Gentlemen its time to help us help ourselves!

[mypal]

hello

In answering to all men that have said...."what we need is an alliance to help us fight these injustices!"
Ive been thinking of this since before i was married. in site of all of the men that are being treated unfairly by the court system of each state. I am semi disabled and am tired of this non-sense. I say we should put together an alliance, nationwide to stand very strong in numbers. I understand that many have stated that they would have a hard time in organizing and finacing such a project.

We will never know unless we try!

I am now alerting all of the men who are tired of this debauchery that this nation calls a fair family court system. We need an allaince right now!

I am stepping up to the plate and elect to devote some of my time to putting this thing together.

If you are driven to help make a difference, if you can relate to all of the men that have that sinking, lost, and beaten feeling while walking away from the courtroom, that pit of bile churning away at your insides as you clench in anger or cry when you drive by the park that you and your child once played in as I do,  please post a reply as I will contact all of those interested by Email.

And please let me know if you can volunteer to help put together what can and may well be the light weve been searching for.


Chris

[Hawkeye]

I agree, but it seems that there are more fathers and non-custodial and children's rights groups than I can count. Some are very local groups, and some like //www.acfc.org are national.

The director of one, now defunct group //www.dadi.org (dads against the divorce industry) told me he thought organizing men is like trying to herd cats. I tend to disagree as there was more to his group folding than just that.

Since situations vary so much and state laws all differ if I were you, first look at the major groups and contact them. The ACFC is currently doing just that, connecting the dots between small groups and forming affiliations.

One reason I mention acfc is that just this year, they brought onboard, none other than the renowned Dr. Stephen Baskerville as President. Have a good read at his own website, //www.stephenbaskerville.com for some eye-popping info. If you haven't already be sure to read his article "Is There Really a Fatherhood Crisis in America".

There are other groups such as Fathers4Justice in the UK and the MillionDadsMarch worldwide. Just do a few websearches for "fathers rights" or various terms and look at the nearly endless list.

And it's not all about dads getting shortchanged, just this afternoon, I received a letter from a mom with two girls in their grandmother's care in one state. The father is in the Army in on the opposite side of the globe and the grandmother is, in another state, attempting to deny the bio-mom summer visitation.  Sheeesh, the poor mom is on the verge of screams to find a lawyer that understands not only two state laws, but the Army as well.  

I'd be glad to do what I can, if you'd like to email me, just click on my ID here, it relays to my regular email. (THANKYOU SPARC!)  I'd love to order the Parent-tracker, but for now can barely afford to keep my ISP paid to stay online.

Oh, and watch this space next week for what promises to be an important change in Iowa law regarding joint physical care, Kitty C. has been working hard on that one!   THANKYOU TOO, KITTY...   LUV YA!  ;)

[tjraid18]

   Hello Chris,
           
         I'm willing and ready to listen to any ideas. There are a lot of groups out there (worldwide no less) that are trying to unite already. Some are more successful than others. But the breakthrough a lot of us are hoping for is yet to come. Feel free to e-mail me [email protected]. There are a lot of guys who are trying to get everybody together, but it's not easy. I'm at the computer off and on throughout the day, so I can get back to you pretty soon.
                         
         
"THE ONLY VALUE MONEY HAS IS IT'S ABILITY TO CORRUPT A MAN."

                                                                             tjraid18

[Brent]

>"THE ONLY VALUE MONEY HAS IS IT'S ABILITY TO CORRUPT A MAN."

Does this include women as well, or are they loathe to sully themselves with base money?

[antonin]

Do you know how many father's rights groups there are out there?  A zillion.
The fact of the matter is....no one wants to get off their dead butt and sacrifice a little bit of their time. There was a Million Dads March in DC last year. I went. 30 people or less showed up, including the participants. There is another one this year. ARE YOU GOING? I have been involved in many campaigns....petiton signing, letter writing, etc. etc. This stuff does not work. This thing needs a massive civil rights push via marches, demonstrations, etc. I've been in 30 different organizations and it always boils down to the same thing. Lots of talk. No action. Too many bosses. No workers. I think you could best serve this cause by joing an already established group like the ACFC and work from there. the last thing we need is another father's right's group.

[Peanutsdad]

>Do you know how many father's rights groups there are out
>there?  A zillion.
>The fact of the matter is....no one wants to get off their
>dead butt and sacrifice a little bit of their time.

What Time?? How many Dads out there have all this spare time??




There was
>a Million Dads March in DC last year. I went. 30 people or
>less showed up, including the participants. There is another
>one this year. ARE YOU GOING? I have been involved in many
>campaigns....petiton signing, letter writing, etc. etc. This
>stuff does not work. This thing needs a massive civil rights
>push via marches, demonstrations, etc. I've been in 30
>different organizations and it always boils down to the same
>thing. Lots of talk. No action. Too many bosses. No workers. I
>think you could best serve this cause by joing an already
>established group like the ACFC and work from there. the last
>thing we need is another father's right's group.



