Need advice, what would you do?

[joni]

It's the same old story I've seen many times here.  I have a beautiful, 6 y.o. SD.  SD lives in NY, we're in IL.  We see her two weekends a month plus extended time at the holidays, she flies in.

SD is a sensitive and emotional child.  She is very bonded with us.  It's my belief that the child is emotionally and at times, physically abused by her mom.   The BM is emotionally checked out on this child.  The child is basically left in the care of maternal grandparents, who they live with.  Of course, whenever we take her to court, she's mother of the year.

The child does not want to go home at the end of visitation.  She hates her school, last week she faked being sick for four days.  She says she's bored and lonely at home.

To challenge custody would bankrupt us.  We're in the hole every month just paying child support and property settlement from the divorce.  I know challenging custody would entail psych eval's, witnesses and a long court experience.  BM would fight us tooth and nail, she doesn't want to lose her commission check.

It's just devastating to listen to her and worse to have to send her back.  How do you get through this?  What would you do?  What have some of you done?

[nosonew]

This is a tough one, hope you get some answers, don't know that I can help except to say, pro-se?

[avalon]

This might sound off the wall, but is there any way you can change your life a bit and move closer to your child?

That way you can get more time, which might help her a great deal without spending huge amounts of money to gt custody (of course you'd have to consider what's keeping you in IL and if that can be altered.)

Then you get a modification of visitation because you live closer and it' much easier on the SD.

My kid hated taking the plane by herself to see her Dad so I moved to the same town where  he lives and things are much better for her.

It's  a big sacrifice, but worthwhile if you can do it.

I Loved your F. Scott Fitzgerald quote....we're in the midst of a custody battle for my DHs son and it seems like we always lose the little battles but hopefully we'll prevail in the end.