Right of First refusal

[mango]

We share 50/50 custody. It's ver conflictive to say the least. The mother decided to leave the country for 8 weeks and simply have someone else (her mother) do the pick-ups and drop offs for the custody switches. She figured no-one would ever know she was gone. She also tried to make the child keep quiet about the whole facade. However it was a little more obvious then that. My question is wouldnt the father have the right to have full-parenting time if the mother is away? Does the grandparent have the right to parent on her time instead of the father?? We think she will do this more often thinking she got away with it. He big claim in court was that she was more available to devote time to her child then the father, yet she is hardly ever parenting the child she usually leaves her with her mother. (the grandparent)

Frustrating!

[dsm]

Is first refusal outlined in the court order?  If not, get it there.  

What your DH should do for now:
1.  Draft a letter to the mother documenting the dates of this time and how he believes that the child should first be parented by one of the parents.  And then request that in the future she make him aware of her situation and if he is not able to care for the child, then her mother is more than welcome to take over.  (Shows that he is willing to compromise)  Plus he will want to allow other people than the mother to care for the child if he expects you to be able to do it for him.

2.  Never put the child in the middle about her plans.  It is not up to the child to keep y'all apprised of what she is/isn't doing and where she is or is not hanging out.

Good luck!