I swear it never ends....Need Help fast!

[Sunshine1]

Maybe when I'm dead all the chaos will stop...and even then I think it would continue "up there".

New dilema.  PBFH has petitioned to have CS "suspended" for 90-120 days due to an alleged assault and now suffering from Post Traumatic Stress syndrome...(yeah right, we won't get into that) in her affidavit it says.."I am simply not able to cope with work and the children".

How on earth would you take that?  She can't deal with both or one or the other or what??

She is already looney tunes but we have never been able to prove anything because I swear if you asked her if the sky was purple and she said it was, a lie detector would say she was telling the truth.  She is quite the actress and the judge in our case is always on her side.

Now our dilema, kids are to go for first 2 week summer visit tomorrow, knowing what we know for only a few days, would you let them go or would you file something to finally get a psych eval done on her?  This can of worms is not something we really want to open, but we would really like to get the psych eval done to make sure she is competent to be watching the kids.  Well she is a horrible parent, but this just adds to the list of things we are concerned about.

Any suggestions? We are in for a mighty court battle if we go ahead with the "post poned visit" until we see or get to the bottom of this.  She has an unlimited free lawyer BTW, and we would have to hire one.  What would you file a restraining order?  A motion for supervised visits and psych eval?  Need help, any help, suggestions, good or bad...

Thanks!

[wendl]

In my opinion if she cannot cope with work or the kids, I would be scared to send my kids, I would file an exparte hearing to suspend visitation until mom can prove she can cope with her Post Tramatic Stress Syndrome ( I hope she wrote that in her cs motions as I would attach it to an exparte hearing motion.

Geez what is with this woman.

Hope they don't suspend her cs for 90-120 days, hell I couldn't take that long off work but my ex does all the time he gets fired or quits his jobs constantly. Hence I rarely get cs.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[Sunshine1]

That's exactly where she put it, in her affidavit to her motion to suspend CS.  She said word for word, "....at this point in time I am unable to cope with work and the children". She never works, and it is pretty much on purpose.  She does daycare for people in her home for cash, there is always an excuse of some reason or another not to pay her CS.  

She is 3000.00 in arrears at only 250.00 a month.  Its not so much the CS, we know she'll get what she wants, and we really don't care about the money, we can afford to provide for them, but this new thing of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome??  Add that to the list of her going deaf, having breast cancer, losing a twin while pregant, and oh btw, did I mention this would be her 5th assault she has been a victim to? All lies.  This is her second request since April 2004 to have it suspended because of something happening to her, I can't remember what the last one was for.

So if you were us, you would find an attorney tomorrow, tell her they aren't coming and file on Monday?  Or write it up ourselves ( I can do that) file it on Friday, serve her in my driveway, and find an attorney on Monday?

GeEZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!  HELP!

[wendl]

filing an emergency exparte hearing I don't believe you have to notify the other parent (not sure ask soc.  If you do have time to file for a regular hearing then do so, I have done this without an attorney in my case, my dh always had an attorney in his case, so if you think you can do this yourself and you think dh is able to stand in front of the judge calmly then so do, if not get an attorney


**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[janM]

Man, she and my son's exgf sound like twins. She was court ordered to pay CS 2 years ago January, didn't pay a dime until this past April when she was garnished. We got about 3 small payments and then she checked herself into a psych ward for 2 weeks. CSEA says they are waiting on "something from her therapist" and she is "looking for a new psychiatrist". Gimme a break. She is supposed to pay just over 200 a month as well.

She has also claimed to be raped at work on 3rd shft (nothing on camera and cops almost charged her with false report) and is always "sick" with one thing or another. She was ordered last year to work or be in a work program but nothing seems to be done. She is now over 6 grand in the hole, which according to a friend means jail time in Ohio, but she gets away with it. If it were my son in that situation, he would have been hauled away long ago.

I think your bm's motion is a joke. I hope they laugh her out of court. Maybe you could counter-file contempt on her for non-payment, or does your child support agency do that? Ours did, she was found in contempt, then halfway through the month they gave her to pay, put her in the work program. Sheesh...

[Troubledmom]

Check with your Rules of Court. In my jurisdiction you can file an Order to Show Cause for temporary (similar to ex parte) orders.

Because there is a time factor involved, you may want to file the initial paperwork yourself and then hire an attorney to finish it all up unless you have a retainer fee at your disposal.

I would use BM's own filing in the request:

"I request that the court suspend parenting time between XXXX and CHILD for 90-120 days or until such time as she recieves psychological treatment for her admitted mental health issues that prevent her from being able to cope with work and the children.

I have concerns about the health, welfare, and safety of the children if I am required to release them to the care and custody of their mother at a time when she has already said she is unable to cope.

I am more than willing to release the children to her care and custody as soon as she is able to provide independent collobaration by a mental health professional that she has available to her the emotional and psychological resources to be able to cope with the day to day living with employment, household matters, and most importantly the care of the children."

[Sunshine1]

Great wording TM!  I am going to use it.  Ok, this is what happened.  DH and I talked it over and we know she is able to care for the children, she is making this whole thing up to get out of CS.  the boys wanted to go and we felt if she were actually "really" incapacitated to parent we wouldn't have sent them.

We also somehow got wrangled into this assault case she has going on and we have first hand knowledge that she may be charged with filing a false report or whatever you call it.

She does indeed have a mental health issue, but we don't think it is truly-seriously getting in the way of her visitation.

Don't get me wrong I would love to find something to call her bluff, we just felt we didn't have enough to go on.

Your thoughts?  Did we screw up by letting them go?  I can't tell you how evil she is and if you don't have your ducks in a row your screwed!

CS hearing is on Friday.

[rini]

Hello


wow truly a pbfh if i ever heard of one

since i suffer from ptsd i am very familiar with its symptoms.  

to have child support suspended she would have to present doctors opinion that she is suffering symptoms so bad that she cant work.

has she supplied this documentation?

my advice would be to have actual hearing postponed or decision post poned until you have a chance to defend against her allegations.

if she does not come into court with medical notes saying she cant work and is disabled they should not suspend support due to insufficient documentation.

rini

[hagatha]

You did the right thing letting them go.

From my perspective, if you had attempted to suspend the visit, (especially using her petition) you may look as though you actually believe her story and could end up with the mod she wants.

By allowing the children to go, you accept she is able to care for the children properly.

If at the hearing she claims she is truely suffering from PTSD, I would  immed ask the children be returned as she can not possibly hndle the added stress of the kids in her (sigh) helpless condition (he he he)

Use her own complaint against her either to squash the motion, or have the kids returned.

The Witch

[Sunshine1]

Give us prayers!!  We are trying to outwit a troll, so hopefully DH can do it.  We are totally expecting to lose tomorrow but THAT is OK!  We are hoping to get some bigger information that will hopefully get PBFH caught in a big snare and the only way to get out is to confess her lies...he heheh.  I want to go so bad to watch the drama unfold but I decided to put all my faith in DH to be able to deal with her without the added pressure of me sitting there.  

I know he can do it.  Please everyone send us a little prayer for DH to be able to convince the judge and be able to eloquently speak in court without losing his cool. (he is usually a rock in very high voltage situations and calm, but she can set anyone off).   I wish I could speak for him!!!

I will let you all know how it went!

Thanks everyone for your advice, I used alot of it in the response motion and I am definitley going to use it for the visitation motion!!  I love my SPARC family, I don't know what I would do without you!!