The sad joke we call "counseling" is over

[oklahoma]

My husband has his last joint counseling session with his daughters yesterday.  He came out with the ever-present sense of frustration, but also relief that we are able to check off one more thing on the list to getting things back to "normal."

So after 5 months of counseling, in the last session it comes out that "punishment" at Dad's house is far less to be feared than at Mom's house, and that old stepdad has a bit of a temper.  But does anybody care?!?  As my husband said, the counselor will go home and put a little check by our family as being "fixed," satisfied in her work.  She mentioned to my husband how proud she was that he had changed his behavior and was communicating better, etc. etc.  Very funny--he has said every single time that he did nothing wrong and would not apologize and would not change (at least no more than the average parent changes as they become more experienced as a parent.)

Everybody is sick of this mess--including BM.  She actually told my husband that they need to be careful that it "doesn't get this far" in the future--as is my husband had any control over it.  SDs no longer have all the attention from BM and counselors and police, etc. etc. so they are tired of it too.  When it comes right down to it, life at our house is pretty good--despite chores, and discipline, and a student budget....

So the counselor thinks supervised visits will only last a few weeks, then back to the EOW thing.  That means I have to get over my frustrations.  My SDs have an almost-two year old sister who is afraid of them, and it is really their own fault.  By the time they are back in our home on a regular basis, they will have had 2 years of their mother's parenting that we have to deal with, since it is very different from the way my husband and I have chosen to parent.  It was hard enough when we saw them EOW....