Stupid Vent, But my heads about to explode!!...

[smtotwo]

I'll keep it short, but this is pretty standard behaviour on out weekends with skids.

Early today we went fleamarketing. 10 yr old ss says I'm hot can we get something cold to eat.

O-K. Fine. We went to Dairy queen.

When we got there 10 yr old wouldn't get out of car.

DH, 12 son, 8 ss, and me go get ice cream.

When we get home 10 ss says to DH  can I have some Ice cream?
I told DH if you give him ice cream I will be furious!!

He says to me  calm down its no big deal if he has ice cream.

Well,  YEAH IT IS!!  HE was the reason we stopped to begin with.

He didn't give it to him, but still now 2 1/2 hrs later he's still telling me
its no big deal.

To me it is.  I would NEVER give in to my kids this way, and he shouldn't be either, it sets an example for all 3 kids, my sons and his 2.


GRRRR!!!

O-K  done now.
THanks for listening!!

[Fobbed-Fodder]

smtotwo,

Normally I would not respond to a post like this but your hormones are in need of tweekin, so here goes.

First of all I wish you could actually read your own post objectively and then subjectively see what exactly is wrong here, then you would see how absolutely insane your post acutely is.  

This is a site where so many of us are truly hurting inside for our children and here you come along and tell us "my heads about to explode!!..." so I click on that thinking wow something must be terribly wrong lets see if I can help, then after reading I come to find out this is all over ice cream and a 10 year old little boy that you are about to loose your marbles or what ever it is you keep up there, God forbid rational common sense is out of the mix.

I'll tell you what, I sure wouldn't want to be in your family when something really tragic goes down, sounds like you're running your own private little fear-factor drama soap to me.

Ice cream is one of life's simplest little pleasures and for many young children it is extra special in many ways.
Why you might ask?  
Because subconsciously it represents family bonding and enjoyment "together as a family unit".
How you might ask?
Well first off how many children run out and buy a bunch of ice cream and pack it home for the whole family to eat, probably not many, I thought as much because I don't know any either.  

Therefore, the children seem to be dependent upon us parents for "ice cream support" at least that is how reality is around here.  So because children are dependent upon us for "ice cream support" that means they look to us for approval when requesting an "ice cream fix" your response to an "ice cream request" by a young child is directly related to how you view the importance of that child within you immediate family composure, therefore because you are the adult with the mature emotions (at least that's the way it should be) your response should be tailored to acknowledge a potential bonding experience with the child.


<10 yr old ss says I'm hot can we get something cold to eat.>

Now, just look at you're response to your child's "ice cream request"



I'm going to steep further out on a limb here and give you my best assumption, and that is some where between the "ice cream request" and "O-K. Fine" and actually arriving at Dairy queen someone got there G-string in a not, so it shouldn't really be any surprise that



Now should it?  Then once home you ran with it and traumatized not only the young child but admittedly your husband and entire family as well, just take a peek below and see really how wrong your whole trip is on this "ice cream thing"









That last statement says it all; you actually do not like this child do you?



More than likely because you got your husband on the defensive scared for his life and his children, not knowing when "Your heads about to explode!!..."



A divided house will soon fall so get you're "ice cream act" together before it's to late!

Next time your at Derry Queen have a banana split on me :)

[smtotwo]

"your hormones are tweaked" statement.
And if you read the FIRST THING I WROTE WAS>>>
STUPID VENT  because I knew it was.

However, this is a recuuring problem with my stepson.

Not a one time incident and it wasn't about the ice cream.

It's about DH setting some boundaries for his children like we set for my son.

I've been on this site for over four yrs, and frequently come here to vent so that my "head doesn't explode" at home, which by the way is a figure of speech.

And the comment about not liking the child is WAY off base.
I actually love this child very much.  However, I wouldn't tolerate that kind of behaviour from my child either.

This kid has NO rules at home and is made to be the parent for his 8 yr old brother and 8 yr old stepbrother.
He babysits 6 days a week for 6-8 hours.  I don't think he knows how to not be a parent.

[Kitty C.]

It had NOTHING to do with ice cream, and EVERYTHING to do with a child who has become a master manipulator.  He's setting up the hoops and making everyone jump thru them.  By his father not being firm with him and putting his foot down, the only message he sent was that the boy's behavior was acceptable, when it is NOT.  Obviously his father saw it as 'only' an ice cream issue as well, hence the lack of discipline.

It's only considered a stupid vent based on what the incident 'seemed' to be about.  It could have been ANYTHING, it's the behavior that's the problem and how it was reacted to.  I can promise you that the base issue started LONG before the issues with the ice cream.  If it had been me and my child (step or bio, it makes no difference to me), he would have either come in the store with us, or we would have turned around and left immediately.  AND I would have grounded him from ice cream for a week if he had refused to go in.  NO child in my home gets away with that kind of behavior.

[lucky]

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