the boat.  Anyway, my problem is this...my husband pays current CS and back CS.  BM actually thinks he should continue paying both.  I don't get it.  I mean, its a given about the back pay, but current too and we have the child.  My problem is I am scared to say anything because I am afraid that she will get mad and take the child away from her father.  We would be willing for her to just send the current back to us, and her not pay anything, but I honestly don't think that her paying CS has ever crossed her mind.  In actuallity I believe he would just pay nothing, and she wouldn't have to actually pay anything, but like I said, I don't want her to get mad, and take the child away.  Her letting her come live with us was a plain miracle.  
I need some input on this one, about what to do, because I don't want to ruin anything, but we can't afford to pay CS and have her too.  HELP!!

[rini]

hello

how long has sd been with you and dh??

what state??

rini

[Peanutsdad]

Hun,

You KNOW the answers to this one,, heck you've offered the same advice I'm about to give you.

Wait six months to establish status quo,,,, THEN file for custody mod and cs mod. It doesnt get what you guys are currently paying to totally go towards arrearages, BUT it does give you better footing.

Unfortunately, waiting the 6 months, also puts SD too close to age of majority( probably), thus making any legal fight a nonissue. I'm willing to bet BM has even thought of that.

So, in essense, I would probably not rock the boat, just enjoy this last year.

[TX]

The same thing happen to us when SD moved in at seventeen. After years of griping about my husband paying too much CS, I ate crow and advised him to not to modify the support. I knew we just couldn't afford to pay his ex and have his daughter live with us, but I knew money was always the issue with his ex. Well, the next day he went to the attorny's office to file a motion to modify and two days later his ex was served. That day, his ex drove to the new school his daughter enrolled in and took their daughter back to her house. A week later, the daughter tried to commit suicide, one month later  she was arrested and spent Thanksgiving in jail. The daughter was raised to believe all the lies told about her father and it's done nothing but destroy her. The money was the issue and always has been regardless of the welfare of the daughter. Pay the ex the money and let your husband enjoy what little time he has with his daughter. Take a big step back and realize your important, but it's his daughters time. Your husband will love you more if you respect the relationship he has with his daughter. I say that, because I learned from the school of hard knocks. Pray, Pray and Pray that you won't let your needs get in the way for six months...he'll be yours for the rest of his life, his daughter won't.

[rini]

i came up with a great idea

motion for current support to be applied to arrearage  you can do this right away


this serves 2 purposes

you can do it right away

it does not cut her money and will cut your arrearage

rini