I serve my own cause just fine thank you. I work, raise my children, educate those who WANT education.
What I do NOT do is waste my time with marches, button campaigns, petitions ect.  Nor do I become involved with radical activism of any sort. My dignity is intact, I'll keep it that way.

I have no desire to be a boss nor a worker bee in anyones organization. But hats off to those that do.

[Kitty C.]

Back at cha, bud!!!!!!  :D

Just sitting on pins and needles here, hoping and praying we get GOOD news!!!!!!!

[tharper001]

There is another organization, A Kids Right Organization, that is desperately trying to get family law reform in the state of New York.  John Murtari has spent many days in jail, in fact, because of his silent protests trying to get a meeting with Senator Clinton.  And unfortunately, he is usually standing by himself.

Please e-mail him if interested.  You can reach him at [email protected].  

There are many, many organizations that are out there.  Some will stand for more than others.  I have been receiving updated e-mail from John Murtari for almost five years now.  They can be a little difficult to follow at times, but can make for some very interesting reading.  He is trying to get his Senator to sit down and understand the importance of family law reform.  To date, he has not been successful.  I have supported his efforts by sending written documentation to Senator Clinton... unfortunately, I am not in New York, so it probably doesn't even reach her.  Until our senators realize how serious of an issue fathers face and how wide-spread it truly is, I'm afraid nothing is going to change.  

I am, in no way, a person that could go face to face to discuss such an important issue in front of my senator.  I would be more than happy to discuss via written documentation my personal situation.  However, about two years ago, I had contacted Senator Bill Nelson's office here in Florida.  I do reside in Florida, and I explained some situations that my husband had with the Department of Children and Family.  I'm not sure if someone in Florida could get a meeting with Senator Nelson soon, but I can tell you, his assistant was absolutely shocked when I told her what had happened.  This could be an excellent starting point in Florida.  

[tjraid18]

   Sandy --- this could be great advice for you, if you haven't already.
 
      Maybe all of us who are interested in doing something should contact as many fathers rights groups as we can and express our desire for them to contact each other and work together. We could do this
individually, or with some planning, as a group of concerned N.C.P's.
   The leaders of these various groups who know more than any of us how to do things should all talk to each other and come up with a user friendly way for all of us to become more involved. A lot of people don't have the time or money to involve themselves. But if there were something they COULD do ---- I'm sure they would. Peanutsdad and Antonin are right. There are too many groups, too much talk, and not enough people doing something collectively as one group. I go to web-sites (fathers rights) and look around and read a few things. I find out a little interesting piece of information here and there. I'm informed of a rally in New York that I can't make it to; and then I get a ton of fathers rights messages and information that is way out of my league and does me only some good. I end up having to spend more time figuring out which messages to delete and which to save than I do using any information that may be helpful. These fathers rights groups and informed, active people who are involved need to help us come up with a way we can all get involved.

[antonin]

Any group that advanced their cause to correct what they perceived as social injustice utilized social protest, and in some cases, revolution. The War For Independence, The Civil War, The Woman's Suffrage Movement, The Black Civil Rights Movement, The Anti-War Movement in the 60s, The Pro-Abortion Movement, and The Women's Right's Movement are among the many social upheavals that resulted in active protests by the participants. It is unfortunate that you do not view what is happening to men in this country as having the same importance as the other serious social issues that have plagued this country.

And yes...all the above was considered radical protest at the time. That's how new laws get passed. By social organization and protest. Period.

You seem to imply that anyone who actively campaigns for what they believe in via petitions, etc. is a radical-fringe-type and are "wasting their time." If that were true, all the campaigners for Kerry and Bush, and every voter in this country would be in that class.

This is supposed to be a democracy and one of the responsibilities that comes with a democracy is that the citizens must ACTIVELY be a part of it. Serving your "own cause" is fine, but does nothing for the common good. Eventually your own cause will deteriorate because the common good will deteriorate.

As far as finding the time. I attend a very good group in the state where I live. They are good men. There is just not enough of them.  These guys are construction workers, gas station attendants, executives, the whole gamut. They find the time.

I think I hear the macho rattle of "take it like a man" in your remark about your dignity. Are you implying that men who publicly protest are whiners?  Wimps? It is this macho attitude that has placed us where we are. We have been taking it and taking it.

While you have custody, most of the men here do not. Some of them have tried as hard as you and lost. I have 50/50 and could feel the same way as you, but I do not.. I was lucky. You were lucky. (Perhaps that is the reason for your political indifference: you have what you want, so the hell with everyone else.).

You are neglecting the most important issue: What about your grandkids? Your daughter just might have sons, ya know? Would you want them to grow up in a world with a court
system that is exponentially worse than it is now?

This will be my first and last response to you. I have no desire to perpetuate an argument on this board.

For anyone else interested in being a "radical activist," and "wasting your time" some of the previous posts
contained good references, especially the one mentioning Dr. Baskerville. He spoke at the Million Dads March last year...pity there was no one there to hear him.