Falsely accused father in need of legal input

[Ryan]

I'm not sure where to start or what to present.  So, I'll begin with my being married for 10 years to a woman with BPD.  She did not reveal her condition for years.  We were emerged in counseling from early on and through the duration with the same counselor.    

I finally left my wife and she made drastic efforts to get me back, to no avail.  I had told her I was leaving during a counseling session several months previous for I was well aware of the abandonment issues.  Not able to resolve her inner turmoil she filed false criminal charges with the local law enforcement that I had molested out 4 year old daughter.  Being that we were living in a small town in Montana at the time law enforcement was more than eager for a felony case and to support this poor woman and daughter, victims of such a horrific crime.   My point is not that it would not have been a horrific crime, rather the charge that blinded law enforcement.  

Needles to say I've passed lie detector tests from the FBI with a 98.7% belief that I'm telling the truth in my innocence.  Also subjected myself to extensive pedophile profiling, again no correlation what so ever.  The list goes on...

While I have strong reason to believe I've one of the best, if not the best attorney in Montana I'm loosing my case.  It has been over two years now and I'm feeling fortunate to not be behind bars, yet.  

Yes, there is much more, yet, I need help and have no idea where to turn.  Our therapist of 10 years states "if anyone molested (our daughter) it was (X)." X being my BPD wife.  She has many other statements to the same effect such as she (my wife) have two personalities...

Is there any help one can purpose I pursue?  I am running out of options.  The last card in play is that I negotiate away my daughters being able to ever seem me again in the effort she (BPD wife) drops the charges.  This entire situation is so insane it beyond comprehension...

Any suggestions?

Thank you

[kiddosmom]

I do not know about the rest of it, but if you make an agreement with your ex then you will be basically 'admitting' you did do the crime and are just trying to find a way out of trouble. Never make deals.

[perserverance_1]

I think there's a forum, called Dear Socrateaser on this site, if you haven't already posted in that forum, you might want to do so.

I have some questions for you:

Have any affidavits from the therapist indicating that she/he has had no indications that you have molested your daughter been entered into the courtfile?

Has documentation showing you passed the lie dector test and pedophile profiling been entered into your courtfile?

Was your daughter examined by physicians, was the examination for sexual assault negative, and if so was this entered as evidence into your courtfile?

Is child protective services involved and has the information listed above been submitted to their files?

If charges are pending against you are they criminal or civil in nature?

If you do have a court case pending and have a court file, and none of the above information has been entered yet, you could gather and submit this info. yourself, but your attorney should be doing it.  

If CPS is involved, get their reports and make a statement of corrections and objections, send to cps and submit to your courtfile.

It's important to enter as much evidence of your innocence as possible in case things go badly, then you should have some points of appeal.

pers.

[DAD 1]

Dear Ryan I was married to a Borderline and have a 5 year old daughter. False allegations are common with Borderlines contact me Rolragg @ aol.com I think I can help Ron

[Rysimps0419]

Let me start out by telling you how sorry I am that you have to go through this, my heart goes out to you. I am a woman who is fighting for my son to see his son. I am appallled at the way the legal system works. My son has also been falsley accused for domestic violence and lucky for him so far he has been able to fight it. In doing some research to prepare him for anything that they may try to accuse him of nect I found this site. Innocent Dads.org. I do not work so I am dedicated to not only helping my son but anyone who needs it. I spend a lot of time doing research as he does work. If there is anything that you may need help with please let me know I will be glad to assist you in any way I can. This is nightmare for you fathers but so much more damaging to your children. You can contact me through my sons email [email protected] opr my email [email protected]

You may have lost some battles but the war is what counts...please remember this because I have found out it is not easy to fight this stuff, but never ever give up...there are lots of people who care and want to help. You may want to join us in fighting together...please read Erin Brockervitch under Visitaion Posts.

Warmest wishes,
Sandy

[wendl]

I'm not to familar with these types of cases, try to contact [email protected]. He was falsely accused and sentenced to 10yrs in jail, since his release, he has dedicated himself to help others, he works with high powered attorneys etc.
Do a google search for Dean Tong, it has so much information.

Best wishes.

[DecentDad]

Hi Ryan,

Sorry to hear what you've gone through.

Here's my feedback, presuming everything you've provided is accurate and truthful.

1.  Petition the court for a psych evaluation on both parents, including custody evaluations.  Be willing to cough up $10k to $15k for this.  Do some local research to find a clinical/forensic psychologist who is experienced with personality disorders and/or alienation.

2.  Read http://www.cfli.com/Evil.html   This is an attorney who really "gets it" in terms of what you're facing.  Find an attorney who has dealt with the chaos, conflict, and allegations the likes of which you're facing.  Ask attorneys straight up if they've ever heard of personality disorders.  If not, don't retain them.  You need someone who fully appreciates the venom and evil that this mental illness can inflict upon everyone involved.

3.  Get into therapy for yourself, if you haven't already.  You've got so much debriefing and recovery to do, if you've been with this woman for 10 years.  If you haven't worked on this part of yourself, it's likely that you're shell-shocked, and anyone in such a state will not be strong enough to change what you're wanting changed.

4.  Stop taking a defensive strategy.  You've already proven yourself.  Develop an offensive strategy, with your attorney.  Start deposing your ex for the custody matters.  Depositions are costly but great for showing just how nuts someone is.  If your attorney doesn't feel depositions are effective, find another attorney.  Sitting your ex down for 4 hours and having her speak logically, rationally, and with factual basis will be an impossibility.  The illness will show itself, and the deposition transcript is admissable at hearings.

5.  DO NOT MAKE A DEAL TO NEVER SEE YOUR DAUGHTERS AGAIN and do not settle for supervised visitation.  Either one of these is pretty much telling the court that you concede that you're guilty of the charges.

6.  Read the book "Stop Walking on Eggshells" (available at Amazon).  This will help you strengthen your resolve in how to view you ex, as well as how to deal with her, while maintaining your own sanity.

You need to think strategy.  Obviously, you don't have the area's best attorney if your case is going nowhere after two years.

Find/keep major support around you.  Stay strong, and always do what you know is best for your children, not yourself.

Best,
DD

[Ryan]

Thank you for your message and support, I just emailed Mr. Tong and though considered copying you, it is very long, let it surfice to say I can't thank you enoupgh.

Yours,

Ryan

[wendl]

anytime, I went to a seminar that he was a speaker in, if you lived closer I would let you borrow my tape of it. He is a very smart man and will tell you staight what should be done.

Let me know what he says.
Wendl

[cabledawgwife]

Ryan

I first want to say I am so sorry you are going thru this. My husband's ex is accusing him of the same thing. This has been going on for 2 yrs, only now she has the child coached into saying her daddy did these things to her.

Its an awful thing, and I cannot believe someone could stoop so low into saying something like this.

My husband is of course really un nerved about this whole thing, my husband loves his daughter and would NEVER do anything to hurt her.

I would like to talk to you more, do you have yahoo messenger?


Karen