There goes the neighborhood-just me whining.

[tulip]

My family lives in the house that he built 16 years ago when he was with his 1st wife. She left him and their kids because she wanted to party and not have any responsibilities. Then pbh moved in, he married her, and about 2 years after he realized she is a pbfh, he asked her to move out and divorce. When they split up, dh and I were friends, but not romantically or sexually involved. But of course, she doesn't believe that. Anyway, pbfh is really good friends with the woman who lives across the street from us, so she automatically hates me without ever having met me. She will not let her kindergarten son ride the school bus, because she is afraid he will become friends with my daughter. When she sees dh at the store and he says hi to her, she looks away. All my skids are friends with her kids, and it has been really hard on them to have this animosity.

 About 3 years ago, new neighbors moved in next door, from another state. They have two kids, and our kids play together a lot and we have always been friendly, but not spent a lot of time together. Sometimes though, she has seemed to have a really weird attitude toward dh and me that we can't explain. Well now all of a sudden she is hanging out with pbfh a lot. They are having lunch together, she picks her kids up for school every day, and I just found out that Fri night is spending the night at their house to babysit.

 Of course this makes me very uncomfortable, but I know that it's none of my business to tell my neighbor who to be friends with. I really hate the thought of pbfh being next to door to us all night, and I am probably going to go out Friday night so I don't have to think about it. But here's what really gets to me. At least once a month, dh and pbfh have a big argument and pbfh threatens to ruin his life. One of the ways she plans to do this is call his work and tell everyone their that he is a drug-dealer. Well, she can't do that now, since he was laid off last week. She also has said that she will have a talk with me and tell me all sorts of things that will make me leave him. Well, this is really hard, since I won't talk to her. The other part of her plan is to tell everyone we know, everyone in our community what absolutely horrible people we are. We haven't really let these threats get to us, since we figure anyone that knows us can see that we are just a loving family who are trying to take good care of our kids and be good Christians.

But every time we hear that pbfh is getting closer with our neighbors, it makes us uneasy. Is she just doing this to try and make us uncomfortable? Is she trying to turn our whole neighborhood against us? The other day, dh went to pick up ss from the bus stop, and neighbor lady wasn't their to get her kids, so he offered them a ride home. They said no, and stood there in the cold rather than get in his car. He is not a stranger to them. They have been over here to play many times.

This has really been bugging me. I was going to try and talk to neighbor lady about, which makes me kind of nervous, because she might just tell me to mmob. Today when I hoping to talk to her at the bus stop she wasn't there. Then, after I got back, I saw pbfh pull up in her driveway to pick up her kids, and they were out in the driveway laughing and talking for several minutes.

Am I just being really selfish by wishing pbfh would just stay away from my neighbors? I know she wouldn't appreciate if I was hanging out with her next door neighbor. I'm sure it just makes her feel great to know that she is getting under my skin like this. If anyone has any advice or encouraging words, I would appreciate them, but please don't tell me to move. We have decided to stay in this house because it is the place that skids have always known as home, and we have reassured them many times that we are planning to stay here for their sake.

[Kitty C.]

........She's BARELY bordering on stalking. If I were you, I'd be reading up on you state laws regarding it.  You might also want to contact your local LEA to see what they require as grounds for an arrest or charge.  then document and videotape if you have to.  It's harrassment and pseudo-stalking, there's no other way to look at it.  Cuz it's making you uncomfortable even living in YOUR own home, right?  If you don't feel safe in your own home, there's definitely a problem, and moving will NOT solve it.

[tulip]

It's nice to hear that I'm not just being selfish. I will try to look up the local laws on stalking, but I really don't think that there is anything I can do about it, legally. She has been over there every day this week, and I'm really sick of seeing her car every time I look out the window. I am trying to just keep myself busy with things that make me happy, so I don't think about it.

This is really giving me a whole lot of stress, and I feel like I have no one to talk to about it. My husband keeps telling me not to let it get to me, because that's exactly what she wants. It's not that simple though.

[Peanutsdad]

While it may not meet the requirements for stalking, nor the legal burden for slander,

What this woman is doing, is making sure you , DH, AND the kids are shunned within your own community.

What definition she does meet,, is that of a pbfh,, she takes these actions out of spite, revenge and malice. There is no public concern, no justification.

Since she has already co-opted your neighbors, I really dont see what you can do about them. While it may make your life miserable for a while, I am betting you all can outlast her spite. Trust me, sooner or later, her new "friends" will tire of listening to her poison,, unless they are the kind of person that thrives on that crap. In that case,, ya'll are better off.