Memorial Day fun...

[ilovemysd]

In NJ.  12yo sd.  Parents have joint legal w/mom parent of primary...

SD has asked that arrangements for "unscheduled times" ie, holidays which are ordered to be split but require parental communication to arrange times, be arranged through her because of her mother's family's beratement of her father and the negotiations which must go on to allow anything.

This was followed for close to a year when dad decided that this wasn't doing sd any good, because she was afraid to speak up when she wanted to see dad, especially if she thought mom might have plans.  So, for Memorial Day, dad sent an email explaining this and asked to see sd on Memorial Day.  About 41 hours passed before reply (abnormal, typically reply is immediate upon reading), which says that daughter will be available from 1-6, and that grandmom will pick sd at 6pm at neutral drop off location.  We knew, from sd, that mom was getting married that weekend, but sd had insinuated that mom would be hanging out with her on Monday at a friend's house, so we gathered that there was no honeymoon.

Pick up at 1pm... sd was with mom's best friend, and not Mom.  
Took sd to fly a kite, sd passed out after 45 minutes from heat exhaustion.  Paramedics were called, instructed dad on what to do.  When sd was asked where mom was, were told that she was on the other side of the country on her honeymoon.  Dad called Mom to provide information and left a message stating an emergency.  Over an hour later, she called back, he advised as to the condition, said that he felt that it was in sd's best interest to be with a parent that night who could authorize medical attention, rather than her grandparents.  He told her he could drop sd back to the grandparents the next day.  Mom would be on her honeymoon apparently until Thursday.  Mom asked to speak to sd, asked sd if she wanted to go home.  SD said that she had homework to do.  This conversation was on speakerphone.  Phone went back to dad, still on speaker, when mom informed him that he was to have sd back by 6:10 at the latest, or she'd take the necessary steps of calling her lawyer, and his personal counselor, and the police.  She hung up on him.

At 6pm on the dot, the phone rang.  It was a police officer, calling from grandma's cell phone, wanting to know if dad was going to return sd.  Dad explained that it was in sd's best interest to remain that night with a parent who could authorize her medical care.  Police officer said he thought that it was in sd's best interest to go home where her school uniform and school books were.  Dad advised the officer that he had no problem picking those things up, but that for the night, he felt that sd needed to stay with a parent.  Police officer threatened to write his noncooperation in his DV report.  Dad said he understood.  Police officer asked to speak with sd, who very reluctantly did.  She told him that she had a headache and wanted to stay where she was.  Finally, it was worked out that sd would be returned to the neutral spot and her grandparents at 6:30am the next morning.  No further mention was made of her school books.  She fell asleep by 8pm and didn't wake up until the next morning when it was time to go.

Exchange was done without incident.  According to sd, she talked to mom, who offered sd the chance to stay home from school, with the understanding that she would have tons of makeup work.  Sd decided to stay home (wise choice, and one we had advised her on, as it was supposed to be 95 degrees, high humidity, and her school does not have very good air conditioning).

At 9:30am, the counselor called because mom had called her.  It seemed from the conversation that she had no knowledge of a medical emergency, and simply had been told that there was a disagreement over whether sd should go home on Monday night.  Mom had asked her to call back, but counselor advised that she was not going to because this was not her place, but did allow us to schedule an emergency appt. for the weekend (sd has been attending the counseling sessions as well)

SD was brought for dinner on wednesday night with a bottle of water and snack in case she was taken to the park again.

No further sounds have been heard...

Does anyone have any thoughts or ideas?

[4honor]

I think it is fishy that a "police officer" would  call from grandma's phone. And then harp on the child's school belongings in teh face of a medical condition. Did you get the officer's badge number (they are required to give it to you if you ask) and the incident number?

Go get the alleged report.

keep copies of the Emergency room notes. You cannot be in contempt unless you willfully failed to foolow a known court order. The definitive defense is that you were protecting your child's life (which this I think qualifies).

Further, I suggest SD be checked out  for other conditions, as the heat exhaustions concerns me (ex EMT here).