Ex is in Psych Ward.....

[hisliltulip]

On Tuesday, my ex called to speak with our five year old son. I handed the phone to son, and they spoke for about 15 minutes (which is about the norm). When son got off the phone, he said "Daddy is in the hospital". I asked him if that is what his Daddy had said, and he said "Yep, he's there because he's sick in the head". Needless to say, I was worried. My ex has bi-polar, so I wasn't sure if he was in the hospital because of that, or the flu, or a head infection.... Knew nothing.

The next morning (6:15) he called me collect from the hospital. I asked him why he was in the hospital, and he said because of the bi-polar, and there had been a mix-up with his medication. I asked how long he thought he'd be there, and he said a month, maybe two. I then requested an address so son could send him pictures and such, which he gave me, then got off the phone.

Here's the thing, I find out from our FIVE year old son Tuesday night that ex is in the hospital, ex confirms it on Wednesday. EVERYONE in ex's family has ALL of my phone numbers, home+work+cell, yet no one calls to tell me anything.

I call my ex-fil, and ask what's going on, and he says "oh, yeah, I was going to call you, ------ is in the hospital, because he STOPPED TAKING HIS MEDICATION. He was admitted on Friday."

Noone called me, noone said a word. I'm still in shock. The last time he stopped taking his medication, he tried to kill me and our son. All of the family knows this, yet no one called me. I find out from our son. I'm livid, I'm scared, and I don't know what to do right now. I've tried talking to his Doctor. According to our custody papers I am to be informed of each hospital admittance and release, reason's why, and am to receive blood test reports. But the Doctor's don't look at that, they look at patient privacy. She did let me know that at this time they have no idea when he's getting out, and that she would keep me informed of whatever information she was allowed to, but that was about it.

I'm furious with the family for leaving it to a sick man to let me know, he can't take adequate responsibility when he's like this!

Then my ex FIL called me to see if they could have DS for Christmas! I said if ex was out of hospital, I would consider it, but I wasn't going to make a decision right now.


WHAT IS WITH THESE PEOPLE!!!

Ok, I'm done now.


All right, how do I handle phone calls from my ex to his son while he is in hospital? Do I let son talk with him, or do I ignore the calls. I don't know his exact current state of mind and am afraid of what he may say to son.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks.


BETH

[StPaulieGirl]

Damn.

Ok, You could let him talk to the boy, but hit the "speaker" option so you can listen in.   If he says anything completely weird, cut off the call and notify his doctor.

I think his whole family is sick.

[JAFO]

I think I would have told him that he dropped the ball when he failed to inform you that his son was admitted to the hospital and therefore, you fear for your child's safety.  

I like the speaker phone idea.  I was thinking to record the conversation too or at least listen in on the conversation (supervise it) for the time being.

One day at a time, and you will know that answer the best.

[hisliltulip]

Ex is still there.  Have not heard anything else from his family.  My ex-fil is doing the "if I ignore it, maybe it will go away" again....  Whatever, someone has to be responsible.  Looks like it's me again.

Ex has not called since Wednesday, so I haven't had to deal with trying to figure out what to do.  I do think that I'll pick up the other extention though when they talk.

Spoke with Ex's social worker again today (spoke with her last week).  Our custody papers have been "mis-placed from his file" along with the release of information form he finally signed last summer.  She asked him to sign another form, and he has of course refused.

I'm sending another copy to her tomorrow of the CO.  Hopefully, they won't lose it again!

Thanks for all your help!

BETH

PS.  Please keep my little boy in your prayers, in all of this, he is truly the innocent one.

[StPaulieGirl]

The next time they "lose the paperwork", send it certified, with signature required.  The most important person is your boy, but of course your ex deserves all the help he can get.  I'd make an appointment with your ex husband's doctor to document the existence of the court papers, plus you could maybe get a handle on how to work whatever visitation can be allowed right now.  Hey, maybe seeing his son would help him out.  

I'll say a prayer for all of you.  Hang in there :-)