Venting on myself

[Ref]

Over the past 13 years I have known her, when BM calls and says she wants to talk about SD to DH, it turns into some long list of why he is an a$$hole and how he doesn't care about SD. It is total crap. He cares for her enough to sometimes tell SD "no" and that is something BM just can't do. Most of these calls have been since she was 11 and wanted to only see Dh for 9 days in the summer, atleast that is what BM was claiming. They usually are about some decision SD made that BM is standing by her.

BM calls last night and left a message on our machine asking for DH to call her back and it was about SD. I fell for it again. I started worrying if SD is ok (BM never lets us know if SD is sick or went to the Dr.). I starting thinking about pregnancy (she hasn't had her period in several months and just went to the Dr about it) or major illness.

DH rolls his eyes and tells me that this is the same as in the past and not to worry. I couldn't help but worry all night last night. He will be contacting BM tonight about it and I know I will be on edge all day.

Why do I buy it every time? I hope DH is right, but I always worry....

Ref

[Mamacass]

BM used to do the same thing to us.  Then we realized that her calls actually came every Monday after SS had spent the weekend with us.  She always found something trivial about the weekend to raise a fuss about.  And we learned that if we wanted to see SS the next weekend we better humor her and call everytime she had a problem to discuss.  

Of course, I would still worry every Monday about what it would be this time and hope that it wasn't something serious.  When you're dealing with a crazy BM you always worry when they call and say "I need to talk to you"  b/c you've learned that those words almost never precedes something good.  You always hope its something dumb (as annoying as that is), and worry that this may be the one time that she actually has something serious to disuss.  

I'm sure your SD is ok, and as hard as it is, try not to think about it.  Just remember, worry won't help anything, it is just time wasted.  Go out to lunch with a friend, or read a book, or rent a movie.  Unless you're at work, in which case try to bury yourself in what you're doing so that you don't have time to worry.  (I still have trouble taking that advice).  I'll be praying fo you!

[dipper]

I agree with the other post - try to get beyond thoughts of this.  I used to actually be nonfunctioning I would worry so much over stuff.  It absolutely consumed me.  Now, while I worry more than I should - because there is nothing we can do to change it - I dont let it disable me.  

Why do you worry?  Because you love sd and you are a parent....its natural to worry......

[Ref]

DH spoke with his ex last night. SD went to GYN for the first time because she hadn't had her period in over 4 months. It was pretty embarrising for her.

She had bloodwork done and the results must have come in recently. She has, what I can only figure out, Polycystic ovarian syndrome. BM said she has cysts on her ovaries and increased insulin.

Needless to say, I googled well into the night about it. It seems tough, but not anything that can't be treated with birth control pills and diet for now.

If anyone knows any very good sites or has any advice on this disease, I would appreciate it.

Thanks again,
Ref

[dipper]

Ref,

I have this as well.  I began to be irregular by age 17.  At 21, the obgyn told me that it would be v

[CGS]

Ref, I've had this for years and it is very manageable without much change at all to my regular life.  Prior to my diagnosis I had surgeries to remove ovarian cysts which are very simple procedures done laproscopically on an out patient basis and requiring very little if any pain medicine later.  Also, instead of birth control pills, my ob suggested a Mirena IUD, I've had it for 4 years and it is wonderful.. no cysts since.  

[Ref]

Thank you so much for sharing this with me. Who would have thought that someone could come to this board and get help for GYN issues!!!????:*

I am researching like the dickens and hoping that she isn't too traumatized by all of this.

Did you adjust your diet to a lower glucose diet? I hear that helps a ton.

One of the weirdest aspects, outside of the physical issue, is that BM has called DH twice in the past two days to update him and promised an update tonight. She is a little tweaked about this right now (so are we, but she is normally an emotional wreck), so I think she is getting the drama she loves from this rather than making up crap about DH.


Thanks again! You guys are amazing!

Ref

[CGS]

The diet part wasnt too big of an adjustment for me.. Because I'm busy w/ work and kids activities, I've used a system for years where each of us in the house picked 7 meals we like for each meal of the day and I rotate through them one at a time over and over again until someone asks to add something new.  

When I needed t watch my own sugar levels etc, I just pulled out all of the recipes and substituted sugary items for healthier options.. I know now that everything in the rotation is healthy enough for me and everyone else gets their favorites.