Apparently being home alone at age 12 is better then seeing dad ?

[mango]

We have a shared parenting plan, and split summes. Bio Father gets 1st half BM second. (Parents live 30-40 minutes apart)

In our situation the BM has been attempting to disenfranchise SD from her BF and our whole family/half siblings etc. Legally, psychologically, and physically attempted to relocate on many occasions. Obsessed alienator (PAS) Long story short, we finally were able to get permission by the court for counseling. Although BM naturally refuses to participate....

Being that our summers are split we go a long period with no contact during the BM's half of summer. During our half BM called every night to talk with SD. However in turn, typically during BM's half of summer, when we call SD, she did not return our calls. We wrote letters, and she said claims she did not get them. You know the drill....

The summer switch just occured last week, / now with her BM.

This year BM got a job and SD is expected to be home alone. We brought this concern up with the counselor along with the inability to contact her during her half of summer. She suggested that during her half, that we go over and visit her. Being that she is 12 now and home alone anyway, it should not interfere with her mom and her time together since her mom was at work.

Well today BF called to see if she was there and said he would like to visit, with her 3 half-siblings. Apparently after he called she called her mom and reported to her that dad was coming over. BM called BF and said he was not allowed to visit during her time.

He respected her wishes and did not visit.

Anyone have an insight on this?

Could he get into legal trouble for visiting during her parenting time?

At least the good news is that we can at least call her now, since mom is not home to intercept the calls now...Guess we should be happy about that part....

Anyone have any suggestions. We have 3 weeks left until we see her again.

[ocean]

Hmmm...What was he going to do, visit in BM's house? Is SD babysitting younger siblings? If it was at a public place, then I say yes it is fine but not at her house.
If I was BM I would be mad because you tried to do it behind her back. She is 12 and should not make the decision to go anywhere with telling her mother where she is (on mom's time).
Could you call BM and ask her to take her once a week while she is at work (and you will return her before she gets back)? IF not, I would leave it be. BM did not see her when she was with you the first half of the summer. She has to go to work and many camps/daycare end at 12.
JMO....

[mango]

Yes, he was going to check in on her and drop off a poster. He would not have gone inside. She is home alone, no siblings with mom.

The counselor had suggested he drop by for check ins, unannounced. But BF and I were uncomfortable with doing it because we would not want her to stop by without calling first either. But we never leave her home alone either duirng our time. I think the counselor was alittle concerned with the fact that she is alone the entire day. Kids at that age can get into mischief...

[ocean]

I agree....12 is young but I will be running into the same problem next year for after-care. It ends at 11 here! I would keep the offer open and then call her at lunch daily and see how she is doing. Your SD should be told not to answer the door for anyone. Sad, that she has to be in a house all day when she can be doing stuff with you until her mom gets home from work. Maybe next year. you could offer mom a weeknight in your five weeks if she will do the same for you.