Along the lines of "quick vent" post

[katz]

but way more expensive!

My sd has to have hearing aids, they cost *ME* (yes I paid for them out of my own money) $2,500.00. In my dh's original court order, that he never enforces, sd's mom is to pay 40% of all medical not covered by insurance. So the deal was my husband had to put back 40% of the hearing aids and he has.

Anyway while on visitation with her mom, sd's hearing aids got water in one of them, thus costing us (out of mutual funds this time) over $800.00 to repair.

My husbands ex, I just cant understand how she can live with herself not supporting her daughters needs in any way shape or form (no of course she does not have to pay child support nor is it ordered). I wouldnt be able to sleep at night, knowing I ruined something someone else had paid for and didnt pay to repair it.

Sure this issue mostly lays on my husband for not enforcing the court orders (due to fear of our court system I am sure), however that doesnt explain how can a person live with themselves?

Just a vent, but I will never get it. I take pride in knowing we are making our own way in this world, and not taking advantage of other people this way. Besides the bags under my eyes, from lack of sleep, would look just awful IF I lived my life that way.

[DeeDee]

I once had a conversation with my dh's ex about her not supporting her children in anyway.

She just laughed and said I was a sucker to help financially support her children. "It actually puts a smile on my face everyday." Was what she actually said.

I guess it was a power/gloat trip for her.  She never has and never will see that it only impacted negatively on the children.  She never has paid any form of CS whether she was ordered to or not.  She will never come around.  Just a horrific combination of a poor value system combined with an utter lack of principles and severe mental illness a symptom of which causes her to have no conscience before behaving the way she does nor any remorse for the damage her behavior causes.

Like you, I'm very glad I am not like my dh's ex...gotta have some pride and dignity. Keep your chin up and hang in there.

[KAT]

Ah, like our biohag, she doesn't care. I think some people just don't have a conscience, like Dee stated. The least he can do is send her a copy of the paid bill requesting her 40% via certified mail. If only for the simple reason being that you know, in the future, she is going to sue you for something...this will be kind of of wild card, motion to show cause/contempt and to show she isn't financially responsible. He needs to think ahead. This is about keeping custody & not about HER feelings. He already knows not to expect payment so it will be painless right? Documentation is the KEY. Send ALL the bills that way & keep accurate notes. Should have, would have, could have isn't going to help in a custody battle...and we never know what is going to happen in the future.
Good luck.
KAT

[true]

Hey there,

Sorry to hear about the hearing aids, along with the history of non-payment for medical bills.
I am the cp MoM who has a ncp who has paid $30.00 towards unpaid medical since 1994. I have two children 14 and 11 so obviously over the years medical bills have been incurred. I have sent copies they go ignored. He currently uses a previous address with any medical clinic so that option is out too. They attempt to send him the bills as well. He complained that I was "making up" medical bills. Although I have come to the decision to no longer "accept" his medical denial of bills. I get enough of that with the insurance company. It's a document, document situation. I have come to the understanding that the court will only look at the previous three years of incurred medical expenses. (my loss)

Good luck in getting the help with the expenses.

true

[msme]

but, there are lots of good people dealing with this crap. My son's ex once told him that he made plenty of money to support the family, when they were married so, he should have plenty to support the kids without her. She then swore that she would, "never pay him a single F###### penny of child support.

Well, just before one trip to court, she paid $50, about a year & a half ago. Then she told the judge that she had just started working & making payments. The judge said that was good & did nothing.

The AG went after her, earlier this year & charged some of the arrearages. Then, when she was facing jail, she paid for 3 months. We found out later that her boyfriend was paying. Even with that, she was still 2 months behind when she went for the AG review.

They had said if she wasn't current, she would be put in jail. Guess what. The AG did nothing because she had made some payments. Oh by the way, her CS is $250 a month & $40 on arrearages, for 3 kids.
What a joke.

Also, their DD takes meds that have a co-pay of over $200 a month, as well as the co-pays for the kids therapy & misc. other medical expenses, of which she is supposed to pay half. She has never paid one cent of the medicals.

By the way, the boy friend is history, so are the CS payments. For some reason, the courts can not seem to understand that by not enforcing their sanctions, they are empowering her to defy them.

Hope you do better than my son has done. Good luck & God bless.

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